So we are now accused of having a man-crush on Patterson. Honestly, if you lack a sense of humor I could see how you think that of us. We are a humor opinion blog and in the summer lull material can be hard to come by so you have to make due where you can. There are a number people that you will see mentioned here quite a bit because they provide endless comedic material. Mike Leach, Dondrell Pinkins, Dusty Rhodes, and anyone who employees a man named Dick Bumpas who also looks like Sam Elliot.
There are a handful of candidates that I would be most pleased with but the bottom line is a guy like Dan Mullen does not provide a ton of humor fodder. Couple that with our refusal to research or fact check and we just go after the low hanging fruit. Now I will defend Patterson when people say he is garbage for one loss, I will do the same for Dan Mullen after a close loss to Auburn on Saturday. One game does not make or break anyone and I am simply pointing out the flaws in the argument.
I trust McGarity to do what is best so long as it is replacing Richt and his entire staff. In light of that here is as comprehensive a list on candidates as I can think of with the "nitty-gritty" reason why they will or won't get the job.
Cryst, OC Wisconsin: 10% chance we get him. He wouldn't cost a fortune but he has no ties to the SEC. Some see that as a disadvantage but those people have forgotten that Saban came to LSU from Michigan State. We must spend the money we save on a DC and a recruiting upgrade of the Rajun Cajun variety.
Fitzgerald, HC Northwestern: 5% chance we get him. His youth will scare some of our "decision makers" as well as all of the Big Ten encumbrances of Cryst above. He is at his alma mater and may just be more comfortable there.
Holgorsen, HC West Virginia: 15% chance we get him. He looks a little Dude-ish for our decision makers and he is in his first year at WV and may not want to get a Bobby-P slut rep. His start at WV has been rocky at best. An offensive mind that cut his teeth and the dread knee of the sleaziest sleaze of the seven seas.
Holtz, HC South Florida: 40% chance we get him. He would come tomorrow if we asked him and he wouldn't break the bank. He is among the more balanced coaches to consider as he is not "wired" to one side of the ball. His percentage is high because he would take the job, his current job couldn't outbid us, and he is a very safe choice.
Kelly, HC Oregon: 5% chance we get him. He will be on the Notre Dame/Ohio State wish list. We will see him as Dan Mullen without the SEC ties or experience.
Leach, former HC Texas Tech: 1% chance we get him. We wouldn't want the media circus that he will bring. Leach will have to re-enter at a smaller desperate program.
Malzahn, OC Auburn: 20% chance we get him. His refusal of Vanderbilt was a calculated move. However, he is unproven and carries all the encumbrances of a Cryst or Holgorsen on the Defensive side of the ball. At this point he is very risky for the Dawgs because he could be a Spurrier or he could be a David Cutcliff and we can't afford the former.
Meyer, former HC Florida: 1% chance we get him. If he gets back in he will use all his championship good will to take the Notre Dame or Ohio State jobs.....which he will promptly fail at miserably. You can't win up there no matter who you are.
Mullen, HC Missy St.: 80% chance we get him. Deep SEC ties, HC experience, working wonders with very limited resources, a direct tie to McGarity. He is most likely the top choice of both the program and the fan base.
Patterson, HC TCU: 30% chance we get him. He will most likely be around the top of both Notre Dame and Ohio State's lists. I don't know if you saw any of Paterno's interviews this weekend but when he dies shortly after Halloween GP will be at the top of PSU's list as well. TCU is not without resources and couple that with the Big Tenlevinie schools and you could have a bidding war that we will want no part of.
Petersen, HC Boise State: 0% chance we get him. No joke here. He is a Scientologist and we will want no part of devil worshipping at Georgia. You can argue this point with me all you want but you know good an well that I am right.
Rodriguez, former HC Michigan: 1% chance we get him. We will not want any part of the baggage he carries. Also, Michigan has made him look like a failure and places him in the same boat as Leach.
Smart, DC Alabama: 50% chance we get him. He is most likely the second choice at this point. McGarity will only consider him if ALL else fails with Mullen. The mouth-breather portion of our fan base will want him despite his lack of experience and obvious Saban chronie-ism. Recruiting ain't the problem so please don't throw that up. If recruiting was all that matter we would still have Donnan and Orgeron would still be at Ole Miss.
Strong, HC Louisville: 0% chance we get him. Unfortunately, his race coupled with the whiteness of his wife will disqualify him from the beginning, again you know that is true. Sad, but true.
