Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

What If I Could Promise You Championships? What If A Single Move Could Fix All Our Problems? Would You Be Interested?

What if I could give you a solution to all the problems in Athens.
What if I could give you an answer that would forever remove the feelings of angst that you have going into a game against Mississippi State?
What if I could tell you how to win and win right now?
What if I could show you how to flip the script on the last 20 years of the Georgia-Florida game?
Is that something you would be interested in?

Richt has problems in Athens from arrests, to poor choices of assistants, to medieval strength and conditioning practices.
You are nervous about a home game against an inferior program this Saturday and it is the same feeling you had in week 1, week 2, and even last week (don't lie.....you were a little nervous about Rev. Nutt).
We are not winning right now.  We didn't win last year.  The year before last we didn't win like we are supposed to be winning.
Richt has been decisively whipped by not one, not two, but three different coaches at Florida.
These are all real problems.  What if they could be fixed?

What if they could be fixed and also bolster our programs National profile?
ROP's like to say how crazy everyone would think we are if we fired Richt.....but what if there was an answer that everyone...even your beloved ESPN could not deny?
What if they could be fixed with 0 negative impact on recruiting?  What if they could be fixed while also bolstering recruiting?

Is that something that you would be interested in?

Then why don't we fire Richt and replace him with someone who has a better record than him over the same time span.  That was the old ROP battle cry "Name one person with as good a record as Richt."  Ok we can name someone with a better record at a less advantageous job.
Why don't we replace him with someone that your precious ESPN would have to respect.  After all it was ESPN that conducted the scientific poll that found most college football fans think that the man of which I speak is the best coach in football.....better even than Saban.
 Why don't we get on the phone and pay this man?
But...but....but..but Rider we are too far along with recruiting for the class of 2012!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
Oh, I see.  Kids are gonna want to play for a declining coach as opposed to the coach THAT EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A RICHT-O-PHILE THINKS IS THE BEST COACH IN THE NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is how that would go:

phone rings in a Georgia recruits house
Recruit:  Hello.
GP: SON THIS IS GARY PATTERSON.  I'M THE NEW HEAD COACH AT GEORGIA.  I TRUST WE CAN COUNT ON YOU TO KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO THE UNIVERSITY.
Recruit: Oh....I don't know coach.  I mean.  I sorta committed to Richt and now he's gone.  I kinda thought I could just show up, not work that hard, hear Bible stories, get hugs from coach VH, never be expected to perform in games, get arrested 5 or 10 times and chase tail for 4 years.  You seem like you would work us sorta hard.
GP: I UNDERSTAND SON.  LISTEN DO ME A FAVOR.  LOOK OUT YOUR FRONT WINDOW.......IS THEIR A VEHICLE ON THE STREET IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE?
Recruit: Yes sir.
GP: WHAT KIND?
Recruit: It's a 1972 El Camino Super Sport.  It's black with white racing stripes.  It has been fully restored......My God it's beautiful.
GP: CAN YOU SEE THE DRIVER?
Recruit: Yeah.  He is getting out now.  He is white headed.  He has a tremendous moustache.  He is walking around to the back of the El Camino. He is getting something out of the back.  It's a gas can.  Now he's shaking the can at me.  Wait he is reaching in his pocket.  He just pulled out a book of matches.  Now he is mouthing something at me.  I--AM--GO-ING--TO--BUR-N--YOU-RE---HOUSE----DOWN.  Wait what?  What's going on here.
GP: PUT MUSCHAMP ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!
Recruit: Wait how did you know Coach Muschamp is here.  He had just walked in when you called.
GP: I'M PAID TO KNOW THESE THINGS.  NOW PUT HIM ON.
Muschamp: This is Will Muschamp and I am super-duper tough and I make intense faces and this had better be darn good because I am in the middle of recruiting a player that was a commit to Georgia before they fired Richt.
GP: SHUT THE F-UP BOY!!!!!DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?
Muschamp:  uhhh.....yes sir....I mean...I know now....I didn't when I answered....I mean I would have never ever been so disrespectful to you coach......oh God you have to believe me, please don't hurt me!
GP: STOP CRYING!!!! I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU.  I JUST TOOK THE GEORGIA JOB.  SO GET THE F OUT OF MY RECRUITS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
Muschamp:  Yes sir.  I had no idea sir.  I would have never.
GP: OH AND WILL.......YOU SEE WHO IS IN THE FRONT YARD?
Muschamp: Oh Gawd......not Dick.
GP: YOU KNOW WHAT ROUTE THE GPS SENT HIM ON TO GET THERE?  THE GAINSEVILLE ROUTE.
Muschamp:  OH GOD!!!! MY HOUSE!

