1. Kansas City Chiefs: ERIC FISHER OT Central Michigan GRADE: C
Fisher is not a bad player but there is a reason why the Chiefs are picking #1. Looking at a clear cut number 1 player vs. a one hit wonder and the Chiefs took the lesser player. Fisher will have a good career……….as a right tackle. Joeckel will have a HOF career at LT. If Joeckel was not on the board I would have given this pick an A- grade.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars: LUKE JOECKEL OT TEXAS A&M GRADE: A+
Far and away the best OT in this draft and how Kansas City did not know that is beyond me. The Jaguars make the right call for the first time since Tony Boselli. Everyone who is a Jaguar fan in Jacksonville should send Christmas cards to the Chiefs’ front office.
3. Miami Dolphins: DION JORDAN DE OREGON GRADE: F-
It has been a long time since the Raiders have gotten one over on another team but grab them ankles and don’t forget the lube Miami. Too skinny, too injury prone, and too……well too not good enough to be taken this high and at the price it cost them to get there.
4. Philadelphia Eagles: LANE JOHNSON OT OKLAHOMA GRADE: C
Oklahoma players are always way, way, way, waaaaaayyyyyyyy over rated and this cat is no exception. Hey have you heard yet……..Lane Johnson is the most athletic OT in the draft? Yeah, guess what he lacks the strength and technique to be able to deal with even the most average of NFL defensive ends. The Eagles are officially on the clock for Jadeveon Clowney in 2014.
5. Detroit Lions: EZEKIEL ANSAH DE BYU GRADE: F-
2010 was the first time he ever even saw a football field. He has 4 ½ career college sacks. Ansah is the very definition of one hit wonder. This is so bad that you have to wonder if Al Davis’ ghost bought the Lions and re-hired Matt Millen as GM.
6. Cleveland Browns: BARKEVIOUS MINGO DE/OLB LSU GRADE: B+
Now I love KiKi Mingo but Dee Milliner is the better player and after signing Kruger the Browns had a greater need for a corner than for an edge rusher. Too lean and lacking upper body strength to be an impact player on a consistent basis.
7. Arizona Cardinals: JOHNATHAN COOPER OG NORTH CAROLINA GRADE: C-
WHAT THE……………………..Chance Warmack is on the board and you take this guy………….good luck with Carson Palmer and your second rate team out there against the 49ers. What is going on in this draft? These GMs are functioning retards.
8. St. Louis Rams: TAVON AUSTIN WR WEST VIRGINIA GRADE: F-------
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the Miami Dolphins thank you for trading more away for a worse pick than they did……..you just went full retard Rams and in the draft you never go full retard…….never go full retard. His highlight reel consisted of him out running Iowa State……Iowa State……how many Iowa State players are NFL starters on Defense? I don’t know but if I had to guess I would say ZERO! The Rams should have just bundled all of their picks to the Chiefs so they could take Manti Te’o #1 overall………morons!
9. New York Jets: DEE MILLINER CB ALABAMA GRADE: A+
I don’t think anyone who lives in the real world believed that Milliner would be here. Milliner will be the most aggressive and big hitting corner in the NFL this side of Dunta Robinson. To get the best corner in the draft at #9 does not make the Jets draft gurus it makes seven of the eight teams in front of them terrible at the draft.
10. Tennessee Titans: CHANCE WARMACK G ALABAMA GRADE:A+++++++++++++
The Titans get the best G in the draft and the most NFL ready player regardless of position. Just like the Jets the Titans are not so much draft experts as it is so many others are terrible. The Titans are laughing all the way to the bank with a future HOF Guard.
11. San Diego Chargers: D.J. FLUKER OT ALABAMA GRADE: A-
If he can’t beat you with his skill he will just look at you real hard and scare you to death with his face. The new ugliest man in the NFL is possibly the second best OT in the draft and the Chargers get him at an extreme value.
12. Oakland Raiders: D.J. Hayden CB UTAH GRADE: F--------
Oakland…….you traded out of #3……..Sharrif Floyd was still there…….I was typing all sorts of praise for Oakland because how could they not take Floyd…...HOW DID YOU NOT TAKE SHARRIF FLOYD!?! Then they took a guy who almost died….in practice……against Conf USA second stringers…………he is going to die in the NFL. I wanted to love you Oakland but once again you brought the full retard to the party.
13. New York Jets: SHELDON RICHARDSON DT MISSOURI GRADE: F
Well some lucky team will have Rex Ryan as their defensive coordinator next year. Unreal just how awful this pick was.
14. Carolina Panthers: STAR LOTULELEI DT UTAH GRADE: C
Much like Fisher at #1 it is no so much that he is bad as it is Sharrif Floyd is so much better. The Panthers are a joke and they keep getting funnier…..from those God awful uniforms to their inability to draft.