SPORTS AND GRITS-- Expert Bloggery on all things SEC, Southern,and Georgia. Georgia's Number One Outlaw Site. Banned by a Few for Content, Hated by Many for its Realness, Feared by More for its Truth, Respected by All for its Balls. Hardcore Legends of Georgia/Southern Football Bloggery, and Cold-blooded Sausage Makers.
Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage
Also, John Gruden is not a candidate and if you think he is the short bus will be here to pick you up directly.
ReplyDeleteNice write up. I personally don't think you should spend any of your time explaining YOUR blog. I personally dig the unapologetic style. If it's not obvious that you are being a little sarcastic by calling someone a dread pirate and talking about how people yell and have mustaches, then those people don't need to read your blog any further....
ReplyDeleteWell said, son. CMR can go 9-3 and be back next year though.. It's unlikely that happens, but will be fun to watch.
ReplyDeleteMullen is good, but unproven as a HC. Missy St. could go .500 this year or they could run the table. hard to say right now which is more likely.
Oddly enough, I think Muschump going to the swamp lessens the chances we go after Smart - especially if Muschump stumbles this year, as he likely will. The mouth breathers like them both, but also see Smart & Muschump almost as the same guy..
Agreed on your rationale RE Petersen. Not sure I agree on your C. Strong rationale though. I think he'll get no love simply because he reminds too many of the panty pirate..
What "wonders" is Mullen working? Has he really done anything that his two predecessors haven't at this point? Croom finished 3rd in the SEC West a couple of years prior. Sherrill won the West once, and had a rare 10 win season there. Saturday was going to be their statement game, and yet they start out playing about as sloppy as you can. Not the mark of a well-coached and well-prepared team.
ReplyDeleteIf the GA Dawgs like arrogance, go for it! Remember Miami dissed him after his arrogant interview in which he all but claimed to have personally invented football!
ReplyDeletehumor opinion blog, perhaps. however, your whole anti-Richt thing is old and its all you write about. If it happens, it happens. I don't see the need to continuously write about it. Do you have any other opinions about anything else?? Are you able to expound on anything other than the obvious negatives?? It appears not. ANYONE can write about the things you write about. Please add some diversity...It was kind of funny at first and you do make some good points at time. Just very old now. please move on...
ReplyDeleteMullen may not be the sexiest pick but he ran The O when UF was prime time. Of course, they had baby Jesus @ QB so he could be a joke. I think Mullen's D will struggle this year without Manny Diaz @ DC. That's a name that is on the up & up. Would be a serious gamble (i'd give him a 5%, low due to inexperience as a HC) but I see that dude as HC somewhere in the near future. He's not riding the HC's coat tails like Smart is doing. He brings the heat on D.
ReplyDeleteAnon @ 2:46,
ReplyDeletePerhaps you missed EVERY OTHER THING WE PUT UP TODAY, including positivity about an incoming recruit, and a look at the big games left this season. But apparently you have your head shoved so far up your own butt, you can't see the numerous other things we write.
Schools,
ReplyDeleteI don't disagree with you about Diaz, but I think he's gotten another year or two left on the DC stage before someone offers him a head gig.
I dig your humor. I disagree with your opinions, and yet I read. I puked at the loss and applauded the preparation and effort. I cursed the turnovers, and admired the fire. I cheered the passion i saw in the team that was missing since 2005. I was vomiting it ever left. I stayed till the end, I clapped for the players, and scratched my head at the way it all happened.
ReplyDeleteDid I cover it all? Thats how my saturday went.
"Head shoved so far up my butt"? Hmm, yea that must be it. Well said...u seem highly educated. U guys r big into stats so go back and count how many times u have written this same article n the past year Compared to others. And y do y'all have a hard-on for the tcu guy?? How did they do week one?? Hey, can't wait for the next article on y u hate Richt and what crap coach u think will do better. Mullens? What a joke? He made a great call at the goal line last sat. Yea let's get him.
ReplyDelete-Anon 2:46 and again at 4:20
ReplyDeleteWhen the house is on fire you call the fire department until the truck gets there.
We talk about lots of things but when your program is licking the rim of a public toilet because the coach can't get the job done...his firing becomes......shall we say a pressing matter.
Excellent dismissal of two coaches based on one game each. Where was your all knowing judgment after the Colorado or UCF game, hmmmmm????
I also like how all coaches not named Richt are crap. That solidifies your opinion as educated to say the very least.
