Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dawg Nation- A Fanbase Divided.

Our boys over at the Leather Helmet had a post yesterday that basically grouped Dawg Nation into three sub-groups. You may note that they quote the Ol' Boys at S&G (and you may also note our steadfast anti-editing policy as there is a glorious typo in our quote--Take that English teachers)



The three groups according to the LH are:

1. Disney Dawgs

2. Fire Richt Firebrands (that's us-that's us weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

3. Pragmatists



Now we loves us some LH but we going to have to respectfully disagree with that assessment. Three groups is far too general and some of our fans will get unfairly groups with others. The truth is Dawg Nation is divided into about a half a dozen groups and some of those even have sub-groups. Here are the six as we see them



1. RICHT-O-PHILES- This is about 15% of Georgia's fan base. Small but militant like Shiite's. If you say anything at all about their prophet they will run up in a Georgia shopping mall with 20 lbs of dyn-O-myite strapped around their torsos and get their jihad on. The infidel can't be converted so they must be destroyed. These people are so infatuated, so devoted, so in love with Mark Richt and his perceived persona that nothing; not a sub 500 season, not a humiliating bowl defeat at the hands of a Conference USA team, not a defense that takes on point like the Titanic taking on water, not an OC who calls 27 pass plays a game and 25 of them are screens, NOTHING can stop their devotion. Now I am not judging Mark Richt's personal life. He may be the same man behind closed doors that he is in the public eye, but the obsession with what may or may not be just a well crafted image is what these people crave. They are basically a cult. Brainwashed into believing in the imaginary truth of the all mightiness of the Richt. Richt-O-Philes are the scientologists of the Bulldog world.



2. DISNEY DAWGS- This is a rather strange breed yet at roughly 25% they one of the largest factions. Now some Disney Dawgs secretly would not miss a seconds sleep if Richt were fired, but to the world they will stick with Richt so long as he is at Georgia. "Everything is way cool dude. Don't get upset. So we lost seven games including Colorado, UCF, Missy St, and South Carolina. So those are historically some of the worst football programs in the world. So what man. Hey at least we have football. At least there is a stadium to go to. Be happy dude it could be worse." Disney Dawgs are like a fat chick at the prom....just real glad to be there and if they have cake..... well that's just a bonus. I'm not sure but if I had to guess I would say roughly 25% of our fan base smokes a lot of pot and that is why we have so many Disney Dawgs. Disney Dawgs are eternal optimists but not necessarily totally devoted to the idea of Richt being the coach. In fact if I had to guess I would say 3 out of 4 want him gone but thinking and talking about it is way too much of a bummer man.



3. Pee-Pee Dawgs- You may be thinking to yourself right now "S&G hates Richt-O-Philes more than anything in the world." Of contraire mo'fraire. Pee-Pee Dawgs are the true bane of our existence. We call them Pee-Pee Dawgs because they are habitual bed wetters, fradie cats, nervous nellies, pussies if you will. "Oooooohhhhhh we can't fire Richt what if the next guy isn't as good"; "Oooohhhh we can't fire Richt what if some other coach rejects us? We can't deal with rejection"; "Ooooohhh we can't fire football AIDS he is Richts friend; what if Richt gets mad; what if we can't find a better DC"; "Oooooohhhh we shouldn't talk bad about Bobo what if we can't find a better OC?" Pee-Pee Dawgs down play the University and hold up ideas like:

-Georgia is not an elite program

-Coaches at teenie tiny schools would never leave them for Georgia

-Florida is just better than us and that is how it is

-10 wins is a lot of wins...sure that means you have 3 or 4 L's but 10 is a lot

-We shouldn't demand greatness that is selfish and unreasonable

Pee-Pee Dawgs are weak and they disgust us. Pee-Pee Dawgs make up about 25% of the fan base and do more to hold this program down than Willie Martinez could have ever dreamed possible. Pee-Pee Dawgs will jump on here and post but only because we have the Anonymous option, other wise they would be way too nervous to rock the boat.



