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Friday, December 31, 2010

What More Evidence Do You Need?

EPIC FAILURE
FAILURE OF GRANDIOSE PROPORTIONS
FAILURE OF AN INCONCEIVABLE MAGNITUDE
SORRY
WORTHLESS

These are just a few words that will always come to mind when anyone mentions the 2010 UGA Football season.

We can't wait for the Richt-O-Philes to spin this one. Bobo couldn't even dial up 1 touchdown against UCF.

The University of Georgia, the flagship school of the 4th largest talent producing state in the country, a member of the SEC, a traditional football power was just defeated by a team that recruits Vanderbilt's sloppy seconds.

This season was an abortion.

Everyone from the Head Coach to the assistant equipment manager should be ashamed. If they had any dignity they would all resign and go into the real estate business.

Someone with some sense in a leadership role please step forward and fire Richt. Fire him tomorrow and offer Gary Patterson $3.5 million a year to come in and rebuild this out of control shit pile we call a football program.

Mark Richt is Garbage!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas Bowling

We hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah. Since time is short, we've got family to ignore and money to make, we'll be quick with the picks. Yeah, I know we struggled calling Louisville/Southern Miss, and Utah/Boise, but we did get the under in Boise, although the Utes couldn't catch to save their day, and da Ville showed why Vegas makes their money by drilling the spread and hitting the o/u within 2 points. Tip of the hat to bodog and google imagesearch for the spreads and pics.



San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - San Diego St (-3) vs. Navy (o/u 59) - tonight at 8 pm on ESPN
A home game of sorts for both squads, with the Aztecs playing in their stadium and Navy playing in a town with a massive naval base. This game will also be strength against strength, with the Navy option dominating the ground and San Diego St having a strong run D, with a coach who knows how to stop that attack (control inside the tackles and stop the B back). We think this will be another Vegas special, coming scarily close to hitting both the spread and over under. But we'll take Navy for the win.


Hawaii Bowl - Hawaii (-10) vs. Tulsa (o/u 74) - 8 pm, Christmas Eve on ESPN
A matchup of former WAC schools, in different stages of rebounding from the loss of an offensive innovator. June Jones left Hawaii two years ago, and their passing attack is finally back clicking and leading the team to success. Tulsa struggled without Guz Malzahn last year, but put the scoreboard back to work this year averaging almost 40 points per this year. We aren't going to pretend to know a thing about either school, except both score a lot of points. We'll take Hawaii, if only because their at home.

Little Caesar's Bowl - Toledo (-1 1/2) vs. Florida International (o/u -56) - Sunday the 26th at 8:30 on ESPN
Anyone else surprised Little Caeser's hasn't come up with some disgusting mix of dough, tomato juice, cheese and meat in a Pizza Bowl to cross promote with the Little Caeser's Pizza Bowl? Another contest between two teams we don't know a thing about. Toledo is an Ohio team though, going against a southern football team in a bowl. Yeah, we've seen this before. While it's been a slow build for Florida International under former Miami assistant Mario Cristobal, we think they'll pull off the upset over Toledo. Take them and the points, and feel comfortable knowing teams from Ohio can't win bowls games against teams who reside below the Mason Dixon line.

Merry Christmas everyone, we'll see you again Monday.




Wednesday, December 22, 2010

All We Want For Christmas is a NT!

The official reviews on Toddy Grahmas are starting to roll in and well lets just say they aren't terribly flattering. Now all the Disney Dawgs and Richt-O-Philes have once again thrown all their hopes into one basket. This time the basket is a NT. We at S&G are not quite sure how a NT is going to help everyone learn how to tackle but this is the newest excuse as to why CMR and his staff can't bring Georgia to the National Prominence that they should.
Remember last year when it wasn't Richt's fault because our D-coordinator was Willie "Football AIDS" Martinez. Well... we got Magic Johnson on the phone and got the cure only to find out that $750K per year gives you about the same thing.
Now the Richt-o-Philes will naturally charge our position with crap like:
"You knew the transition to the 3-4 would take time"
"We don't have the right players yet"
"I for one will back Mark Richt no matter what even if he were funneling money to Osama Bin Laden because I'm sure he has a good reason. I mean Mark Richt has such an omnipotent view of the world that if he is supporting radical Islamic terrorists it must be because that is what is best."
If we do land the ever elusive, fix all our problems, vindicate CMR, and shut this blog up, JUCO NT we hope he has spectacular Man-Tits. Man chestesticles.....the one missing ingredient to a National Championship team!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So if talent isn't the problem, what is?

http://espn.go.com/blog/ncfnation/post/_/id/35769/georgia-leads-way-with-pro-all-americans

Georgia is apparently loaded with talent right now. Among the best pro prospects at WR, two OL, a OLB, and P. According to Pro Football Weekly, we have more elite pro prospects than the rest of the SEC combined (Glenn, Green, Boling, Butler, and Houston for Georgia makes 4, the rest of the SEC had Marcel Dareus, Patrick Peterson, and Mike Pouncey). Argument aside (because having two OL on there when our OL was a major problem is begging for an argument), it's pretty clear that this year's 6-6 record wasn't because of a lack of talent. It's 4 juniors and a senior, so it's not that our talent is too young either. It isn't a freshman QB, because Aaron Murray had a terrific season and was significantly better than 2009's 5th year senior starter. Maybe it was personnel on defense ill suited right now for the 3-4 (specifically an undersized DL that failed miserably to control the line of scrimmage), and the staff is targetting a 3-4 Nose in JUCO John Jenkins that hopefully is an immediate fix there.

So if it's not talent, and it's not youth, what could possibly be the problem? We're stumped too, Coach.


Georgia knee caps itself, again...

T Kyle King has a great article up on recently released numbers for failed drug tests. We've already touched on ways Georgia voluntarily weakens itself compared to the competitors in terms of scholarship usage. Now comes out reports that Georgia again puts itself in a disadvantage to its' competition in terms of substance abuse. Now, we here at Sports and Grits will agree with the overall idea that drugs, drugs are bad.


But compared to our SEC competition, Georgia is one of probably 3 schools who suspend on a first failed drug test (we'll assume Vandy does). And of the others, one is a guess, doesn't have an athletic department, and is a lifelong cellar dwellar, while the other views football as a month long distraction between the end of horse season and beginning of basketball season. No one in the Big We Can't Count suspends on the first failed drug test (except perhaps Northwestern, who was unreported). And no one out in the Hippie 10 does either (as you could guess from the Pac 12's new official mascot).

In fact, just two other schools we'd consider top programs have such a strict policy, Virginia Tech and Miami (and Miami may change soon with Randy Shannon out). As fanhouse notes Urban Meyer has been as strict on the 4th (half season) and 5th violation (dismissal) as Mark Richt on the 2nd and 3rd failed tests, and even that is somewhat questionable with examples like Percy Harvey and former DT Marcus Thomas being dismissed, then let back on the team for some big games, and dismissed again.

