Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

Loading...

Friday, September 30, 2011

S&G Previews the Alabama-Florida Game


+


+


=


+

+

Sports & Grits Calls for a Unequivocal Boycott of Colin Cowherd for Insulting Harvey Updyke.

No one man epitomizes the heart and soul of SEC football fandom quite like Harvey Updyke.  Harvey Updyke is a better fan than you.  Yesterday--we can only assume at the point of a gun--Harvey Updyke quasi-apologized to the Auburn faithful. 

No one man epitomizes the nauseatingly craptastic pile of turd that is ESPN quite like Colin Cowherd.  So when Cowherd had the nerve to insult the great and venerable Updyke we naturally have to take umbrage.  Here are a few facts that makes Colin Cowherd not a real person:
1. His surname is Cowherd which leads me to believe that his ancestry came to this country as either criminals or indentured servants and either chose to hide their surname or were so persona non-grata that no one cared to know their name.  They then simply chose to give their profession, hearding cows, as their surname.
2. He is a fan of a Pac-12 program not named USC and therefore cannot possibly have a real opinion on anything college football related.

As if you needed another reason to hate ESPN you now have another reason to hate ESPN.  Their across the board racism focused on the SEC is infuriating.......at least until they have to pay Big Daddy Slive a trillion dollars and ownership in the moon for the rights to continue carrying SEC games once this expansion non-sense is all over with.

Malcolme's back; why?

Ken Malcolme changed his mind. Our guess on what happened, he is wanting to go elsewhere where he can play more, maybe a school like Georgia St or Georgia Southern, where he can play next year and possibly become a star (we think he has the talent to do so in the SEC, but his body may not stay healthy enough to show it). But he can't go there and play now, so you wait until after the semester, and then transfer. That way we have a little better depth at TB, and if the worst happens and we lose Crowell and Thomas or Samuel, he's around to help fill the void (if he's not injured himself) and can get some valuable action this year. If he emerges here and wants to stay, YEAH. If he still wants to move on when December gets here, he can and is in the same position he would be now in terms of seeing the field (a year off if he stays in D-1, can play next year if he drops to a good 1-AA team).

Thanks for coming back Ken, best of luck with your health.

The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part III-- If Richt Goes Who Does McGarity Call On?

Now in very un-Sports and Grits like fashion this week, we have given options for Richt to stay.  However, if we are to disect the Richt Dilemma we must address the issue of either:
a) Richt is fired, or
b) Richt refuses to accept changes and resigns, or
c) Richt retires from coaching all-together.

If the end result is that we need a new coach it will be a monumental decision for our program.  As the SEC continues to improve--it is also the case that the disparity between the haves and have nots in the SEC also grows.  We are in an advantageous situation because if we transition now we could keep pace with Florida as Tennessee slips further and further into irrelevance.  South Carolina will struggle to maintain relevance once the aging Spurrier retires, Vanderbilt and Kentucky have very low ceilings, and if a 7th team is introduced it will either be a familiar foe in Auburn or a lesser from the ACC.  The right move here, made at all costs, could put Georgia in the driver's seat in the East for the next decade.  The wrong move here could make us an every year kick-off foe for some non-SEC school to beat for street cred.
The exact issue of who that coach should be is and will be greatly debated by our fan base.  The real issue here is not so much the coach hire as it is the AD hire that has already been made.  What type of AD is Greg McGarity?  I don't know the man but I know some who do and they have the ut-most confidence in him.  He has shown me nothing to the contrary at this point and my confidence that he will make the right and best decision is 100%. 
There are essentially three types of AD in this world and they are as follows

1. GERALD MYERS-- THE DOUCHE AD.

Gerald Myers is the AD that, without properly investigating the situation, fired Mike Leach.  He is the AD that retired before the Mighty Leach's lawsuit garners a huge settlement or jury award.  He is the AD that not only decided to ruin his school's football program by firing Leach--he decided to ruin it and then drop a big ol' deuce on the ruins by making a lazy hire in T-Tubs.  He is the type of AD that is given to political wranglings, back-stabbing, caring about stupid crap that has nothing to do with football like non-revenue generating sports, he is more concerned about "public perception" than winning football games.  Gerald Myers was a Douche AD and is the type that we hope and pray McGarity is not and will never become.

