Missouri is NOT the South and if You Defend them you are a Scallywag

A Scallywag is a true Southerner who bows to the wishes of the unwashed, mongrel, Yankee trash that moves into the South.  Many of you may live in an area in which there are no Yankees.  You are most fortunate if that is the case.  Yankees are the most horrible type of people in the world.  They are Godless, moraless, mannerless people.  You should not hate them because that ain't very Christian-like.  However, one should never associate with them, speak to them, date/marry them, or treat them as your equal. 


Now we love the Leather Helmet Blog.  We love ECDawg and Socrates.  However, the writer Woot-Dawg.....we have no knowledge of this person.  Woot-Dawg sorta called out your resident Southern Jingoists in an article yesterday.

"Southern Jingoists can complain as they will against Missouri and Maryland; the truth is, though, neither is so non-Southern as Florida, heretofore the biggest and fastest growing SEC state."

This came on the heels of our post over the weekend which per the usual got us removed and rejected by other PC sites.  Now Woot-Dawg gave an excellent article with things like "facts", "figures", "charts", and all sorts of other nerd stuff.  All that nerd stuff makes us think "are we dealing with a Techie?"  That was quickly put to bed because we know the LH Blog would never allow such a person on their site.   So who would use facts and charts to make an argument and is also from Georgia? Who would do that Woot-Dawg? Or should we say



NEWT-DAWG!!!!!

 Mr. Speaker please get back to campaigning in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina and leave the mindless SEC blogging to us.
So Woot-Dawg makes a compelling argument no doubt aimed at our core Evil/Republicaness by evoking Missouri native Rush Limbaugh.  He also makes note of Mark Twain (aka a Poor Yankee Man's Faulkner).  Nice try Woot-Dawg but to place Twain in the same breath as WF is blasphemy!

The gist of Woot's article is to show the skewed concept of population growth, to point out that the growth of the South is pretty much contained to three states, and to say that Florida ain't really the South.  All valid points that we agree with.  South of the trans-Jacksonville/Panhandle region Florida is just a combo of Yankeeland South and Cuba North.  The same is true of Virginia north of Richmond.  Woot bolsters his point with these facts:

"The South as a whole grew by more than 62 Million people since 1950. SEC states accounted for 34.6 Million of that growth, but 27.6 Million of that came from three (current) non-SEC states Texas (17.4 Million, up 225 percent), North Carolina (5.4 Million, up 135 percent), and Virginia (4.7 Million, up 135 percent)."

Now Woot has to understand that we are against all expansion.  That being said if the times they are a changin' can't they at least change the right way?  Look at the above paragraph.....There are three States- Virginia, North Carolina, and Texas.  All three are true Southern States evidenced by their secession, propensity to fry things, and access to Sweet Tea at all eateries (well except for Virginia north of Richmond).  Those three states contain eleven AQ conference teams.  Texas, TXAM, Texas Tech, Baylor, TCU, North Carolina, NCST, Wake, Duke, Virginia, and Virginia Tech.  We only need four teams to go to sixteen team conference.  Texas is a no because they are scared.  So we take AnM, that is the State of Texas.  We offer Virginia Tech because they are good at football and they are around the D.C. media market which is the 9th largest in the country.  If they say no they we just offer Virginia, pump that SEC money up to the Cavs and watch them leave the VT program in the dust.  Then there is the concept that you have to take Duke if you want NC.  So do it.  We execute a hostile takeover of basketball, lock up the three non-SEC Confederate States, add growth, add three top ten TV markets (Dallas, Houston, and D.C.).  Oh we don't want Duke cause they suck at football yet we want Mizzou who sucks at football but help us academically.  Quick question who would help our academics more Duke or Missouri?

Missouri was a mistake.  It was a  situation in which Slive shot his mouth off and then either couldn't or wouldn't pull the trigger on breaking apart the ACC.  I believe it was a pure PR move so that he and the SEC wouldn't have the entire blame of breaking two conferences laid on their door step.  Missouri is not a rapidly growing State, they will NOT bring the St.Louis or the Kansas City markets because Yankees do not live for college sports, and they will only serve to weaken the brand. 

There are little pockets of Southereness all over this country but those pockets do not a Southern State make.  Yes Col. Quantrill rode the Bushwackers out against the Jayhawks, yes Jesse James rode with him, yes a portion of Missouri did want to leave the Union, but NO Missouri is not in the South.  As for Maryland......get out of my office son that is Yankeesville!  Kentucky has long been granted quasi- Southern status by Southerners.  The entire State of Kentucky wanted to leave the Union not just a portion.  More Kentuckians fought for the South as opposed to Maryland and Missouri which provided an even split if not more to the North.  Kentucky in their speak, cuisine, and love of college sports are culturally Southern.  The same is not true of Maryland or Missouri. 

While we are far from having the SEC Yankeefied it is a small step in that direction.  I do not want one of the last bastions of true Southerness to be defiled like NASCAR (which I have never understood---all it is cars going in a circle).  No use of the word Dixie, no showing of images of the Old South, no playing of the song Dixie, no Colonel Reb, etc.  Why are Southerners (black and white alike) the only people in the world with a distinct culture who the PC police believe it is alright to make fun of and disrespect?  Oh I forgot it is because we are all racists, right?  I guess because it is not like the North had slaves up until they found it no longer financially beneficial.  Its not like Lincoln timed the Emancipation Proclamation as a political tool to keep Lord Palmerston and England out of the war.  Its not like Yankees don't use forced confinement in the inner cities to contain and control blacks in a cycle of crime and poverty.  Its not like the New England States threatened to secede roughly 20 years before South Carolina because they couldn't manipulate the financial system in this country to effectively make all Southerners their slaves.  Its not like Reconstruction was aimed at creating an even larger racial divide in the South. No its just because all Southerners are racist.

I don't blame Yankees they were born evil and without souls.....I do blame Scallywags who don't know what it means to marked among those chosen to be born in Dixie's lovely land.  I do blame those who understand but bow to the mongrels anyway.