After numerous DUIs and other alcohol problems, combined with a school wide policy against underage drinking violations, Georgia is already in a much tougher spot regarding alcohol problems than its SEC brethren. Now, we are much tougher against drugs too. While we are admirably taking the high road on some of these issues such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and scholarship abuse, Georgia is once again putting itself at a competitive disadvantage against the rest of the SEC. Simply put, Mark Richt just doesn't want it as bad as his peers.

We'll close with a question for the Sports and Grits community: Is Georgia doing the right thing with it's stance on drug and alcohol use, or should we hope McGarity brings a Florida type leniency on this issue?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Crabcakes and Football. That Is What Maryland Does


'Lo, I looked and beheld a Pirate in the distance, and his countenance was fierce. Lo, I rent my robe asunder and sprinkled sack ash upon my head for the destruction of my people was at hand!"

We found this ACC prophecy buried deep beneath Tillman Hall in Clempsun. It appears to foretell of the event of this past weekend. MIKE LEACH IS BACK, BABY!

One had to assume that it was only a matter of time before someone in the ACC decided "Hey this conference sucks. Why don't we just get pretty good and then get an automatic BCS bid every year?" Maryland however, has decided that not only do they want to be sorta good they also want to rape everyone in the ACC. Naturally we can't wait to see the look of total confusion and despair on Paul "Big Ungin" Johnson and Al Gruel's faces as Leach rings up 50 on em'.
This is how every Maryland GT game will go from now on:
1st quarter
14:56 TD Maryland 63yrd TD pass
10:53 GT Punt
10:50 TD Maryland 84yrd TD pass
7:31 FG GT
6:59 TD Maryland 42 yrd TD pass
1:06 TD GT 1 yrd run
2nd quarter
14:24 TD Maryland 34 yrd TD pass
8:42 FG GT
8:00 TD Maryland 57 yrd TD pass
2:12 TD GT 1 yrd run
1:10 TD Maryland 24 yrd TD pass
3rd quarter
7:35 FG GT
6:30 TD Maryland 31 yrd TD pass
:45 TD GT 1 yrd run
4th quarter
14:45 TD Maryland 19 yrd TD pass
8:40 Punt GT
8:30 TD Maryland 78 yrd TD pass
2:45 TD GT 1 yrd run
2:35 TD Maryland 61 yrd TD pass
So who are the big winner and losers?
WINNERS
1. Maryland- They are about to become a National Power (especially if they are able to lure Bud Foster from VT to coach the D).
2. Leach- Pirates are prone to scurvy and the best way to fight scurvy is with citrus fruits. The ACC champ typically goes to the Orange Bowl...Scurvy problem solved.
3. College Football Fans- College Football is just better with Leach.
4. Georgia Fans- Mostly due to the sorrow of Techies.
5. Gamecock Fans- Mostly due to the sorrow of Clempsun fans.
6.Medical Science-Leach may now continue to make great strides in his concussion cure research. He was so close at Texas Tech.
LOSERS
1. Miami- Had a chance to hire Leach but took some other guy that they will fire in five years; oh also Leach will remember they passed on him......can you say run it up for style points?
2. Frank Beamer- Bout to have his cupboard raided-Pirate Style.
3. DC area Fat Girls- They are all about to get called out for their BS.
4. ESPN- They have spent the past two days pretending that this is not happening. They are currently looking at slander and liable charges filed by Leach for what Leach believed to be a character assassination attempt.
PUSH
1. The ACC- They are about to get a perennial National Power but the other 11 schools are about to bend over and grab them ankles.
2. DC Area Media- They won' t get much access during the week but oh my the pay-off they will get in the post game pressers.

Why again can we not have a college football playoff?

All the tradition and pagentry and history of bowl games just can't be diminished by a playoff, can it? Or whatever bs excuse they come up with to cover the fact that schools rake in huge money on an "amateur" sport. Tuesday and Wednesday night give us a pair of historic laden bowls, with the Sports and Grits picks guaranteed* to make you money below. Come on guy, you want to make money right, it's time to take all that year of football knowledge you worked hard to get pay off with a big holiday bonus. And Mr. Sanchez, he makes you money friend. 2-1 so far, time to make it 4-1. As always, lines courtesy of bodog.com, and pictures courtesy of me spending 2 minutes doing a google image search.



St. Petersburg Bowl - Tuesday at 8 on ESPN - Louisville (-3) vs. Southern Miss (o/u 57)
Beautiful Tampa Bay. Isn't it lovely? What you expected me to make a comment about Ybor City, well then cross the damn Bay from craptastic St. Pete and the ugliness that is Tropicana Field (i.e. the second worst stadium in MLB, and the second worst baseball stadium in Florida). But it's historic to play football on a baseball field, so we can play in one direction like the Big We Can't Count, or see punts hit ceiling wires. Both teams are usually some of the better mid major teams around, capable of pulling an upset over a major conference foe every couple years. Charlie Strong and Larry Fedora are both solid coaches, and it should be a close, late-decided game. Take the under, because Louisville has QB issues. If you have to pick a side, we'll go with Louisville out of respect for Charlie Strong and his history of SEC defensive dominance, plus a big homecoming from Louisville TB and Lakeland native Bilal Powell.



Las Vegas Bowl - Wednesday at 8 on ESPN -Boise St (-17 1/2) vs. Utah (o/u 61)
If you haven't noticed, we don't care to repeat the corporate sponsors of bowls because we're all about the people around here (except for the most craptastic, like the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl, or the ones that are so putrid they never had a name). But that's neither here nor there. We're in Vegas baby, and honestly shouldn't almost all bowls be played in Vegas. It's the perfect spot for every vacation, family or for those in search of debauchery. Las Vegas is everything, for everyone, just like you dreamed. [Paid for by the Las Vegas Tourism Bureau]

Now back to the game. Boise is a HUGE favorite over the Utes (What is a Ute?), and cosidering how Utah wet the bed vs. TCU, that's understandable. But then everyone crumbles when pitted against the awesomeness of Gary Patterson and Dick Bumpas. Both teams score big, so the over looks obvious. But that's a sucker bet, and Vegas loves it when a number looks too low to be true. Those teams need 30 a piece? Easy right. It won't be. This'll probably be another under. But we're calling Utah as the pick here. Why, because Kyle Whittingham has never lost a bowl game. We're simple folk like that. Boise's big time, but they blew their wad on a national championship every talking empty head told them they were in line for. They'll be disappointed to be playing in a non-BCS bowl (something Chris Peterson is 0-2 in by the way, with his only bowl victories coming in the Fiesta), and Utah will be looking for redemption. Give me the Utes, I mean Youths, and the points. If you're feeling frisky, maybe even forgo the points and hit big with Utah to win on the money line.

So that's your calls, take the under Tuesday, and the non-Mormon Mormons Wednesday. I'll be by to take my cut of your winnings Thursday.





