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Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Georgia Rising- How the Peach State Could Produce the SEC East Champion and the Republican Nominee for President
The big difference between the winner of the SEC East and the Republican Nominee is that the Nominee is almost assured of being President and the East Champ is assured of being slaughtered in the Georgia Dome. To understand Georgia's chances we shall look at the SEC East juxtaposed with the Republican Candidates:
6. Vanderbilt Commodores / Ron Paul: Chances of winning 0%
You are probably thinking "There is just something about Paul that doesn't fit the Republican Party." Well you are correct because Paul is not a Republican he is a Libertarian and the GOP should ask him to exit the primary. You are probably thinking "There is just something about Vanderbilt that doesn't fit the SEC." Well you are correct because Vanderbilt cares about crap like reading and learning and not football. The SEC should ask them to exit the SEC.
5. Kentucky Wildcats / Rick Santorum: Chances of Winning 0%
The three legs of the GOP platform is a) strong national defense b) fiscal conservatism c) social conservatism. Santorum is that guy that has always been around and is always running for office as a Republican but only really knows or cares about social conservatism. Kentucky has always been hanging around the SEC but they really only care about one thing.......here is a hint it ain't football.
4. Tennessee Volunteers / Rick Perry Chances of Winning 10%
Seems polished and prepared especially against non-conference teams. Looks horrible when on the stage with others. Craps the bed against again smarter/more talented opposition. Could have over taken Romney but flubbed it; could have taken Bama to the wire but flubbed it. Will forever be tied to a loathsome racial slur on a rock and a loathsome song about being on top of a rock....we assume the same rock.
3. Herman Cain / South Carolina Gamecocks: Chances of Winning 15%
Trust us they are both just as shocked as we are that they are in this position. Both peaked early and now with no Lattimore and having to explain 9-9-9 both can prepare for a downward spiral.
2. Mitt Romney / Florida Gators: Chances of Winning 28%
They always look good early and there are always people who give them lip service. However, deep down no one really wants them to win because no one really likes them. They are just real Douchie....real, real douchie. They get 28% because no matter who rises and who falls they never really gain any ground. Pulling Alabama, Auburn, and LSU in the same season is almost insurmountable just like....oh I don't know.....Socialized Medicine.
1. Georgia Bulldogs / Newt Gingrich Chances of Winning 35%
Both seemed to be on an unstoppable uptick a few years back but then somehow lost their way. Georgia has limitless resources and recruiting while Newt has limitless intellect and understanding of all aspects of government. Both were left for dead early in the process. Newt lost his entire staff and the Dawgs lost to lowly Boise State. No one thought Newt was really trying and no one though Richt was really trying after the SC game. Then out of the blue everyone else started falling apart. Georgia and Newt could each win a war of attrition. Candidates rise and fall while Romney gains nothing. Florida and SC self destruct with injuries, and suspensions. In the end both may be the best hope of the Republicans and the East. Gingrich would challenge Obama to the Lincoln/Douglas standard, seven debates each three hours with no moderator. Gingrich would intellectually crush Obama. Georgia would challenge (most likely LSU) to four quarters for fifteen minutes each. Georgia would be crushed by LSU.
This leaves an unpredictable 18% that could swing to Cain, Romney, Gingrich just as it could swing to Georgia, Florida, or South Carolina.