Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A little hint for the ladies in our midst
Ladies, here's a little gift from yours truly here at sports and grits. We understand, you dream of beautiful wedding days. Maybe in the fall, when it's not so hot you soak your pretty dress in sweat, and you can have that perfect sunlight to show how gorgeous you are. When the leaves change and it just feels like the right time. A dream fall wedding.
Just stop. Don't do it. From about today, through the end of November, DO NOT SCHEDULE YOUR WEDDING. People will groan and call you a selfish bitch, and you don't want that on your big day, do you? Your new husband will spend as much time worrying about the score as he does anything else, maybe trying to sneak a peak at the score every time, starting every "thank you" conversation at the reception with a "what's the score?", or like my father-in-law, being late to the front because he was too busy listening on a radio in the back, and you don't want that on your big day either, do you? I've got some friends, let's call them Mark and Ashley. They scheduled their wedding last year on Halloween weekend. The best picture from that wedding is everyone crowded around someone's I phone watching the end (thanks to us sucking, attendance was probably double). I've got other friends, let's call them Brian and Beth, who scheduled their wedding for New Year's Eve. They're gamecock fans, and we all know the Chicken Curse is gonna cause an Independence or Liberty Bowl berth for the Chicken Penii, so it's ok. So ladies, it's in your best interest, as well as ours, to NOT schedule a wedding from about the end of August through the end of November. Just don't do it, and we won't have to turn your dreams in to nightmares? Ok, thanks.
This has been a public service announcement by Sports and Grits.