Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Steve Spurrier Pitches to Isiah Crowell

Isiah: Hey Coach Spurrier. Welcome to Columbus, Georgia. How are you doing?

Spurrier: Hey son. I am fine Thanks for having me. Columbus is a beautiful place. I haven't been able to recruit this part of Georgia since Ray Goof was coach at Georgia.

Isiah: Well it's an honor sir. I appreciate your insistence to come and see me the night before National Signing Day. Coach....you do know that I am signing with the Bulldogs right?

Spurrier: Well son, thats why I came all this way...'cause I just can't see you make the same mistake that Stafford and Moreno made. You can't sign with the Bulldogs. It will be the worst mistake you ever made.

Isiah: But Coach, what do you mean? Stafford was the number one pick and Moreno was a middle first rounder.

Spurrier: Yeah son, they were. But if they would have come to play for Carolina we wold have been challenging the Clingons for interstellar domination by now.

Isiah: What the hell is a Clingon?

Spurrier: I don't know son, I just heard that on ma favorite movie "Wedding Crashers". I think Vince Vaughn is the funniest actor ever...ain't that right Vince?

Vince Vaughn: It sure is Steve. Some might call me the "Spurrier" of comedic acting.

Spurrier: See Isiah, if you come to Carolina...we could certainly whoop the pants off of Mark Richt.....then he will call me the next day and ask me how I did it...(Spurrier chuckles evilishly)...besides he ain't gonna be coaching for long after this year. I'mon make sure uv that. (Spurrier chuckles evilishly again)

Isiah: Wow Coach! I have no idea who this other white guy is...or what a Wedding Crasher is...but you sure are convincing. I am going to sign with Carolina.

Spurrier: Well son, they don't call me "Darth Visor" for nuthin'

COMING TOMORROW - READ DERRICK DOOLEY'S PITCH TO CROWELL

1 comment:

  1. Incorrect Sam, Spurrier doesn't recruit and will be too busy watching some exciting South Carolina woman's hoops before signing day.

    ReplyDelete