4. Holy Dawgs- Not a religious reference but these are the fans that have a holier than thou attitude about everything. This is about 15% of the fan base. They were like a fullback on a high school team that lost the state championship game, or some guy who was a white walk-on 19th string receiver at Georgia for half a season, or some other thing that they put way more value on than the rest of the world. In light of this important feat of football mastery that they accomplished 15 years ago they are in a much better position to critique things like how the football team is performing and X's and O's. They are in fact gigantic suck-ups but are actually sucking up to no one in particular. They assume that some conversation in which they reprimand some ignorant Georgia cracker for bad mouthing Bobo is taken into account somewhere in Athens. Evidently Richt sends Black Santa Clause (Oh you know who Black Santa is...the black guy with the garbage bag full of really good Georgia stuff and everything except jerseys only costs $5...jerseys cost $10. Yeah that guy.....you know it's stolen but they ain't got no serial numbers on them Nike Georgia hats that he's hocking) to their house on National signing day eve to leave 100% not stolen Georgia goodies under their Georgia tree. Holy Dawgs pretend to love Richt but the second he is fired they will tell you all about everything he did wrong and how the next guy is the best thing since sliced bread.



5. RICHT HATERS- They are about 5%. They have hated him since day 1. Even if he had won a National title they would still hate him for one reason or another. Every fan base has these people. It just so happens they are on the right side of the argument now.



6. COLD BLOODED SAUSAGE MAKERS- If you have never seen the American Dream Dusty Rhodes cut his world famous "Cold Blooded Sausage Maker" promo circa 1985 while in Jim Crockett Promotions then YouTube it and prepare thyself for greatness. This is about 15% of Dawg Nation and the most accurate way to describe your humble servants here at S&G. You see a sausage maker is the only one who knows what goes into the final product (mostly elbows and a-holes). Like Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:18 "with great knowledge comes great sorrow." We are the people who are accepting of what is necessary to see the program in the National Title hunt every year. We want results not empty promises. We want wins not memories of how we almost did this or came real close to doing that. We know that to win you have to:

-Make it Rain like Pac-Man at da club and if need be stab a b*#@h in the parking lot Ray Lewis style. You must come up off that check book to get an elite coach and elite coaching staff

-Sometimes, not always, but sometimes you have to "bend the rules" ever so slightly if you want to land the top recruits. Plus after SMU they will never give the Death Penalty again so what is 2 or 3 years of probation if you have a National Title to show for it?

-You need poor black kids too win. They are more driven to find success via sports than white or hispanic or asian kids. With poor black kids comes some trouble that is just how it is. You have to deal with that trouble but in away that keeps them on the field.

-18 to 22 year old kids are going to drink, fight, and fornicate. Keep the discipline in house and keep it so that they can still play. Naturally Rape and Murder would be the exception to this rule and grounds for dismissal from the team.

- Your S&C coaches should learn these words "Pssssttt, hey gonna be a piss test on the 15th don't f- it up." Of course they should never say it louder than a barely audible whisper and never on any sort of phone or intercom devise, oh and always with a newspaper in front of their mouth.

- You need a strong relationship with local law enforcement. Is it a rule that the Athl. Dept can't donate enough tickets to the police department so as to ensure each officer gets at least 4 tickets to one non-crappy game a year. I think if you or your partner have tickets to the Tennessee game on Sat. you will be less likely to arrest a star player on Thurs. for public drunkenness. Is it a rule that the HC can't host a gala celebration for local law enforcement in which he signs helmets, jerseys, balls, and pictures for friends and family of the officers. That sounds like the University just giving back to the community to me.

- The media needs you, you don't need them. Treat these people like the children that they are. Oh you ran a not so flattering story about a player without the HC's permission? Guess what you are frozen out of all Athl. Department activities and events. Try to write your little story now, son.

In contrast to us the University of Alabama (the most successful program in SEC history) also has two factions and here they are:

Bryant-O-Philes- 100% of the fan base

Cold Blooded Sausage Makers- 100% of the fan base

So two factions with 100% cross over. How we wish that all Dawg Nation had the cohones to make this program all that it could be.