* guarantee is not guaranteed and the authors of this post are horrible gamblers whose advice should be taken as the wrong thing to do

Saturday, December 18, 2010

For those of you who love to give bookies money...

and I'm sure those bookmakers appreciate it as the holiday season is upon us, and they have families too.

But here is the Sports and Grits advice for those who simply have to have the juices flowing today (all lines are from bodog.com).
@ 2:00pm eastern, BYU (-11 1/2) vs. UTEP

Wahoo! Did ya miss college football, well to get you back in the spirit here comes a pair of 6-6 teams, one from the Mountain West and the other from Conference USA. Who says we need a D-1 college football team needs a playoff? Who cares if you're the only level of football deciding your champion this way when we can have the pagentry and tradition of two 6-6 teams from crap conferences playing in scenic Albuquerque? While we'd rather spend all day shopping with the wifey than watch this fecal festival, we did tell you we're going make a pick here. Well, we're going with BYU since they are good clean cut mormon boys (and thanks to missions generally have 28 yr old men along the lines) who've been working hard and enjoying clean living, while Mike Price took his UTEP squad to see Ginger Lee at TD's Gold last night.


@ 5:30 Northern Illinois (-1 1/2) vs. Fresno St

It would have been appropriate for coach Jerry Kill to play his final game for Northern Illinois on a field known for killing numerous birds as they crash land into the blue turf thinking it's a lake. But alas, both he and his coordinators are preparing to run roughshod over the Big We Can't Count for Minnesota now. That leaves the awesome moustache of Pat Hill to triumph over the best team in the Land of Lincoln. Take the Bulldogs and the points.



@ 9:00 pm Troy (-2) vs. Ohio

Of course, we're going with the boys from Troy instead of the coach who roofied himself. Why? Because Troy is actually good at football, loaded with players who couldn't academically cut it in the SEC thanks to the esteemed higher education system of the state of Alabama (and their conference allowing partial qualifiers). Ohio, well, we've seen time and again how teams from the Buckeye state fair against teams from the South. But this should be a boom for the city of New Orleans, as drunken fools from Athens (Ohio) and illiterate Alabamans swarm the "home of pirates, drunks, and whores".

Oh, and in the best game of the day, look for Georgia Southern to upset Delaware. Go Eagles!

Friday, December 17, 2010

It Is Christmas Time and Richt Is In The Giving Spirit

Mark Richt is trying to build a Georgia All-Star team this off-season. Currently Richt is in hot pursuit of the following 4 star recruits:

DE -Ray Drew- Thomasville, GA
RB- Isaiah Crowell- Columbus,GA
TE- Jay Rome- Valdosta, GA
ATH- Damian Swann- Atlanta, GA

However, now is not the time to be greedy. CMR wants to make sure that others in the coaching fraternity have adequate talent as well; so MERRY CHRISTMAS to the following:

Merry Christmas Notre Dame how would you like a 4 star DE
Stephon Tuitt DE Monroe,GA

Merry Christmas Tennessee how would you like a 4 star DB, a 4 star LB, and 4 other recruits
Justin Coleman DB Brunswick, GA
A.J. Johnson LB Gainsville, GA

Merry Christmas Alabama how about a 4 star LB and a 4 star DT (it ain't like we need a DT)
Shannon Brown LB Marietta, GA
LaMichael Fanning DT Hamilton, GA

Merry Christmas Georgia Tech how would you like a 4 star LB
Jabari Hunt-Days LB Powder Springs, GA

A special Merry Christmas to South Carolina how would you like 9 Georgia recruits; and Merry Christmas to the following:
Auburn 3 recruits
FSU 2 recruits
Kentucky 5 recruits
Miss St. 1 recruit
N.C. State 1 recruit
So. Fla 3 recruits
V.T. 1 recruit
W.V. 1 recruit
Virginia 1 recruit
Vandy 1 recruit
So. Miss 3 recruits
Maryland 1 recruit
Lousiville 2 recruits
ECU 1 recruit
Clempsun 1 recruit

Now naturally Georgia can't sign everyone, and you just have to cut your losses sometimes when an in-state kids goes to another in-state school. However, the 4 stars going out of state and the sheer total that South Carolina pulls in is inexcusable. Roughly 55-60 Georgia boys going out of state and 10-12 going to Tech.
Merry Christmas everyone don't ever say we never gave you nuthin'.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

We Already Know One Team That Will Be In the 2012 National Title Game

All our problems could be fixed.
Arrests, missing on recruits, turrible defensive play, a lack of intensity, never beating Florida, being undersized and weak because the S&C program was allowed to decay on top of itself; all could fixed with one fail swoop!

Fire Richt and hire this man.
We bring it up again because we are not alone in thinking that Gary Patterson is the Tits!
TCU is now in the Big East so they will run the table and get an automatic bid into the National Title Game.
We gave Patterson the love yesterday and come to find out Bear Bryant himself called down from Football heaven and ordered Patterson be named a finalist for the Bryant award.When I was a teenager my mother would tell me to do something..........pfft whatever I just ignored her. However, when my Pops said to do something I did it because when an irate grown man yells at kids s*#t gets done. Right now my Mom is coaching the Georgia Bulldogs so no one is listening to her...I mean Richt. Lots of people like it that way, I liked it when Mom was home and my Pops was at work because there were almost no rules. On the other hand nothing got done. I think it is time for Daddy to get home from work and make the kids walk the line.



Here is a day in the life of Gary Patterson:


6:45- Wake up

6:46- Yell at self in mirror, demand that self be more awesome, refuse to hear excuses like "I can't get any awesomer"

7:00- Drop a cannonball sized deuce in the terlit....refuse to flush

7:05- Eat Breakfast

7:06- Yell at Bacon for being delicious

7:07- Stand in garage and yell at his Sherman Tank until it cranks up without a key

7:08- Run over jerk-offs driving their Lance Armstrong bicycles on the road that is supposed to be for cars (and tanks) not bicycles

7:10- Be a Head Coach

12:00- 28oz T-bone- rare- loaded baked potato

12:02- Yell at everyone in Steak House which is accepted as payment for his meal..tip included.

12:15- Be a Head Coach

4:00- Write "I hope you get Aids/Cancer/Bubonic Plague letter" to Mack Brown. (If hired at Georgia this letter would be addressed to Muschamp)

4:10- Yell at recruits until they commit to him.

4:45- Threaten to invade a European Country for "acting all douchie and not being America"

5:00- Receive letter of apology for being douchie and uppity from said country along with a tribute paid in hopes of staving off invasion.

5:02- Accept tribute, wipe butt with apology, and vow to invade anyway

5:05- Delay invasion due to being too busy coaching football.

5:10- Call Mack Brown and threaten to set his children on fire if he doesn't back-off of a recruit that they are both pursuing. (If hired at Georgia this phone call would go to Dooley)

5:30- Go home to his harem of women and demand to be serviced "Genghis Khan style"

7:00- Watch game film

12:00- Bed


Repeat Sunday through Friday which culminates in a win on Saturday.