I'm really tempted to comment on your first paragraph, but I feel as if we'll be circling the wagon for the umpteenth time.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the candidates go:
Chryst: I don't recall hearing much about Chryst prior to last year. Notwithstanding, I'm sure he's a helluva play caller and admire the out-of-the-box selection. While Wisconsin's been a "decent" team, I certainly wonder if this nomination is due to Wisconsin's newly found national recognition. No one was "in love" with the Badgers after Alvarez took the AD job and prior to last year. I don't care if they went 11-1 in his first year, those were Alvarez's kids. Trendy pick or not, kudos on the suggestion.
Fitzgerald: Heck of a coach, makes the most with the talent surrounding the program. He ain't leaving his alma mater anytime soon. He's too B10/blue collar/whatever. Any 8 win season at NW should be considered a success. However, I don't see age being a factor in selection.
Hologersen: Hell if McGarity and Adams acknowledge the Ol' Booze Hound after the Evans/red panties parade.
Holtz: Meh. Where's the wow/awesomeness factor that you guys consistently bitch and moan about? Living off of daddy's name ain't worth crying home about. He's a decent coach, but his track record thus far seems like he's a better fit for Kentucky/Arizona/Baylor. If you believe we need to stoop this low, then so be it.
Kelly: He ain't leaving, absolute no brainer. He's happy where he is, has all the money that Daddy Nike can throw at him, but most importantly...he's at a program that in the eyes of media/popular opinion/himself is in better shape/stature than UGA.
Leach: Agree.
Malzahn: Would seem like a desperation/trendy move. Let's see how this season pans out without Killa Cam.
Meyer: Was this part of your self-dubbed "humor" portion of your blog? I don't care if he coached at our bitter rival, he's grossly overqualified and could have any job he wanted. UGA doesn't make the cut.
Mullen: My pick. The only thing I worry about is his potential rejection. He's as cocky and pompous as his former mentor/snake...yet rightfully so. If he guides Mississippi State to another 9+ win season, I'd be quite impressed if he'd even acknowledge the UGA job. We'd be the laughing freaking stock of the league/universe.
Patterson/Petersen: You and I had a go at this discussion yesterday and I'll skip this one unless you'd like to respond to my latest comments in the "Revised List" blog post.
Rodriguez: If he can't do it at Michigan, he ain't doing it in the SEC.
Smart: While I do believe he's more of a popular/trendy pick, let's be serious for a second. You list Chryst, but don't acknowledge the same situation for him? At least Smart coaches in the best conference, regardless if he's Saban's towel boy. Double standard? Or are you sticking by your guns to purposely incite conversation?
Smart: I see what you're saying, I'm not sure I "get" it and don't really care for an explanation, because it's probably the weakest and most un-factually based "in my opinion" arguments out there.
Final paragraph was meant to say Strong, not Smart.
ReplyDelete- Diff Anon
ReplyDeleteI'll check your comment on the revised list is a minute. we can talk Patterson v. Petersen over there.
On Strong that was just real talk. You may not get that but you can take it to the bank.
On Chryst I want to explain a little. Bielema was an O-line coach when he got the job but Chryst calls the plays. Now if you catch the Badgers they are very very balanced and unpredictable out of a very vanilla run heavy paly action attack. You always have to consider that he will have SEC talent not Big ten talent down here. Bielema is a great recruiter and they really know how to ID O-line talent. I would love a guy who knows how to spot O-linemen.
Feel free to name anyone you think we missed. We named a lot of people and even forgot the Utah coach but we were trying to name anyone and everyone that might get considered.
Different Anon,
ReplyDeleteOn Rich Rod, he wouldn't be my choice for other reasons. He just seems like a bad fit. But not working at Michigan is not a good reason imo. See Chizik at Iowa St where his teams were horrible. Saban at Michigan St was decent but nothing special. Sometimes a fit is better at one place than another. He has a successful offense, even at Michigan, and was extremely successful at West Virginia which is probably a closer fit to an SEC school and recruiting than Michigan. My biggest problem would be his D. I don't care for the 3-3-5, and his teams were awful defensively. But if he say kept Grantham, or handed complete control to quality DCs, I'd give him more consideration than if he wanted to keep the 3-3-5 and bring in Gerg.
Also on Charlie Strong, it's not opinion, it's fact. It's like saying Norm Chow (Asian, mormon) won't get an SEC head coaching job. Right or wrong, and it's probably wrong, those external, immaterial issues will keep him out. He did excellent work for years at South Carolina and Florida, yet no one gave him a shot. That was a big reason why. School presidents don't want to hire a black man with a white wife, and think it can be used against them. Racist? Sure. Stupid? Yeah. But, it's just the truth. There's a reason he had to go to Louisville while Mullen got Miss St and Tennessee went with a career loser. Charlie Strong will never get an SEC head coaching gig, no matter how good of a coach he is and how many games his teams win
ReplyDeleteI also believe that we named Chryst once if not twice before the start of the season. Perhapse that makes us................Cutting Edge?