2. JEREMY FOLEY- THE DEVIL AD
Never let it be said that we at S&G will not give the Devil his due.  Jeremy Foley has delivered championship after championship for the evil empire and has shown no sign of slowing down.  We would love for McGarity to be this type of AD.  One who makes calculated moves and then does everything within his power to help those moves work out for the Gators.  A Devil AD is able to manipulate a favorable "public perception" while simultaneously being a behind the scenes, win at all cost, nut-cutter.  He is the kind of AD that beautifully balances a fained care of student athlete education with the winning isn't everything it is the only thing mentality.  He is like Lucifer who is both the son of the morning star and also the physical incarnation of all that is evil.
3. MAL MOORE- THE COCK-SURE AD
If Mal Moore ran a Georgia oriented blog in which he shared his sense of humor as well as his opinion on all things college football he would run Sports and Grits.  If we were the ADs of a SEC University we would be Mal Moore.  Mal Moore wakes-up every morning and starts breaking necks and cashing checks.  Every year in January Mal Moore goes to that website that will print whatever you want on a roll of toilet paper and he orders 1,000 rolls with the exact language of Title 9 printed on each sheet.  He then eats either Mexican or Indian food for lunch every day to ensure that he never has a clean break.  Mal Moore doesn't give two craps and a Coca-Cola  about baseball, basketball, non-revenue generating sports, a relationship with the media, or basically anything that has nothing to do with Awesomeness and/or winning football games.  Mal Moore could not possibly care any less about what sort of education or future his football players have....he only cares if they win.  Mal Moore is the best AD in all college sports and by college sports we of course mean FOOTBALL!

So is McGarity a political douche, a well rounded AD, or someone who understands that all things not called football are just an unfortunate inconvenience of being a college AD. 
If he is a Douche then we are all screwed.  I have the utmost confidence however that he is not a Douche AD.
Is he an AD that can simultaneously keep all different aspects of the Athletic Department chugging along at an elite level?  Is he like the Devil AD and capable of rolling with the punches, correcting mis-steps before they become massive blunders, and maintaining the balance between appearing to care about all the stupid demands of the NCAA and the idiots in the media while always being willing to win at all costs?  If he is like the Devil AD then we are going to be just fine.
Or is McGarity a Cold-Blooded Sausage Maker?  Is he a cock-sure, pay top dollar, win at all costs in football AD?

If he is a Devil AD we are happy....if he is a Cock-Sure AD then we are about to enter the golden age of Georgia Football.
TOMORROW- The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part IV- McGarity's Short List of HC Candidates.

Support your local High School

Games in and around the Peach state can be found here, there are several very interesting match ups this week in all 4 corners of the state. Or for those like us who are uncomfortable venturing too far from mama's basement, your Georgia Public Broadcasting channel will be carrying Ringgold vs. Heritage Catoosa, while showing Lassiter/Walton online. We're about half way through the season, so playoff runs and divisional games are getting in to full heat.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Week 5 Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money

For the season, our picks have gone 23-15-1, with no losing week yet. Yeah, I know I just jinxed it, so take the opposite of every pick here as I go 0-10. Without further ado, your picks guaranteed* to win you money this week, lines taken from espn.com.
#15 Baylor -3 1/2 @ Kansas St-Look who's in the top 15 haters. Baylor and RG3 are this year's unknown strong team out of the Big 12 (like Tex Tech, Kansas, etc in years past). K St used to fill that role in Bill Snyder 1. Now with Bill Snyder 2, they are still trying to get over Ron Prince disease. Take the Bears and lay the points as RG3 continues his Heisman push.
#14 Texas A&M -3 1/2 @ #18 Arkansas-The SEC's newest member from the SWC meets our last SWC addition, both coming off loses to top 5 foes. Expect the over (62 1/2) to get pushed to the limit here as both teams can score at will. We'll take Petrino over Sherman though, and look forward to this becoming a very strong rivalry going forward. The Hogs are home dogs? Lay the points, take the Razorbacks to at least keep it within a FG if not win outright.
#11 Virginia Tech -7 #13 Clemson-Sammy Watkins is an amazing player. He probably cost one of the Page family atm machines, but he is a great player. And hey, it worked at Clemson without the lake, why won't the "he never knew" defense work at Auburn with the lake? Still, 7 is a lot of points for a matchup of teams so closely ranked, even if it's in Blacksburg. Beamer and the whatizits should come to smack Dabodabodoo and his talented young crew right in the teeth, and we'll see why Dabo is in over his head. Lay the points, and take the Hokies to cover in a sweat box special as Watkins will do something insane to make it tight.
#10 South Carolina -9 1/2 Auburn-Auburn looks for real one week, like a joke the next. The reason Cam looked so great last year wasn't just him, it was a great OL in front of him too. They lost that line, and look for Clowney, Taylor, Ingram, etc to continued their charmed run. A pick 6 and kick return TD, combined with a heavy dose of Lattimore (35 touches minimum), and even El Magnifico Stephano can't screw this up? Or can he? No, not this time, take the Cocks to cover the Plainsmeagles although Garcia will make you need heart medication to watch.
#7 Wisconsin - 9 1/2 #8 Nebraska-The game of the decade for the Big We Can't Count. Their new power plays a traditional power. See the comments about the Va Tech game, Vegas doesn't make a spread that wide, with teams ranked that close, without being on to something. We aren't sold on Taylor Martinez, so the Screaming Pellini's will be in trouble, as he proves completely ineffective and the Hire Paul Chryst train builds momentum. The Badgers cover, and it won't be close.
#6 Stanford -20 1/2 UCLA-Pretty Ricky Neuheisal has been a near disaster for the Bruins. The Luck for Heisman/#1 march continues, and he posts another monster as the Cardinal cover.
#4 Boise -27 1/2 Nevada-This was their stumbling block last year, so the Broncos will come out wanting to get revenge. The Pistol can fire away, but the Boise DL kicked our ass, so I think they should handle the Wolfpack. Take the Blues to cover, even with a 4 TD spread, they'll win by 30+.
#3 Alabama -3 1/2 #12 Florida-Florida ain't ready, plain and simple. They have speed, and talent, but the Master will bust the Padwan's ass. Bama is a killing machine right now, this won't be close.
#2 Oklahoma -37 1/2 Ball St-That's a lot of points. We don't care. Can anyone name the Ball St mascot without using google or searching ESPN/yahoo/etc? We didn't think so. Boomer Sooner will choke, but not against the whoevers. Lay the points, and watch them win 60-0.
#1 LSU -29 1/2 Kentucky-Kentucky sucks. Like really bad. Joker Phillips and his players are already asking Is it basketball season yet? If they score, that will be the shock. Basically, imagine a hungry Tiger in a fight with a little ol Wildcat, that's what this game will look like. Expect Barkevious Mingo to feat on Morgan Newton's juicy innards with Mike at midfield as their halftime show. Bayou Bengals compete with Oklahoma for biggest blowout.