Dawg Nation-- Prepare to Have Your Mind Blown

GREATNESS!!!!!!


Did you click on the above? Do you know what it is. It is a link to the Leather Helmet which has a link back to us.......oh yeah......was it as good for you as it was for us?

Much love and respect to the Leather Helmet for actually getting the Ol' Boys at S&G. Poo-Poo to "real dawg" who posted about how he never reads us despite knowing all about our recent endeavors in to the world of Microsoft Office paint.

MARK RICHT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is our official, relentless, unabashed baiting of the Richt-O-Philes for the day. Most Dawg fans infected with Richt-O-Philia will talk trash about how they hate everything about our site but here is a list of where y'all fail:

1. Disrespecting our picture of the American Dream Dusty Rhodes "if you will", and Magnum TA, and Jerry the King Lawler before he sold out to the WWF. It ain't great cause it is on our site it was great long before we posted it.

2. Calling us immature. Ha! Our wives tell us that everyday so we automatically tune you out "LALALALALALALALALALAL, we cant hear you!"

3. Talking about how you don't read our site yet you know all the new and awesome details that are on it.


Look at this!

and this!
Who is running this site Michelangelo? It must be cause I sees me sum Art, son!

Big ups to Leather Helmet and ho's down to all the Richt-O-Philes who not only love mediocre football but also have no sense of humor.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Airing of Grievances


The holiday season is upon us and just a few days ago was the annual celebration of Festivus. For those of you not familiar with the Festivus Holiday it includes feats of strength and the airing of grievances. In light of the spirit I felt with the celebration of Festivus around the Festivus pole. I thought I would have myself a Blog Festivus......Dawgy Style.

The airing of grievances...I got a lot of problems with you people, starting with CMR. Why CMR did you pull Toddy Graham to the side and tell him to stop yelling at the players after the ULL game? Why? Why did you not man up in the middle of the year and take play calling duties away from Bobo? Why did you call up Nick Saban after he stomped your #1 ranked team and ask him "How did you do that?"?(allegedly) How on earth can you look so emotionless on the sidelines while you get beaten by South F'in Carolina? How could a team coached by you beat Kentucky this year, but lose to them last year? Why did you whine about the "Dirty" Fairly hits? Why do fans of Georgia football, continue to suppot you?

Happy Festivus.

Muschamp is Already Talking and Trust Us it is Aimed at Georgia

Not only did the South Carolina Gamecocks push us around physically this year; now that Florida has a new HC he is showing the Cocks more respect than the Dawgs. In case you haven't realized it because you were busy offering burnt sacrifice to your Mark Richt Fathead the Gamecocks have leap-frogged us in the SEC East hierarchy.
Most of Muschamps presser yesterday involved enthusiasm and hope but he also took his shots at the Dawgs
So how will the University of Georgia's head coach react? Well since he is 2-8 all time against Flordia over a time span in which Gainesville has now used four different coaches our guess is he will promptly kick off his new relationship with Muschamp by getting beaten by Gator Coach#4.

Florida has hired a cut throat, bombastic defensive guru know for yelling profanities on the field. Which means he is the junior version of the man we most desire in Athens:

OH YEAH I'VE SEEN THAT MUSCHAMP KID HE LIKES TO YELL, RIGHT? WELL GUESS WHAT I INVENTED YELLING AND SWEATING AND I DO BOTH BETTER THAN ANYONE! HE WAS RAISED IN GAINESVILLE, HUH? WELL GUESS WHAT I WILL GO TO GAINESVILLE AND EAT HIS DOG IN FRONT OF HIS KIDS AND WASH IT DOWN WITH THEIR TEARS!

My God just look at this glorious SOB. Look at the rage in his face, the lumberjack forearms, the insatiable desire to crush the will of other men. We would be an unstoppable force of nature should Georgia talent ever be mixed with Patterson's testicular fortitude. Richt-o-Philes will have some ridiculous excuse like "Oh he will never leave TCU now that they are in the Big East" or "That isn't the kind guy we want at Georgia." I can understand have some trepidation about giving a blood thirsty lunatic $3 million a year to run your program but that is why we give this guy $1 million to keep him under control.

Vandy is Getting Desperate and That Could be Bad News for Dooley

With each passing hour the Vanderbilt Commodores go coach-less their situation gets more and more desperate. Here is Mr. SEC's take on the situation
There are a number of things that surprising about this situation:

1. Vandy is throwing around money like Pac-Man Jones at Cheetahs in Hotlanta. Offering Malzahn $21 million for seven years was crazy, but smart people make money. Nobody circles the wagons like Alabama and nobody circles the right answer on the test like Vanderbilt.
2. Apparently they don't teach about contingency plans in advanced nuclear aero-dynamic trigonometric calculus. Vandy put all their eggs in the Malzahn basket and now they are looking at Maryland's coach in waiting, James Franklin.
3. Most shocking of all is the fact that Maryland has a coach in waiting. Although we think that was just a nice way of saying he is the "If Ralphie strokes out after a big salty dinner" coach.
4. We are a few days past the Malzahn jilting and still no coach, heck Colorado found somebody to try and fix that hot ghetto mess, and Vandy ain't as bad as Colorado.
5. Franklin could say no if this continues to drag-out.

If Franklin says no or Vandy isn't comfortable with him then they could get desperate and desperate people make desperate moves..........
MMMMUUUUHHUUUUHUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"Tennessee shall be mine little Dooley!"

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Rare Thing- We Agree with a Florida Fan


We have found some common ground with a Florida fan and it involves the greatness of a one Mike Leach. We have been screaming at Gary Patterson decibels for Vandy to quit being gay and hire Mike Leach and now others agree.

Go over your resumes Vandy...I think you will find the one written in blood to be the most compelling.




Monday, December 13, 2010

Malzahn Now Tells Vandy No?

The Big Ten Network also know as ESPN is reporting that Malzahn has turned down Vandy and their $21 million contract. Malzahn will stay put at Vandy and Florida best to not even think they have the money to win a bidding war with the Barn, son.

This fax, area code Margaritaville and written in the blood of a sacrificial virgin, just came into the Vanderbilt administration office. Attached to it was also a letter inquiring as to the amount of closet space the next Head Coach would be allotted.


Awwwww The Big 10 (that is 12) Gots a New Wogo!

Riviting no? Now I am not as learned as the communists... I mean progressive intellectuals of the Big 10 because my degreez is frum SEC uh schoolin. However, I did pass basic math in the first grade and I know that if you have eleven teams and you add one that are twelve. I also know that if you have twelve and you take away two that are 10. So why not just flip-flop? The Big ten that is eleven could become the Big 12 and the Big 12 could become the Big 10 or "Texas and its Biatches" (Which is our vote).
Also the conference will have a Legends and a Leaders division......really Jim Delaney that is the best you could come up. How about the Slow and White Divisions with Ohio State dominating the Slow and Wisconsin the White.....oh wait y'all let Nebraska in. Well in that case it doesn't matter because Nebraska should dominate the new Big Twelvine.