15. New Orleans Saints: KENNY VACCARO S TEXAS GRADE: F- (for Full retard)
Kenny Vaccaro sucks! He is weak, slow for a safety, can’t tackle, can’t shed blocks, can’t close, and can’t be very exciting for Saints fans. He will not be a starter by 2015.
16. Buffalo Bills: E.J. MANUEL QB FSU GRADE: F------------------------
Poor mechanics, horrendous accuracy, and very stupid in both football knowledge and God given common sense. Really Buffalo……..this is your answer to your inability to fill the most important position on the field since Jim Kelly? Move over Eagles you just got competition in the Jadeveon Clowney sweepstakes because the Bills just took a less talented Vince Young.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers: JARVIS JONES OLB GEORGIA GRADE: A++++++++++++++++
This is why the Steelers have so many Super Bowl wins……this is why the Steelers are always good and why they don’t stay down for very long. An exceptional pick made by one of the elite franchises in the NFL. The rich get richer.
18. San Francisco 49ers: ERIC REID S LSU GRADE: A++++++++++++
Dear New Orleans,
Thanks for being stupid and not knowing how to evaluate defensive talent. We will send you an edible arrangement from the Super Bowl in February.
I Hate You,
Jim Harbaugh
P.S. ”Pinch the tail and suck the head”? You guys are fags! Patrick Willis told me to tell you that
19. New York Giants: JUSTIN PUGH OT SYRACUSE GRADE: B
Every Giants pick is a B every single year in every single round. They never reach and they always get a player. The best teams are getting great players because the worse teams don’t know what they are doing.
20. Chicago Bears: KYLE LONG OT OREGON GRADE: B-
More of an early 2nd rounder but with the Bears needing 5 new O-linemen it is not that bad of a reach. Had they taken Te’o it would have been an Indian Food Diarrhea filled dumpster fire, but the Bears dodge that bullet. The Bears finally get a player with the last name Long after the League put the nay nay on the Howie Long to Chicago three way in 83’ that would have sent Elway to the Raiders.
21. Cincinnati Bengals: TYLER EIFERT TE NOTRE DAME GRADE: C-
If he played for any team other than Notre Dame he would have been a second round talent. He is a good player and a definite NFL player but this is way too high for Eifert.
22. Atlanta Falcons: DESMOND TRUFANT CB WASHINGTON GRADE: C+
Not a bad player but they did not have to trade up to get him…..he would have been there at 30 so the Falcons just basically threw away a draft pick.
23. Minnesota Vikings: SHARRIF FLOYD DT FLORIDA GRADE: A+++++++++++++
The steal of the draft at this point and a perfect fit for the Vikings. The best DT in the draft and a top 5 talent. In 10 years it will be legendary how many teams passed on him and when the Raiders are back in Los Angeles in 5 years the Oakland fans will be able to point to their colossal miss on Sharrif Floyd.
24. Indianapolis Colts: BJOERN WERNER OLB/DE FLORIDA STATE GRADE: C+
An early second round player that the Colts could have traded down into the second and still nabbed while adding picks……..Margus Hunt would have been a better 3-4 DE.
25. Minnesota Vikings: XAVIER RHODES CB FLORIDA STATE GRADE: A-
Picking at 23 and 25 the Vikings were not tempted to package and move up but may be the biggest winner in the draft. The Vikings are loving Atlanta for moving up and then taking the third best corner available leaving the best available corner for them at 25.
26. Green Bay Packers: DATONE JONES DE UCLA GRADE: D
Typical Ted Thompson throw away pick as he grossly over values a 3rd round talent on DL.
27. Houston Texans: DeANDRE HOPKINS WR CLEMSON GRADE: B+
I like the player and I like the fit but they could have traded down to the Jaguars or Eagles and still had Hopkins on the board while gaining picks.
28. Denver Broncos: SYLVESTER WILLIAMS DT NORTH CAROLINA GRADE: B+
A solid pick and a value this late in the draft but they had greater needs that could have been addressed.
29. Minnesota Vikings: CORDARRELLE PATTERSON WR TENNESSEE GRADE: A-
The Vikings complete their run away dominance of this draft. The Vikings get value, impact, and need in all three picks. Patterson will be an impact player from day one.
30. St. Louis Rams: ALEC OGLETREE ILB GEORGIA GRADE: A
The best ILB on the board and he will not move outside……James Laurinits is about to get cut but he honestly should have never even been drafted.
31. Dallas Cowboys: TRAVIS FREDERICK C WISCONSIN GRADE: F----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh Jerry Jones……you really don’t have the slightest idea of what you are doing. Jerry Jones is officially the new Al Davis.
32. Baltimore Ravens: MATT ELAM S FLORIDA GRADE: A++++
Theme of the night………the rich get richer and the crappy teams need new decision makers. Great pick and a great fit for the Ravens.