15 comments:

  1. Typical stupid, useless crap. Please go pull for the imaginary team that wins EVERY year.

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  2. Anon

    "Look at me I'm all business, I have no sense of humor, I need an industrial size vat of summer's eve to clean out my crawl space." -Anon @ 5:16pm

    Why are so many humorless douches on this blog and commenting. If you want facts go read the newspaper.

    Stop putting your stupid shit on my awesomeness.

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  3. There is nothing divided about it.

    Forthwith, Mark Richt – just up and quit.

    17 suspensions this year alone
    12 arrests criminal charges this year alone
    Five (5) kicked off the team, just this year alone.
    7 lost games this year alone-unmatched back to 1957, 53 years
    Lost to Florida 8 of 10 years
    Lost 5 ranked teams and now 17-24 all 10 years vs Final AP Poll.
    Lost 1 Top 10 Final AP Poll team & now 3-9 all 10 years
    Lost to 5-7 Colorado and now 10 such losses all 10 years not Top 25 Final AP Poll
    121 arrested / suspended all 10 years now
    Won Fulmer Cup National Championship most arrested in nation this yr
    No recruits
    No Fullback
    Lies from you Mark Richt that you kept Marcus Dowtin out of bowl game, unrelated.
    Lies from you Mark Richt you are the # 4 best coach in all of America – B.S. you are.
    Throwing Aaron Murray under bus for bowl game loss.
    Keeping Mike Bobo.
    Keeping Willie Martinez way too long too.
    Keeping Rodney Garner with no DL and no recruits
    No Tailback at Univ of Ground Attack
    Redshirting Knowshon Moreno
    # 2 Fulmer Cup All-Time – ALL Mark Richt recruits, every single one.
    2 more recruits you want us to let in 2011 kicked off their HS teams.
    # 52 Total Offense all 10 years.
    No Offensive Line.
    No Wide Outs
    No Secondary
    Cannot return kick-offs
    No pressure opposing Quarterbacks
    Shaming The good name of the University every day for 5 solid years Mark Richt.
    Telling us you can put your head on your pillow you are doing it right way.
    Not implementing Game Plan for Liberty Bowl until you even got to Memphis.
    Telling fans we don’t know what we are talking about last year.
    Telling players they should have made TD on 3rd down not complain field goal 1st Drive.
    Basically Mark Richt, I am fed up with it son.
    Not, not 1 more arrest. Go. Just leave. Do the Christian thing, and quit Mark Richt.

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  4. Oh my gawd...it is the American Dream of posts....FRESH BLOOD, FRESH BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. I am shocked - shocked I tell you - that we might disagree.
    BTW what is this editing of which you speak.

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  6. While I do want Richt kept, i actually dont find myself in the Richt-o-phile category..I am not a disney dawg, cause this record is not ok, but im not in any of the other categories.

    I am a minority for sure..which means if you say anything bad about me, its a hate crime.

    Dont agree with ya on everything, but definitely do enjoy reading (most of) your posts.