Muschamp to Florida is Great News for the Bulldogs

Despite the lack of games we had a very busy weekend in college football. Florida and Miami got their new coaches, the Heisman, the SMU 30 for 30, all this added up to a pretty interesting weekend.

Miami hires Al Golden
What???? Who???? Why???? Mike Leach, Dan Mullen, even Tommy Tuberville all would have taken this job why such a reach? Why is it that no ACC school is willing to step up and take this weak conference by the throat? Miami and their administration have decided that irrelevancy is the new way of the U, welcome to our sad little world Miami fans.

Poney Exce$$
Another good documentary by ESPN however, it paled in comparison to the 30 for 30 on the U. I was particularly interested to see how ESPN would handle/coddle the Craig James situation. It came as no surprise that Craig James was portrayed as a victim. Just a good kid who tried to stand up to Ron Meyer and was then maliciously lied to by Meyer. Craig James is the biggest douche bag in the world; first he is a crooked liar who is now- 30 years later pretending he knew nothing, and second he and his son are huge ungrateful faggots who have tried to ruin one of the best coaches in all college football. ESPN also snuck Muntsbooger in the documentary although like every game he calls he knew nothing of the situation and contributed nothing to the commentary. I was just surprised that he didn't ramble on about the Ohio St./Michigan game. ESPN also failed to post a disclaimer that Skip Bayless would be all up in that show. I need a heads-up on that kinda of stuff ESPN; I need to know when you will be showing something that will make me dumber for having watched it. James, Bayless, and Muntsbooger all at once..........we were one Stewart Scott BOOOOYYAAAHHH for being in ESPN hell.
Also, I loved how ESPN blamed some vague unnamed power houses in Michigan and Pennsylvania as the ones who were calling and reporting SMU to the NCAA. Nice move ESPN you failed to tell the truth which is that the University of Texas flexed it's muscle and almost single handedly brought the NCAA investigators into the SMU situation. Way to not offend a University who's fan base is white and affluent which your network's target demographic.

Cammy Cams Get his Heisman Straight Out Da Womb!
He deserved it. End of discussion. He dominated in the best conference in the world. That makes 5 straight National Titles and two consecutive Heisman's (also three Heisman's in four years).

Chris Fowler is a Faggot
Who does Chris Fowler think he is? He said after the ESPN bowl preview show that "Maybe it would be best for college football if a non-SEC team won the title." Go to hell Chris Fowler you and Lee Corso. Also, it appears that Lee Corso is going to be retired....so this is what emancipation feels like? However, ESPN could always replace him with Skip Bayless. I hate the entire anti-SEC pro-Big Tenlevinie Gameday crew. Herbie is an Ohio St guy, Desmond a Meechigun man, and Fowler a raging faggot, way to be representative of the entire college football world ESPN. ESPN should fire Howard who sounds like a retard and hire Archie Manning to tell Yankees how much their football sucks in a pronounced Southern accent.

Muschamp to Florida
This could work out but I just don't see it. We do know that he will beat Georgia so long as we continue to hold onto the sinking ship that is Richt. On the other hand I am confused about Foley hiring Muschamp. Florida is still very talented and their main problem in 2010 was the offensive coordinator so why not bring in Mullen to fix that immediately? What offense is Muschamp going to run? Who will he hire as an O-coord? Malzahn? I don't see that because Gus is either going to be a HC or stay at Auburn. Some people will say "Oh Florida will out bid Auburn." Have you not been paying attention this year? Auburn doesn't get outbid.
This is great for Georgia for two reasons:
1. When Richt is fired next year a lot of Georgia fans would have wanted Muschamp despite his lack of experience. Now he is no longer an option so we can focus on getting an experienced hard core SOB to- as Aaron Murry said-- fix the culture in Athens; and
2. Florida may have left that person on the show room floor. Trust us Dan Mullen is not happy in Starkganistan.
Georgia fans would have wanted this guy for his enthusiasm but what we will really need is these guys


Enthusiasm schmoothiasm you fellers need yelling and nut punching and lots of it stat!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

You are dead to us Will...




For those of you that don't know, Will "Boom Mother Florida" Muschamp is replacing Urban Meyer at the Swamp. You know, we could take you with Auburn, considering the amount of coach/player crossover between the two schools. And then you at least had the decency and intelligence to trade it in for a better shade of orange in Austin. But to swap that for a return to ugly orange and blue, to become a booger eatin' Gator? That sir, is inexcusable.

Hopefully we get another certifiably crazy fraternity fighting mad man (not that Georgia was any more successful against the Zooker either).

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Green Backs and Cam

I am Cam !
Cam I am!
Cam don’t have no greenbacks. Damn!

Did you take them, Cam-I-am?
Did you take
Greenbacks for Cam ?

I did not take them!
Cam-I-am!
I did not take
Greenbacks for Cam .

Did you take them
Here or there?

I would not take them
here or there.
I would not take them
anywhere.
I did not take
Greenbacks for Cam .
I did not take them.
Cam-I-am!

Did you take them
On the Plain?
Did you take them
From Jimmy Rane?

I did not take them
On the Plain.
I did not take them
From Jimmy Rane.
I did not take
Greenbacks for Cam .
I did not take them!
Cam-I-am!

Did you take from
Lowder? Dye?
Or any Auburn alumni?

Not from Lowder.
Not from Dye.
Not from Auburn alumni.
Not from Rane
Or on the Plain.
No dough did Cam-I-am obtain!

I did not take them.
Cam-I-am!
I did not take those greenbacks.
Damn!

You did not take them.
So you say.
But Cecil.
Did he make them pay?

Cecil? Yes! It’s like you say!
Reverend Cecil made them pay!
Reverend Cecil ran the scam.
He passed the plate for Cam-I-am.

He took from Lowder.
And from Dye.
From several Auburn alumni.
He took from Rane
Out on the Plain.
Two hundred thou! Let’s have champagne!

Cecil ran the pay-for-play.
And Cam knew nothing. Zip. No way.
He’s cool with NC double-AA.

I am Cam . Cam I am!
Bring my Heisman.
What a sham.

--not sure where to attribute this to

Insight into major college coaching...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=wojciechowski_gene&id=5903053&sportCat=ncf

Gene Wojciechowski has an excellent interview up from a "heavy hitter" in the college coaching world at a major program. It has an excellent look at the pressures and problems that are in today's college coaching world, from outside influences like agents, to the internal pressure coaches put on themselves due to the massive rise in salaries over the last 20 years.

Some of the highlights are below...

"Money has been a major problem. My first head coaching job I made about $200,000. I worked my way up to a million and more. Yeah, it adds pressure to you. You feel like you've got to be a better coach. It probably should not make any difference what you make monthly. But it does, and guys change. You think, 'I'm paid more so I should give more.' Sometimes you don't have more to give.