18 comments:

  1. Wow that was entertaining. Ok lets be honest you don't expect McGarity to fire Richt and hire Patterson do you. It makes for fun reading though.

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  2. If Richt did get the boot do you think UGA would have a legit shot at hiring Patterson? And if this were to happen who do you think he would bring in as an Offense Coordinator?

    It would be pretty amazing to se what he could do with the talent base at UGA.

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  3. You're such a liar, dude. You can't promise championships with anyone. Every coach that's ever hired at a "big time" program is hired with the expectation that he will bring championships. Rich Rodriguez, who beat a DC at Georgia who's no longer here, was gonna revolutionize the Big Ten a few years ago.

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  4. Preach on brother CC. Only problem is you keep misspelling Peterson's name. You think ESPN would not be singing the praises of that hire to the heavens? You think an offensive player in the country would not be interested in playing in his system?

    The only problem is this hire is so obvious that it will never happen. We will end up getting stuck with someone like the OC at Wisconsin or your beloved Patterson and we will have good years....and bad years....and things will be just like they are

    So sad that a program with so much potential keeps getting wasted on stupid hires and that will likely continue.

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  5. Yeah! Great idea CC! 2 TD wins over sec teams on the road suck, don't they?! Who wants that? We're terrible! {sarcasm here} now before you get all riled up, I know they were a lesser opponent. But they are in conference, and that's what you're supposed to do: beat them! I'm no ROP, but I am a richt fan, and i am an even bigger UGA fan. I want to win more than I want richt to have a job, but good grief, what do you want?!?! Let the season play out, then we can make a judgement on richt and this team. You don't call for new leadership in the middle of the year! Doing so makes you as ignorant as the ROPs! Change for change's sake is just as stupid. Every problem you and other haters have called Richt out on, he has made effort to fix. Defense, kickoffs, arrests, player discipline, strength & conditioning, etc. Now give him and this team the chance to prove they are better! If business owners ran their shops the way you want things run, we would never recover from ANY recession!!

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  6. -Anon @ 3:17

    We actually attacked a journalist that predicted Richt would be fired after the Missy State game in the pre-season. It is never a good move to fire a HC during the season. I think my line was something to the affect of "By not firing Richt after the UCF game Georgia committed to him until at least 5 minutes after the up coming GT game." So I agree that we can't fire him now and I am not calling for him to be fired now.

    I have done two posts in two days called "The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma" In those I give less humor/opinion and attempt to break the situation down not as CCRider but as a reasonable and devoted UGA fan. I think you will find that the options I give there have started with keeping Richt with key changes and will culminate with a list of candidates should Richt fail in the remainder of the season, or refuse what will have to be forced changes by the AD, (it has also been pointed out by a few commentors that he may just walk on his own).
    I understand your points but you have to understand who we are what we do over here. You also have to stop taking things that are obviously over the top to heart (i.e. three paragraphs on Dick Bumpas burning someones house to the ground). Thanks for reading and contributing.

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  7. -CPO Dawg

    I got your OC right here
    http://www.sportsandgrits.com/2010/11/this-should-be-university-of-georgia.html

    and again here

    http://www.sportsandgrits.com/2011/07/patterson-to-georgia-campaign-stop_14.html

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  8. -Anon @ 1:50

    Why would I want to trade Mark Richt 2011 for a Mark Richt 2005 clone?

    Plus I have had enough with skinny coaches. I want someone stout and portly like our mascot.

