Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Monday, November 29, 2010

Vandy Needs a New HC...Anyone....Anyone.....

Here is who Vandy will want and who Vandy may have to settle for:

1. Gus Malzahn- OC Auburn
Vandy may look to a coordinator before going the route of a current HC because lets be honest what job is worse than Vandy. Malzahn is an opportunist so he will carefully look at this thing but only if Auburn gets blistered by Newton-gate. If you can get Vandy to schedule 4 cupcakes (which is sorta hard because there may not be four programs in the country that Vandy is a sure thing over) then you only need to steal 2 of 8 games to get bowl eligible. If Malzahn were to be there 4 years and get into a bowl in at least 2 of those years he could land a bigger job. Chances he would take the job 40%.

2. Ken Niumatalolo- HC Navy
Vandy needs a gimmick because lets be honest they ain't gonna win by just lining their athletes up across from SEC competition. Vandy could run the triple option flex-boner just like Dusty Rhodes unwashed cousin does in Atlanta. They still probably won't win many games but they would be good for about 500 yards of total offense against the Dawgs ever year. Chances he takes the job 30%, he can probably hold out for something better.


3. Mike Leach- HC of Awesomeness
Even nerdy kids are due to accomplish one very cool thing in their life just look at Bill Gates. Are you tired of being picked on at the SEC playground Vandy? Then do something about it...something that says hey we have balls too you know....Hire Leach. Leach may take the job because:
a) A commodore is like a really rich sorta nerdy Pirate, and
b) See Malzahn above (two years of bowl eligibility would remind the other big schools that Leach has still got it and by it we mean a love of slinging the ball around and baggin and taggin chunky gals).
Chances he takes the job 50% his main concern is that with no Athletic Dept there may not be enough closet space.


4. Tummy Bowden- Sittin on his couch at home and poutin' cause Clempsun was real mean to him
When you put more emphasis on stupid crap like academics then when it comes to important stuff like football you have to take what you can get. Chances he would take the job 100,000,000%.





5 comments:

  1. Please, Please, Please pick Mike Bobo

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  2. If half of what they allege about Auburn is true, wouldn't any coach from there be radioactive until proven to be oblivious to the ongoing activity.

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  3. Anon

    I think that somewhat amazingly most of the coaches will get out of this thing. It seems more like it was the Board and AD. If a coach does go down over this it will be Chizik. If you surf around a little today you will see that Malzahn is being reported as Vandy's top choice on a number of sites.

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  4. I don't see Malzahn making Chizik's (Iowa St) mistake of joining a team with such a history of fail in football.

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  5. -Otto

    Agreed Vandy is a risk no matter how you look at it but with that risk would come great reward if he could pull off a couple of bowl trips

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