"As a coach, you're responsible for a lot of things you can't control. And still, we blame those things on ourselves. Fans come to a game on Saturday, and they have no idea about the issues we have to deal with during the week. I'm not talking about football. I'm talking about agents and runners. You're scared to death about gambling, drugs. Every day you have to deal with that.

...

Sometimes former players will come back, be around the program -- but it'll turn out some of them are runners for agents. It can be a sleazy business.

...

sometimes you just get fed up with things you should be able to control, and other people try to control them for you. It puts more stress on you.

"I'm talking about small decisions on staff, on budgets, on scheduling. But sometimes the power brokers like to handle those things or have input.

...

"I know a lot of coaches are frustrated by the cheating that goes on and by the NCAA. If it were up to me, I'd burn the NCAA rules book and start over. Make it simpler. Make it more bottom-line oriented. If a coach intentionally breaks a rule, do something about it. Quit slapping hands. Bust their hands.

"But the NCAA isn't consistent. It's like it's afraid of lawsuits, of costing itself money.

Foley Loves Petrino, How Dare You Call Him A Man-Whore

Sure he's a huge slut and of course Foley knows that he will eventually sleep with Florida's best friend but he still looks mighty fine to Foley.

However this is all a ruse because Florida has already picked their new Head Coach and it is Dan Mullen. So what if Petrino was heavily considered back in 06 or even last year in 09 that was before Mullen was able to win at Missy State; and before the effects of a Mullenless Florida team had some openly speculating as to who the brains of that operation really was. All the rising Seniors, Juniors, and Sophomores on Offense would have to learn a new system in the off season where as with Mullen they would just improve on what they already know. Heck some of the older Gators were already coached by or recruited by Mullen.

If Petrino were to go to Florida he would be the most hated man in Georgia since General William T. Sherman.

Hey Bobby P. you's a Ho. G's up and Ho's down, son.


Is Florida the Best Job in College Football?

The simple answer to that is--No. However, Florida is at least one of the top three or five jobs in the country. Florida will no doubt get their first choice to replace Meyer and there will be plenty of coaches willing to take the job.

The best job in the country is LSU for a number of reasons:
1. They are the only major program in a top ten talent producing state.
2. The population of Louisiana is not a transient one, unlike Georgia, most people in Louisiana have been there for generations and they are all Tiger fans.
3. They are well positioned in the state of Louisiana geographically and the surrounding state programs do not have geographical advantages over LSU, like Auburn and Alabama with Columbus, Florida and Florida St with south Georgia, or the Carolina schools with Augusta.
4. Not only do they dominate their state but they are also seriously in the hunt for any player in Arkansas or Mississippi.
5. They have pockets of eastern Texas where they are as competitive as any of the Texas schools.
6. They are in the SEC so they play in the premium Conference.
7. They are a football school with a lot of resources and they aren't afraid to sink that money into the football program.

With all of that said we will be shocked if Mullen is not the HC of Florida sooner rather than later. Forget Wittingham, Stoops, Strong, Petrino, Peterson, or Chip Kelly. Mullen can step in with very few ripples in the program's water and he can fix the Gator's main problem which is the offense.

Many speculate that if this happens Malzahn will be Missy State's first choice to replace Mullen. This is a far better option for Malzahn than Vanderbilt as Mullen will be leaving a few groceries in the pantry. Vanderbilt could be soon to find themselves at a cross roads....continue to be irrelevant in the SEC.....or make the call to Key West.

Mullen Has the U-Haul Gassed Up and Headed to Gainsville

The University of Florida will give Charlie Strong a token interview because a) it looks like they aren't a cartel that has the next drug lord already lined-up, and b) they can "interview" a minority candidate. However, this is all for show as Dan is en route from the outhouse capital of the world to the jort capital of the South.

About 30 minutes after the Meyer resignation was official this fax came into the Mississippi State athletic department. The area code was from Key West, Florida and the fax appeared to be written in some kind of blood.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Are you sure it's not just a little gas? You look gassy....


http://www.gatorzone.com/story.php?id=19389

For the second time in two years, Urban Meyer has resigned as head ball coach for the University of Florida. Is he for real this time, or is it just the acid reflux from his Brett Favre disease kicking in again?

Word on the street says Dan Mullen is all ready to leave Starkghanistan and head back to Gainesville. It's doubtful Jeremy Foley will go through another set of missed hits and land on a 3rd choice Zooker candidate again, so considering Mullen's repeated denials of Miami Hurricane overtures, it's all but a matter of time.

Our opinion though, until he actually goes through with it this time, it's just gas. Or maybe he's getting into the Clowney/Crowell hunt, promising to sacrifice his life if they'll just come to Florida. He's really super serial this time guys.


If it's not Mullen though, we've got just the guy
.



Isaiah Crowell is a Must Have for Richt but Bama is Looming

We are all aware of how desperate the need for a mammoth nose tackle is considering that we are to be subjected to another season of Richt-ball in Athens. The one elusive piece that will supposedly fix all our problems on defense is the afore mentioned mammoth DT (or so the Richt-O-Philes tell me) and while that is very important, equally important is Richt landing Crowell. ESPN and Rivals both believe that Georgia is leading the pack that is in hot pursuit of Crowell (and we do mean hot--like Sheriff Buford T. Justice level hot pursuit). Crowell plays for Carver in Columbus, GA which is one of the areas that Georgia has struggled in the past due to the geographic location in respect to the two Alabama schools.





Equally interesting for the SEC is the recruiting of Jadeveon Clowney of South Pointe High in Rock Hill, S.C. Most scouts have him as the number 1 overall player regardless of position. The University of South Carolina is believed to be leading the pack in the recruiting of Clowney. An interesting point about Clowney that our insider in Columbia tells us is that while serving a 12 year sentence for armed robbery, Clowney's father earned the nickname Chilli-Bean. We aren't sure we really want to know how one earns such a nickname while in prison but we do know that his nickname rivals that of the most legendary father in Gamecock history.....Nuggett Mitchell sire of SEC Icon Blake "the LaGrange Snake" Mitchell.


We bring up Clowney seen above for one big reason; he like Crowell has been targeted by Alabama. The best part of the Cam Newton saga was the outrage by Bammeroid Nation. Alabama, the dirtiest program east of Oklahoma, was outraged that Auburn would beat them at their own game...I mean cheat.


Word is that Saban is looking to pull the trigger on his in home visits early (like some time in the next few days) on both Clowney and Crowell. After that others in the Bama program will write checks...we mean continue to recruit these kids before the deadline.




As far as Clowney goes it wouldn't hurt our feelings if he picks Bama over SC but Richt has got to close the deal on Crowell.



Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Mack Brown Could be Awesome but He Will Just Douche Out

When it is cold outside some people reach for a nice cup of hot chocolate or coffee to warm their insides. Here at S&G we prefer the delicious taste of Mack Brown tears, and since Texas is about 1/4 as good as they think they are Mack Daddy tears really aren't hard to find (they certainly aren't the possible non-existent delicacy that say Saban tears would be).

