Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Sunday, September 25, 2011

What Has Clampsun Got To Do To Get a Little Love Here on the Computer Box?

Hey Dabo 1984 is on the phone they want that sweatshirt and calculator watch back.
Everyday I'm Shuffelin'
The title of this post was asked of me by one of my oldest and best friends who just so happens to be a rabid fan of the Clampsun Tiger.....and he ain't even a pig farmer.  So this is for Moxie-baby, a true Granite-villain.

Give Clampsun a little love.  They were staring down the barrel of a three week stretch in which they played the defending National Champs (Auburn), everyone's pick to win the ACC (Florida State), and the team that no one picked to win the ACC but who everyone knows will win the ACC (Virginia Tech).  Two weeks in and HEY DABO has his boys all fired up and undefeated.   
Let this be a cold lesson to all the Richt-o-Philes out there.....College Football is a cruel cruel mistress.  Your beloved, whom you believe to be a God amongst men in terms of coaching football is 2-2.  Yet the above seen freight train full of incompetent and retarded is undefeated this year.  Go figure, huh?
Now chances are you didn't know this--but the ACC is divided into two divisions (chances are you didn't know because it involves ACC football and people care about that in the same way that they care about Pepsi and Burger King--get it--all the second rate stuff).  I suppose I could easily look up the names of the divisions and the teams in each but alas that sounds like research and/or fact checking and y'all know we is a fundamentally opposed to that sorta book learnin' nerdy doins.  So I will just call them the Basketball Division and the Please God Let the SEC Pick us as the 14th Division.  Tonight's win over the artists formally known as the Florida State Bowdens puts Clampsun in the driver's seat of the latter division.  That's right baby Clampsun is now officially the tallest midget at the Little People's Convention.  They can expect a three day weekend of having countless teenie tiny pairs of panties thrown in their general direction.
Of course the BeamerTurkeys, Wake, and BC are still on the schedule so Clampsun can expect drop at least two games before all is said and done.  However, for right now let all the pig farmers, Dodge Ram Pick-ups, and Klansmen descend from those Red Clay Hills of the South Carolina Upstate and enjoy their week of triumph.  It has to feel a lot like 1981 what with your big wins, young coach that everyone else thinks has the brain function of comatose 5 year old, and all the impending recruiting violations you will be dealing with in 3 to 5 years.  Remember SMU didn't get the death penalty for recruiting Texas players they got it for pulling the top players from other States.  Of course I am sure that all the racism, country music, and field parties just have a certain allure that black 5 star recruits from Florida can't resist, right?

Plus, chances are pretty good you will beat the Gamecocks.  Heck, y'all usually do....it's y'alls claim to fame.  The Battle for the Palmetto State or as the rest of the country calls it The Battle of the Delusional Fan Bases.  Here's a sample:
If that is not the prototype Gamecock fan then I don't know what is.

5 comments:

  1. Just like a carowhina fan. They wish Spurrier had just a wee bit of Dabo's enthusiasm!!!

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  2. AWWW Shucks CC, you are such a great big brother! Taking up for Sanchez way to defend her honor there Bud. Portland St....Lou Tech?????

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  3. Anon @ 12:58,
    Spurrier? Yeah, that's a bastion of stoicism on the sideline. Nice joke.

    And 2:05, if Clemson wants to feel they're all big boy now, have fun when the ceiling collapses down again and y'all piss yourselves against ACC foes, again, let alone actually respectable teams. They haven't beaten Georgia in over two decades, yet wanna cry rival and respect? Children, please.

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  4. Sanchez, you are more fun than my old dog Bongo!! I would blow the horn and he would chase his tail....every...single....time! You are in no way ready for the Big Time!!! Geez! what a putz! LOL. How old are you 15, 16???

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  5. that might be the saddest thing i've ever seen

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