Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Let the Big 10 Lust-Fest Begin.

We at S&G recently picked-up the Sports Illustrated SEC preview issue. We are certain this is a regional release because there is no way SI would publish an article about the SEC titled "Dominant as Ever" because white trash Ohio-wide would cancel their subscriptions if they saw such an article. The magazine gives a decent breakdown of each team, an all-SEC team that we agree with for the most part, and the joy of multiple covers to choose from (naturally we went with the Ealy cover). However, SI like all Yankee dominated news outlets also takes a shot at the SEC and all of we poor, redneck, racist, in-breeders in the South.

SI tells how the Bama fan base hounded the defeated Texas Longhorns off the Rose Bowl field with the haunting chant of S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!
SI tells us that a year earlier in Miami the Navajo Bomber, Big Chief Chicken Bones and his Sooners were ushered out of the Orange Bowl to the same chant by Gator Nation. Each of the two years before that it was media darling Ohio St. who departed the Sugar and Fiesta fields to this chant echoed by Cajuns and Pan-Handlers.
SI asks "Why such fierce regional pride"---The answer they give us---"Southern Exceptionalism" or the belief that being Southern makes you superior to other people from other regions or the country and the world. SI then quotes this guy: University of Oklahoma professor William Savage. Savage graduated from South Carolina before becoming an esteemed intellectual at the wanna be Southern State's flagship school. Savage goes on to explain how Southerners are inferior people who are so aware of their inferiority that they channel all their time, money, and efforts into desperate attempts to win at meaningless things like football. To sum it up we are so obsessed with being defeated in the War of Northern Aggression that we only care about football as a way to cope with our feelings of inferiority, white guilt, our desire to inbreed, and our overwhelming ignorance and stupidity. Great job Dr. Savage I am sure your liberal elite northeastern professor buddies and Jim Delaney applaud your effort. Here are a few problems with your Civil War loss-racism-ignorance of the South theory.
1. All 12 SEC schools have their fair share of black fans who also chanted (and will again this year) S-E-C-- and who we are pretty sure take a great deal of satisfaction in the end result of Mr. Lincoln's War.
2. When you classify an entire group of people into a pre-conceived notion of how they will think and act would that not be racism Dr. Savage? It would be like me writing an article about Black Criminalism or Hispanic Manual-laborism.
3. If the South is the only place pre-occupied with expelling their inferiority complexes by winning at football then why all the expansion talk, why the PAC-10 New York media tour, why the Big Tenlevinie expansion, why not just have the rest of the country focus on being really good at soccer? After all the rest of the country is so cosmopolitan and sophisticated like our European brethren why not just leave "American Football" to we brutes and focus on what the rest of the non-racist, educated, sophisticates of the world call football.

Brace yourself for 6 months of how Ohio State will win the National Title (if they survive Wisconsin) trust us it will be different this time we really really mean it because we have super tough dudes on Defense, we mean white suburbs of Ohio tough, that are not slower than the SEC ---guys like this:
His dad was Animal of the Road Warriors so I guess that makes the SEC the Four Horsemen because Natch, Arn, Olie, and Tulley dominated 1980's pro wrestling.

Look at this guy. Who would use a top ten pick on him? Only one GM is that bad.
You ran what QB Legend out of town and drafted this guy?
Ohio St. Linebackers either miss as seen above or
Get the LeGarrett Blount treatment as seen above. Barbie Carpenter now with the Rams because Jerry Jones (of Arkansas) hates the weak.
Be it Ohio St., or Wisconsin, or any other team they will break at the feet of the SEC champion like so many waves against a cliff.
SLIVE, What is best in Life?
Slive: To crush the Big Ten, to see it driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of its ugly yankee women! MUUUUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
In honor of Dr. Savage we think an article comparing all things delightfully Southern to all things disgustingly Yankee may be in order.

1 comment:

  1. Great response! Seems to me like Savage is the one with the inferiority complex in the fact that he seems to think denigrating his fellow Southerners is the only way to gain acceptance with his Northern counterparts. Typical liberal.