Right now Mack Daddy is looking to replace his OC and names like Gus Malzahn have been bandied about. This is how we know Mack is weak, this is how we know he lacks a killer instinct, this is how we know he is a douche. If he wasn't all these things then Texas would back the money truck up to Key West a do the dang deal.
You can run on for a long time, run on for a long time, run on for a long time
Sonner or later Leach'll cut you down.


Hey if 30 for 30 can copy the True Grit trailer and use God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash then so can we. Could you imagine Leach coming out of the tunnel to that song against Texas Tech....I don't know if the score board would have enough numbers. Leach would make Muschamp look like...well....Mark Richt in comparison to the awesomeness that is the Leach.

Food for thought from Cam Newton...

in the past, I'd always wondered what would keep say a Georgia booster and a Florida St booster from joining forces, where the Georgia booster pays kids who attend FSU, and the FSU guys pays kids for Georgia. For a while, I thought that would be illegal/an NCAA violation, but the Cam Newton stuff makes me no longer think that's the case, with the wording from Mike Slive and the NCAA about how because Cecil solicited from a school his kid DIDN'T attend, did they open a loophole for friendly boosters of non-rival schools?

A partnership between boosters from Georgia and Michigan, Texas and Alabama, Florida and Oklahoma, LSU and Southern Cal, Ole Miss and Illinois, etc? Does the Cam Newton ruling make this sort of "I pay yours while you pay mine" technically allowed?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Breast Firmness Inspector Mettenberger Could Put LSU Over the Top

Soon to be victims...ahhhhemmm friends of Metts
So Mettenberger the fondler, Lester the hat molester, and the American Dream Dusty Rhodes are teaming up to challenge Arn and Ole Anderson as well as Tully Blanchard for their NWA 6-man world tag team titles and play a little feetball.
LSU dominates the talent in Louisiana in a way that we could only dream of controlling Georgia talent. In spite of a mental retard/genius at head coach and the worst SEC QB since Corey Jenkins of Carolina fame LSU is probably the most talented team in the country top to bottom. The problem is of course if you have a certifiable lunatic calling the plays and a Jenkinsesque QB you will have trouble winning all your games in the SEC. If Mettenberger is half as good as we heard he was going to be he could be the crown jewel that Lester has been missing.
Richt is now officially expecting a "very very nice Christmas card from Miles."

If Auburn Got Newton For $250K They Got A Bargin


Cam Newton prison raped the Gamecocks D on Saturday and laid another brick on the wall of one of the all time greatest single seasons in SEC history. So we must beg the question, is Cam for $250 K the best bargain buy of all time? Well if they can't handle Oregon then $250K is about right for an SEC title. However, we suspect that an Auburn team with Cam Newton will destroy Oregon and take the National Title. If the Barn gets their National Title then they got the best bargain since the Dutch bought New Jersey from the Indians for some glass beads and a small pox epidemic.



We will get tons of prudes on here saying "Well I am just glad that my insert program name here didn't pay for their record." Those people are liars because they know good and well that if their team could dish out $250 K and get a National Title in return they would gladly do so.



Marcus Lattimore's Momma, Yolanda Smith talked about how dirty Auburn's recruiting seemed.
Look Yolanda errrrebody done see you up at da game on Satday wit yo tower of power weave, fake jewlery, and bedazzled Lattimore jersy lookin so fresh and so clean as ghetofabuloous as can be. Do you really want to draw attention to the recruiting of your son? Do you really want the NCAA looking into how Auburn recruited your baby? That is gonna lead the NCAA into looking at how Ol' Darth Visor landed Lattimore. Do you really want that Yolanda? Cause dey gone be all bout yo paper den.

Look do I think Auburn is dirty? Absolutely but guess what they were dirty when they got Stephen Davis out of South Carolina, they were dirty when they got Takeo Spikes out of Georgia, and they were dirty when they landed Brown and Williams. Auburn is a dirty program and they have been for years. You want to know something else....with the exception of Vandy everyone in the SEC has done the same thing....and I ain't so sure Vandy hasn't done it before either.

I wonder why no one has asked what Florida had to pay to get Newton in the first place? Maybe the NCAA needs to look into Auburn and Florida on this one. I am just saying I don't think Rev. Cecil Newton just got this idea last year. As for the people asking why Georgia didn't land Newton to begin with, well that is a good question. There are people who will say "He didn't fit our scheme" or as my compadre Mr. Sanchez says "He would have been a TE in Georgia's system." Let me ask you this.... how would he not fit? Was it because he was too good? How could having a bigger, stronger, faster, smarter D.J. Shockley with a better arm not fit Richt's system? To all the Richt-O-Philes out there this is one of the things we are talking about when we talk about recruiting the state of Georgia better. You take Newton away from Auburn and they are basically the same team as Georgia this year, so here is another case of "That could have been us."

Regardless, it is time for all Georgia, Bama, S.C., and all the other SEC fans to quit casting stones (cause trust us ain't nobody in this conference a virgin). It is time to get behind Auburn and support the SEC winning another National Title. Trust us if Oregon wins everyone at ESPN, SI, and all the blogs will declare the SEC a dead conference and it will affect everyone's pre-season ranking next year. Remember you are Southerners for God's sake and that makes you better than everyone else. As hard as it may be to swallow it is time to remember where you come from and pull for Auburn in the Title Game.




Saturday, December 4, 2010

"We looked pretty stupid there on that last play."



Yes, yes you did Steve. And statements like that is why you are the greatest coach in SEC football history.

Oh, and Go Gamecocks!

More of the potential SEC coaching carousel...

http://burton-rabun.com/POINTE/POINTE/The_Pointe.html

Yep, that's Nick Saban's house. For Sale.
Check out his history, and you'll see he's never coached in the same place for more than 5 years. This is the end of his 4th season at the Capstone, and is there any doubt that he's a mercenary up for the highest bidder? Could Jerry Jones be willing to go back to what's brought him the most success (former national champion college coaches in Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer), and preparing to offer Saban a huge raise, possibly nearing $10,000,000 annually once the NFL season is over?

There could be an active coaching carousel in southern football this winter.

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Possible Future Of Georgia Football! Very Exciting

It is just wishful thinking at this point but our last post got us thinking; and well a man can dream can't he.

AWWWWWWWW NAAAWWWW, HELL NAW BOY!!!WE DONE UP AND DONE IT!!!!!!!

Even the most hardened Richt-O-Phile must show respect to this. Don't even try to step to this Microsoft paint job random Anonymous Richt-O-Phile poster, less your s*%$ be ruined.

You can say what you want but you know good and well you will at some point this weekend pull out last years NCAA on your PS3 or X-box and change you offensive scheme from Georgia to Texas Tech just to see how it feels. Trust us it will slide right on in.