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  9. Captain America here. You played aling so well what can i say you stole my heart.

    What offense does Patterson use? I'm horn frog illiterate. A solid point is that you need pro style to pull in type of players for actual runs at NC consistently otherwise your spinning your wheels looking for the next Cam or Tebow.

    Bobo gotta go either way.

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  10. Newton, Tebow, Dantzler, Griffith, Young, White, Moore, Brees, Crouch, McCoy, Dixon, Hanmilton, Ward, etc. You know, there's quite a few offenses showing lots of success with spread styles and QBs who can spin those wheels. Quite a few that have been run by QBs produced in Georgia high schools too.

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  11. -Anon @9:07

    Well there is the spread QB option which is what Florida ran with Tebow and Missy State now runs.....however it was introduced to the SEC by Lou Holtz at SC with Donrell "Pankey Drill" Pinkins.

    However, the spread is a hard thing to contain in a single term.
    -Hal Mumme ran a version of the spread at Kentucky under the name "Air Raid" from Leach
    -Intorduced an Air Raid with wide splits on the the O-line so it became much more of a spread.
    -Meyer used the QB option spread at Utah and then Florida
    -Gus Malzahn runs a very different version of the spread that also incorporates a no huddle and is much more like Leach than Meyer or Mullen.
    -Steve Spurrier went to spread formations last year to open up more running lanes for Lattimore. In the end it looked a lot like the Pro-Set.

    At TCU Patterson runs a shotgun spread that is more pass oriented. So sort of like Leach but not quite. However, Patterson would most likely leave his OC behind as HC of the Horniey Toads. Patterson is a defense coach just like Richt is an offense coach. Patterson would hire whoever is the best avaliable to help Georgia win.....We vote Mike Leach who while at Texas Tech ran one of the most run/pass balanced attacks in the country.

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  12. -Captain America

    I feel asleep there and forgot a few sentences. I meant that Leach ran the offense under Mumme at UK and then took it with him when he went to Oklahoma and then Texas Tech.

    As far as Patterson goes I would say he runs a more pass oriented version of the Alabama single back. However, I think Patterson would run whatever he thinks will work based on the talent and the avaliable OC who would become like an assistant head coach overseeing offense.

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  13. I'm not hiring anyone you can't find a reasonably high-definition picture of.

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  14. Yeah......I gotta come right back for one more point on all this.

    You can't think that Tebow and Newton are the same type of players and that the Malzahn Spread is the same thing as the Meyer/Mullen spread. They share the name spread but they are not the same thing at all. Meyer's attack is actually more like the Flexerall Boner that the Big Onion runs in Hotlanta. The Malzahn spread is much more like the Leach Air Raid. Newton is a running QB while Tebow is a throwing full-back. There is a huge difference it the play of each and the offenses in which they thrived in college.

    Now I personally like the Pro-Set but it is not more likely to win than another offense. The Pro Set is the deal in the NFL because while there are mis-matches there exists no real overwhelming speed mis-matches like you find in college. Different attacks works just as well in college because instead of 32 dividing all the talent you have 119 teams dividing it so there are mismatches everywhere.

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  15. -LI

    For some reason (my being a technology retard...which should have dispelled all the early accusations that we were covert GT fans)
    all the pics of him doing crazy stuff are really small and so I just enlarge them. I am sure there is a way to do it and it look clear but that sounds like work.

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  16. Anon 1:50 again:

    That is why UGA sucks CC. Because of people like you and all the other Richtophiles. You dp not care about winning. Just how good the person is. Well I want a Saban. Someone who wants to win and will do what they have to.

    You enjoy your mascot looking loser coach and be happy as an average team. I will expect more.

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  17. -Anon @ 1:50

    Oh I get it you are trying to sound like us only you think you are turning the volume up to 11.

    Well.....Petersen is not the answer, and
    Patterson is a better coach than Saban--oh yeah I said it, and
    The bottom line is we couldn't win a bidding war with Alabama because top to bottom that University cares more about football than anyone else.

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