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  7. I'm not sure about the groups. I think the early success had something to with Van Gorder, Callaway, and Donnan's recruits. The first two understand the game and the Xs & Os. The latter knew a player when he saw one. When Van Gorder left the D slipped each year. After Callaway the O could not take control of a game or make the plays. I've seen Belue's comments on Gardner. I agree with a change in recruiting coordinator. I think he can coach a D line. The D staff is there, but not all the pieces. I think Murray is a player, but the game changer for me if they put the players in front of him begin to start toward the end. He will have the LBs for sure. If Houston comes back, this D should be in the top 15 in almost category. For me the player is Alec Ogletree. Size, speed, saavy. During the season he will force opposing offenses to design their game plan for him. He is not a player, but a game changer.
    The offense has sucked since Callaway left and Bobo took over. I like high scores and constant pressure. Callaway attacked, but not always with high scores. As an OC he was ahead in play calling. He did get into gimmiks and cute stuff. I'm not a big fan of the pro sets. I like the spread.I like the spead of the spread, the way a spread attacks the D, and the way spread outnumbers the D. But this O has to change. Bobo, McClendon, and Lilly are not the guys. Murray is a spread QB. If not why did Mullen recruit him for UF. In 2009 you could see that AU & MSU would be the teams to beat in the West because of the spread. Good HC change with the times. Look at the the strongest teams in D1...they ooperate from the spread. If Bobo stays he needs to change to the spread. Can he and will he? No. If Bobo stays without a top notch RB. Forget it. Bobo does not know how to utilize players in sets and at certain times in a game based on the D. Have you ever noticed why the spread looks over to the sideline for the call and in the pro set it does not. Think about it. Think about 95 yds, 10 mins and 3 pts. Now allow yourself to think what AU, Boise, Oregon, or MSU would do with 10 mins on the clock. Look at their numbers. Sorry, but I've seen the spread for 4 years now. It is the system. This is where I have my issue with CMR. Also have issue with Adams and the prior AD. They did huge damage to CMR. Perhaps not intentionally, but it happened. McGarity looks at UGA from the prism of Florida. Be patient and watch.

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  8. @CC Rider - email me at Leather.Helmet.Blog@gmail.com - I need to discuss something with you.

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  9. Hey peeps that are saying they're not true Dawg fans, I'm a Rebel living in Georgia and know'em. You won't find bigger Dawg fans so the "Go pull for GT" or "Go pull for another team" BS only makes you look like idiots.

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  10. Last Five (5) Years :

    56-9 Ohio State
    56-12 Florida
    61-5 Boise State
    55-10 TCU
    54-15 Oklahoma
    52-16 Virginia Tech
    51-14 Southern California
    50-15 LSU
    50-15 Texas
    50-15 BYU
    49-16 Wisconsin
    49-16 West Virginia
    50-15 Utah
    49-18 Alabama on the field
    48-16 Oregon
    48-19 Missouri
    47-18 Penn State
    46-18 Auburn
    46-22 Hawaii
    45-20 Cincinnati
    45-21 Boston College
    45-20 Texas Tech
    44-21 Georgia Mark Richt last entire 5 years # 23 won/lost # 23

    2 other teams with 44 wins the last 5 years, Navy and Tulsa.

    2 more teams with 43 wins the last 5 years Oklahoma State and Nebraska.

    2 more teams with 42 wins the last 5 years South Florida and Georgia tek.

    All games through tonight 4 January 2011.

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  11. BuLLdawg...please stop wasting space with your long useless posts. We get it! It's the same thing (just like CCRider). Try something new every once in a while.

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  12. Not sure where I fall in those categories. I hate where we are as a football program. Our offense put up huge numbers this year but were SO predictable at all the wrong times. Our defense had slightly better numbers than last year but could not stop the run if there grandmama's life depended on it. Fire Richt??? Ok, probably the right move but we KNOW UGA won't open the purse for an elite coach so we are back to square one with some unproven guy with a bunch of promises....don't we already have that???

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  13. I am a 100% Cold Blooded Sausage Maker and happy as hell to finally find the category I fit in as a Dawg Fan. I am embarrassed by what our program has been allowed to become and believe Mark Richt has lost his ability to coach in big time college football. He refuses to recognize he broke it or hold his assistants accountable for stupid mistakes. If we have any hope of getting any better in 2011, he has to become one of us and decide he will live by what defines a Cold Blooded Sausage Maker. Then it is as simple as a step by step guide...Step 1- FIX, Step 2 -IT and Step3-FIX IT! Sunday after the Boise State game I want the ajc headline to read "IT'S BEEN FIXED! For Gods Sake Mark RIcht FIX IT!

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  14. i want the ten minutes of my life back that i wasted on this blog. pay up bitches.

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  15. This is one of the most awesome blog posts I have ever read.

    I'm not a permanent visitor of this blog.

    Thank you!

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