Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

If You Want to Know Why We Will Never Have a Play-Off in College Football Then Tune Into Omaha Tonight.

I am not going to name names but somebody is Awesome and

Somebody else is not.

We suspect that the Gamecocks will win tonight in the 43rd inning when a formerly thought extinct Doodoo bird swoops in causing a Florida defender to allow a slow dribbler up the middle to pass into centerfield and then when the centerfielder runs into to pick up the ball a landmine that was tested in Nebraska prior to World War I will suddenly go off killing the centerfielder and allowing Carolina a game winning inside the park home-run. This is Carolina Baseball winning by the skin of their teeth.

Omaha this year is not just all about how great the SEC is it is also a reminder of how bad others are in everything save basketball. The SEC boasts arguable the best program in every sport the entire conference participates in. This years All-SEC championship series will produce the back to back National Titles for the SEC in the least of the three major sports in college athletics.
On the other hand Omaha is also a reminder to the other lesser conferences of the danger of allowing a system in which multiple SEC teams are allowed into a championship play-off.

Since the inception of the BCS in football the SEC has won seven of thirteen titles. However, if their was a play-off from the beginning we would probably be talking a much higher number. Their are six BCS Conferences- SEC, ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big Twelve, PAC-12. If all six were super conferences then you would have six teams- enough for three bowls. The problem is that we have four bowl games so you would need eight teams for the play-off. That means At-Large bids and at-large bids means two SEC schools. Look at the BCS history:

1998-1999: Florida (Orange), Tennessee (Nat.Title)

1999-2000: Bama (Orange), Tennessee (Fiesta)

2001-2002: LSU (Sugar), Florida (Orange)

2006-2007: LSU (Sugar), Florida (Nat. Title)

2007-2008: Georgia (Sugar), LSU (Nat. Title)

2008-2009: Bama (Sugar), Florida (Nat. Title)

2009-2010: Florida (Sugar), Bama (Nat. Title)

2010-2011: Arkansas (Sugar), Auburn (Nat. Title)

Eight of thirteen years we could have had two teams in the play-off and of course in the other five years we would have had one horse in the race. Do you think Bama would have been flat against Utah in the Sugar if a National Title was a stake? What about 01-02 Florida or 06-07 LSU they would have looked pretty good if they knew they were still alive for the Title. In fact of the five consecutive Titles won by the SEC (all except the 10-11 Arkansas) it is highly likely that the title game of a play-off could have been an SEC vs. SEC game. Of course you could always stack the brackets to ensure the SEC played the SEC before the championship game but what if an undefeated Bama beats an undefeated Florida in the SEC title game and Auburn only has one loss with no undefeated BCS buster team-- what then? Three SEC teams in the play-off? Perish the very thought.

I actually have a better plan. Drawing on my ancestry and channeling my inner General Beauregard I propose something very similar to Jim Delaney. Expansion and secession. Let's add six teams to the SEC. That gives us eighteen. Two nine team divisions so each team plays eight divisional opponents, one set opponent from the other division, and a yearly rotation against one other team from the other division. Then a four team play-off to crown the champion. Here is who I propose we add.

North Carolina- They help us in baseball a little but instantly make us dominant in basketball when added with Kentucky. Plus we get that North Carolina T.V. market and that means more dollar bills y'all.

Virginia Tech- They help in the only two real categories that matter- Football and Money. Football cause they are pretty good at it and Money cause we get up in that DC market.

Florida State- They help some in football and baseball but they actually act to prevent dissension within the Florida market. No one cares about Miami they made a bad hire and have crappy facilities. Plus Miami is like 5,000 miles away from everyone else.

Clempsun- They want so badly to be in the SEC and again we want to avoid dissension in the geographic heart of the SEC. They help a little in Football and Baseball but not much. Also, we avoid any more SEC talent being bought......I mean drawn into another conference.

Texas A&M- They fit our demographics, have a huge fan base, and would be a huge slap in the face of Texas. Plus we plant the SEC seed even deeper into Texas which is the last thing the Longhorns want. Oh yeah and that Texas market = Dolla' dolla' bills y'all $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

TCU- Texas again so that means Texas money, plus they are Christian so that fits the Bible Belt, and they bring enormous balls to what is already a balls to the walls conference (of course we mean Patterson balls!).

When Jim Delaney thinks of the vast northern expanse of Yankeeland he thinks leaders and legends. When I think of sweet Bula-land I think of a dashing and debonair people. The two most dashing and debonair people that I can think of are Rhett Butler and Elvis Presley so there are your two divisional names:

Rhett Butler Division

Virginia Tech

North Carolina




South Carolina




Elvis Presley Division




Ole Miss

Missy St,




Texas A&M

This way we can have our champion and the Yanks can have theirs in every sport.

In the end guess which conference will attract the best athletes and send the most into the pros.

1 comment:

  1. Move Over PAC-12's New Record Breaking TV Contract! Left Coast's $3 Billion Deal Just Got Ponged.

    SEC TV Markets after expanding the SEC by the six teams you suggest adding would be totally awesome:

    Rank Metropolitan Market Regions / Areas

    5 Dallas-Ft. Worth

    8 Atlanta

    9 Washington, DC

    10 Houston

    13 Tampa-St. Petersburg

    16 Miami-Ft.Lauderdale

    19 Orlando-Daytona Beach-Melbourne

    24 Charlotte, NC

    27 Raleigh-Durham

    29 Nashville

    36 Greenville-Spartanburg-Asheville-Anderson

    37 San Antonio

    38 West Palm Beach-Ft. Pierce

    40 Birmingham

    43 Norfolk-Portsmouth-Newport News

    46 Greensboro-High Point-Winston-Salem

    47 Jacksonville, FL

    48 Memphis

    49 Austin

    50 Louisville

    53 New Orleans

    56 Little Rock-Pine Bluff

    58 Richmond-Petersburg

    59 Knoxville

    60 Mobile-Pensacola

    62 Ft. Myers-Naples

    63 Lexington

    79 Columbia, SC

    82 Huntsville-Decatur

    84 Shreveport

    86 Chattanooga

    87 Harlingen-Weslaco-Brownsville-McAllen

    90 Jackson, MS

    92 Tri-Cities, TN-NC-VA

    94 Waco-Temple-Bryan

    95 Baton Rouge

    96 Savannah

    98 El Paso

    99 Charleston, SC

    100 Ft. Smith-Fayetteville-Springdale-Rogers

    And that's with three of the new teams not really contributing much to TV market penetration (FSU and Clemson do not bring in any Top 100 markets the SEC does not already have; TCU would bring in Dallas-Fort Worth, but Texas A & M would bring in Dallas-Fort Worth plus a lot more anyway).

    Admitting TCU to the SEC would let us see whether UGA's next coach can win in the SEC any better than its current one [Extreme Sarcasm!]