ReplyDeleteI'll add a few potential coaches, as well as unrealistic fantasy hires (cue your Leach spoof). It's gonna be sparse on explanation as NFL has me consumed at the moment.
ReplyDeleteI've read your response in the other blog, we'll just agree/disagree on the disparity between Patterson/Petersen.
As far as your Chryst spots, it may come as a big surprise but I certainly don't follow this blog on a consistent basis. I just find myself looking for irrelevant conversation as it seems to ease the pain of the current season.
Sanchez, you're still giving/citing/spewing an opinion...there's no legitimate facts or truth in what you've posted. It doesn't matter how strongly you/Rider feel about it. I'm not in denial because the shear idea is morally wrong, there's just no actual weight or merit to it. Point me to the big yellow arrow or the tell all book when you find it. Until then, there's literally no point in circling this wagon, my fingers will just get sore.
Fantasy/Unrealistic:
Al Golden: I'm not sure people realize just how quickly he turned over a non-existent program in Temple. Forget the remarkable turnaround in record, let's just focus on what he had to work with. Limited scholarships, no facilities, and no respect. You wanna talk about a badass? The man oozes class and insanity at the same time. I still chuckle every time I remember him wearing nothing but a dress shirt and tie in 20 degree with sleet just raining down. I believe it was their bowl game. Temple Tough indeed. Unfortunately, he ain't leaving Miami unless Joe Pa croaks. I feel that he's already weathered the worst at Miami...outside another dead hooker or two.
Gruden. Self explanatory. The name, the hilarity, the NFL impact on recruiting.
"Legitimate" Candidates:
Brent Venables: If any coordinator deserves a shot at a big time program (hah) after Muschump, it should be Venables. OU isn't a one trick pony with Stoops. I certainly believe Venables is a big part of that.
Kyle Wittingham: You mentioned him in your last post. Consistent, picks up where Urban Cryer left off.
Steve Marriucci: See below.
Left Field Candidates:
Marc Trestman: Currently coaches in the CFL. Has led the Montreal Alouettes to two Gray Cups in three seasons. NFL journeyman as a OC/QB coach. Does he fit in with the SEC? Probably not. Will he get hired, nope. That's why he's listed here.
Steve Marrucci: Why the hell not? Hell, he should be listed as a legitimate potential candidate. I ain't blaming him for the Lions demise, that's "mostly" on Millen. At any rate, he's got the background and this douchey Godfather swagger. He'd probably impregnate all the underage hussies. I like that. He's been on the short list for the Michigan State, UCLA, and USC job.
Mr. Sanchez,
ReplyDeleteThat tool has cried on several occasions. He thinks the media was tough in Ann Arbor? The fans? If Hoke fails as miserably as Rodriquez, the fans will retreat to their standard response about how epic their program was 63 years ago and how they're still the one of the top 3 winningest programs of all time.
Rich Rod doesn't have the mental stamina to compete in the SEC. He truly wants to win, unfortunately wanting to win and actually winning don't always go hand in hand. I almost felt sorry for him on the sideline, almost.
Citing Saban is rather silly. LSU would not have hired him if records at middle-tier schools were the single deciding factor. Win percentages at average schools are like 40 yard times, incredibly overvalued.
The verdict on Chizik is still out. We have no idea what he's like without Cam/Fairley OR how valuable Malzhan is.
UGA would be crazy to take Michigan's incredibly sloppy seconds.
I like Mooch, and he has college experience having been the head man at either Cal or Stanford making him more realistic than a Trestman or Gruden. I don't think he's leaving TV, or that the powers that be would consider him, but he's interesting and should be on a comprehensive list.
ReplyDeleteAl Golden I don't think should be in the fantasy category. We can pay more than Miami, have better resources, and if the NCAA does more than a couple ticky tack suspensions, he might be looking for the exit immediately.
As for the Strong opinion/fact stuff. Point is, there never will be fact cause univ. presidents aren't exactly gonna outright say they ain't hiring him. I'd agree with you on the morality and idiocy of it, but that doesn't change things. The only "fact" will be time. Either Strong gets an SEC job, or he succeeds wildly at Louisville and beyond, and never gets a shot in the SEC. I'm going with good coach who's never hired by an SEC school. Feel free to disagree.