Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

If it's Modern it's Stupid...If it is Old-School Then it is Better.

One thing about the South is that we move at a more leisurely pace.  In somethings that is not always good but in other things......well its just as it should be.  It means that we are not given to the fickle whims of teenagers, women, small children, and other people who don't really know what they want.  F-A-D is a bad word down here and that is as it should be for the South is the most traditional of all the regions of this land.
If you are about to do, see, or participate in something and it has one of the following descriptive terms:
  • Modern
  • Progressive
  • Contemporary
  • New Age
then you are about to be subjected to some stupid crap.  Let me explain what these terms mean.  They mean you have something that is just fine the way it is. Then some moron goes off to college and some self-important professor douche "challenges" them to think outside of their traditional values.  Then because this moron is weak minded they convince themselves that despite the fact that something ain't broke they are going to fix/change it.  Instead of everyone calling their changes what they are, stupid, they give it one of the aforementioned descriptive terms.
Now this nonsense has been going on for years but not so much in the South.  Here are a few examples of things that have been recently ruined in the South by mouth-breathing Progressives:

Music- Here we have an a) and a b)
a) Church Music- It is Church it is not a rock concert.  Their ain't nothing wrong with "The Old Rugged Cross" so why are we singing this song that no one knows the words too while a quasi-rock band is blaring out their attempt at music.  You are scaring the old people.   
b) Country Music- Almost none of the current diarrhea that flows from Nashville is Country Music.  Taylor Swift, Keith Urban, Rascal Flats, really just about anyone.  Back in the early 90's this garbage was getting produced and people were asking Country Radio to occasionally play this nonsense.  Eventually they conceded and started rotating this crap in.....now Country Radio is nothing but this vomit and you have to have Sirius/XM, and I-Pod, or CD's if you want to hear Country Music.

Rasslin- Wrestling used to come on the Superstation TBS at 7:05 pm Sunday night.  Sure the Yankee brand came on Saturday morning but you can only see an untalented steroid freak "Hulk Out" so many times before you are bored to tears.  Every so often I try to watch on Monday Night and whatever other night the WCW replacement company has their show, but it is just awful.  For example the big star right now is John Cena.  He is a white guy who can't decide if he is a black rapper or a dude that just gradated High School and joined the army.  Plus he wrestles in jorts....IN JORTS!!!! Who in the world still looks at a pair of jorts and doesn't say "I ain't wearing that white trash Florida crap"?  Which brings me to the point that John Cena is basically the worst Florida fan ever imagined.  Needless to say that in his prime the American Dream would have slapped that punk in a sleeper hold and it would have been "Beddie-bye...been Sleepy-Time".

Tattoos- Tattoos do not belong on your neck.

Ball Cap Bills- Straight bills look stupid.  You look like a retard that has never owned a hat before.

Well I could go on but I think you get the gist of it.  Now yesterday we took the non-sense that Nike produced and made it look respectable.  We did this to show that we can be reasonable with people who like this sort of stupid thing. 
Now we would like to unveil the product of our newest business endeavor
Sports and Grits Cold-Blooded Apparel.
In contrast to the Nike Pro Combat we would like to show you our first line....the
S&G Old School Combat Uniforms. 

Old Fashioned 70's style stripes and a little G on the collar, that is as fancy as it gets



A silver helmet if you really want one



Red pants but only with a white jersey


If we allow our traditions in college football to be tampered with then our civilization is beyond repair.  If you let it slide just once you have opened the door.  Compare the above greatness to the below abomination.



7 comments:

  1. I love the hat comment. Our baseball team needs a shorter bus.

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  2. Put the black letters and numbers on our red home jerseys and that's all the "improving" our red shirts and silver britches need.

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  3. Hard to argue with any of these......especially the Rasslin.

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  4. based on the recent posts, i'm guessing that there hasn't been much 'lawyering' going on since the arrival of NCAA Football 2012

    what is it with Georgia lawyers. First, Sonny Seiler brings a radio to the courthouse on saturdays and sneak parts of the game, and now CCrider and Sanchez have gone all 'Franklin and Bash' on us.

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  5. Because you are lousy, with no imagination, with inability to look at or try something new, with nothing but a negative view of a team that you claim to be a fan of, yet you post nothing uplifting worth reading. We all got over the negative manure being strewn 4-5 months ago. Let it rest kids. Your opinion no longer counts nor does it sway opinion. The verbal and bombastic few do not speak for the majority of us. And I doubt that you are alums or have donated a nickel to UGA.

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  6. -Axl

    I feel as if you may be underestimating out multitasking skills.

    -Anon@3:03

    Well, do you feel better now? Can you go home an proudly look your children in the eye and say..."I set some blogger straight today."
    If you had the ability to do anything other than go to a link page and click "Purddy Links" you would see that we are not just negative.

    I can't help the fact that we went 6-7 last year. I can't honestly say that-- not having our best offensive weapon, best pass rusher, best o-lineman, and thinking that a truck load of freshmen no matter how good they are is going to result in a 14-0 season.
    I understand that the King in Israel says "with great knowledge comes great sorrow". If you want a site that is going to lie to you then don't come here. If you want a site that can honestly say we are going to go 14-0 then check out a Bama or LSU blog because one of those two teams really have a shot this year.
    Finally, if you don't get our humor...well that says more about you than us. Thanks for reading us, it really means a lot to us especially the insults:
    We have no imagination.....hmmmmmmm.......seems to me like we create a bunch of stuff every day. Where are the uniforms that you designed? Did you see the ones we did yesterday? How many SEC awards have you created? In fact outside of this riviting post what have you ever done that can possibly rival our creative juices?
    When you use the word "nothing" it indicates that you have read every post we have ever done. However, that can't be right cause we are always posting positive things around here.
    Are we now required to present our tax records for inspection? In that case we will need to see your "Official Fandom Inspector Badge" before we break out our books for you to review.
    Finally, a loss to Central Florida, for any real fan, can not be overcome in 4-5 months. I am sorry that our desire for excellence is not your idea of a true fan, but our idea of someone who is "not" a "real" fan is someone happy with 6-7. Have you ever though of it that way or does that require too much..."Imagination"?

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