We see your averaging 30 + points per game in the home stretch Bobo and raise you infinity.

Six Degrees of Leach- and There Is Still a Chances Richt Gets a Pink Slip

Way back in August I did an article about who is on the hotseat and who would be the hottest coaching prospects for the big schools that were soon to be in need of a HC. The Royal We was actually surprisingly accurate back in the summer and now I want to revisit that with all that has happened and is about to happen.

First we had a list of five coaches that were as good as fired already:

1. Rich Rod- Meechigan
2. Ralph Friedgen- Maryland
3. Dan Hawkins- Colorado
4. Lester Miles- LSU
5. Mike Sherman- Texas A&M

Hawkins has already been canned, and the executioner in Ann Arbor appears to be sharpening his guillotine. Sherman and Friedgen had drastically improved teams and appear to have saved themselves for another year. Lester-Lester the Hat Molester naturally ran a fake field goal of a season, only lost two games despite having no QB, and will hold onto his job.

Second we named three coaches that had to win this season to avoid 2011 being a do or die season for them:

1. Randy Shannon- Da U
2. Bret Bielema- Wisconsin
3. Mark Richt- Georgia

Shannon has already been fired. Bielema got past his always pissing away a game against N'western or Purdue or some other crap team and won 11 games. Bielema will probably get TCU in the Rose Bowl which is a winnable game and would buy him 5 more years in Madison, at least. Richt is about 99% out of the woods this year, and should be back in 2011. The only thing that could happen is highly, highly unlikely and that is a loss to a C-USA team in the Liberty bowl which would no doubt lead to the wheels of the recruiting bus falling off all together. Georgia should destroy their Liberty bowl opponent and delay the inevitable of Richt's firing for another year.

As of right now the following jobs are open (all are HC jobs)

Vanderbilt
Indiana
Colorado
Da U
Minnesota

The following could be open shortly (and all depend on what Meechigan does)

Meechigan
Clempsun
Stanford

Now I know what you are thinking "Which job will Leach get?" His choice is Miami but they are being unreasonable because they appear to lack vision in Coral Gables. Leach has applied for Minnesota but remember he is a Pirate who enjoys the warm Caribbean breezes, and perfectly bronze tanned senoritas, not a Viking. The cold may be the only force of nature capable of stopping the Dread Pirate and his "show up to the party sans pants" passing attack.

Right now Michigan and Miami control the fate of a number of these programs. If Michigan keeps Rich Rod then Clempsun keeps Hey-Dabo and that means that Harbaugh is staying at Stanford. However, if Michigan cuts Rich Rod loose then Clempsun will fire Dabo to hire Rich Rod. One would assume that Michigan will only do this if they know for sure they have Harbaugh. If something happens with the Harbaugh deal then Michigan's contingency plan may very well be Lester the afore mentioned molester of hats. Which would mean that LSU is more that crazy enough to hire......The Dread Pirate Leach! Leach to LSU would mean trouble for the entire SEC especially the Lilliputian monarch of Alabama. Leach with all that coon-ass talent (I am told this is not a racial insult but an expression of Cajun endearment) should scare everyone.

Of course the U could take off their pretty pink panties and hire Leach but that is seeming less and less of an option as the days go by. Most interesting of all the other crappy schools that need a coach is Vanderbilt. If Malzahn turns way Vandy's advances and Leach is jobless after Michigan and Da U make their hires then Leach could be the guy in Nashville. That's right baby just imagine the Marquee at the Grand Ol'Oprey:

One Night Only
Hank Williams Jr.
David Allen Coe
and
Mike Leach

Mike Leach as a presenter at the CMA awards, Mike Leach hocking Bryant Hotdogs, Mike Leach all up in the SEC Media Day's guts.

Of course Patterson or Mullen could take the Miami job, Malzahn the Vanderbilt job, and Leach could be jobless again this year............which would make him available in a post-Richt Georiga world after next season.....think about it.

Depending on What Michigan Does Clempsun Could Have a New Coach

If Michigan fires Rich Rod despite his begging and crying many are speculating as to what ramifications that could have across the college football landscape. We have been hearing this for a couple of weeks from our Clempsun peeps "If Rich Rod gets fired we are going after him."

Here is what the time frame would look like:

Michigan is assured by Harbaugh that he will take the job.
5 minutes later Rodriguez is fired.
30 seconds later Dabo is fired after he should have never been hired in the first place.
5 seconds later Rich Rod gets the Clempsun job.


Fare the well Dabo is was a hell of a ride.

Richt and Gruden Say No--So Who Is Next For the U?

Everyone looking at the situation in Miami has to be saying what the F*@# the answer is right in front of your faces; or just down the road from you living the Pirate life in Key West. Miami's first couple of choices have been safe picks. Richt and Gruden are established coaches that are considered very "professional" by the popular football media. Sure Gruden makes mean faces but he has never done anything out of the ordinary like say invent a cure for concussions that also makes use of excess closet space.

The main force standing between the U and their hiring of the one man who could propel them back into national prominence is ESPN. First, ESPN came out with their 30 for 30 documentary on the U of the 80's and early 90's. Without a doubt this is the first thing that ESPN has ever produced that wasn't a steaming pile of dog turd. The problem is the communist academic administration of the U was horrified by what they saw and want to distance themselves from the reputation that Schnellenberger and Jimmy J worked so hard to establish at Miami. Second, ESPN employees the single biggest douche bag in the history of North American team sports, Craig James. Just this week Mike Wilbon (the second worst black guy that acts white but tries to act black--the first Stewart Scott) on PTI took a shot at the Dread Pirate Leach. If you looked hard enough you could see Craig James standing just off the set giving Wilbon the thumbs-up. Why does ESPN and James hate Leach so much? All he did was step up as the only coach of a major college football team that would allow James' pussy-fart son on his team; tried to give him playing time; and then tried to heal him when he suffered a concussion as a direct side effect of his infected vagina.

If the U were to hire Leach ESPN would go crazy. They would say how the U only cares about winning and they will re-establish there old ways under Leach. If by old ways they mean beating the s#*@ out of other schools then yeah they are right. Donna Shalamalanga-ding-dong won't allow that to happen. Say Miami you have a liberal, academic, female involved in your hiring process.......good luck.

Now the U is considering Dan Mullen which would be a good move and would bring immense pleasure to our friend RebelKev a S&G regular. Outside of Mullen the U is considering:

- Temple's Coach = Failure
- FIU's Coach= Failure
- UCONN's Coach = Failure

The U is also considering Gary Patterson but as we have ordained him the next coach of our beloved Georgia Bulldogs we will pretend like this isn't true "lalalalala we can't hear you lalalala"

Come on Miami get the sand out of your snatches and hire the Dread Pirate Leach, mainly because we want to see him rape Paul "Big Onion" Johnson and Al Grule's abortion that they call a defense every year (or until Notre Dame fires Kelly and hires the Big Onion) .