*-guarantee only good on Christmas Eve, between 4:30 and 4:49 in the morning, if you're on your way to Toys-R-Us to get your kid the last Transformer doll, and right before you go inside you get smacked upside the head with a brick

More transfers? We are at what, 69 scholarships right now?

Boo Malcolme and Derek Owens are leaving. Both were bit players this year, and may or may not have impacted future teams. But it does leave both CB and TB a little thinner for the rest of the year. While we wish both luck, this does allow even more room for Richt to use in February since he doesn't believe in oversigning (which would have hurt if either decided to depart after January), or gives more space for [insert name of choice] to bring in more of "their" players. Owens showed nice potential as a freshman, and Malcolme was always considered a big talent in a very frail frame. Good luck with your future endeavors gentlemen; Keith Marshall and I'm not sure who we got on the board for CB, come on down.

Les Miles is Superfly

ht to edsbs for pointing us in this direction. Tigerdroppings.com has the thread, and it's chock full of awesome in the form of Les Miles as multiple old wrestlers. Koko and the Iron Sheikh are great, but Superfly Les Snuka is our favorite. We can definitely see him taking this picture for real real, then blowing it up big and putting it over the mantle or the bed like Alex Rodriguez the Centaur.


via here.

This is Sanchez's post but I, CCRider  have to commondeer for just a moment.
While this picture is awesome I must point out that they have almost every great wrestler Hat Molested on this site....I had to add two more pics.

Sanchez, Oh I can't believe you left off The Amurican Dream Lester Rhodes, Jack!
Despite the greatness of a Les Miles Dusty Rhodes love child...my favorite is Lester P.S. Hayes and the Fabulous Freebirds

Funny how on a Les Miles picture the Terry "BamBam" Gordy-Chavis pic stole the show.



What If I Could Promise You Championships? What If A Single Move Could Fix All Our Problems? Would You Be Interested?

What if I could give you a solution to all the problems in Athens.
What if I could give you an answer that would forever remove the feelings of angst that you have going into a game against Mississippi State?
What if I could tell you how to win and win right now?
What if I could show you how to flip the script on the last 20 years of the Georgia-Florida game?
Is that something you would be interested in?

Richt has problems in Athens from arrests, to poor choices of assistants, to medieval strength and conditioning practices.
You are nervous about a home game against an inferior program this Saturday and it is the same feeling you had in week 1, week 2, and even last week (don't lie.....you were a little nervous about Rev. Nutt).
We are not winning right now.  We didn't win last year.  The year before last we didn't win like we are supposed to be winning.
Richt has been decisively whipped by not one, not two, but three different coaches at Florida.
These are all real problems.  What if they could be fixed?

What if they could be fixed and also bolster our programs National profile?
ROP's like to say how crazy everyone would think we are if we fired Richt.....but what if there was an answer that everyone...even your beloved ESPN could not deny?
What if they could be fixed with 0 negative impact on recruiting?  What if they could be fixed while also bolstering recruiting?

Is that something that you would be interested in?

Then why don't we fire Richt and replace him with someone who has a better record than him over the same time span.  That was the old ROP battle cry "Name one person with as good a record as Richt."  Ok we can name someone with a better record at a less advantageous job.
Why don't we replace him with someone that your precious ESPN would have to respect.  After all it was ESPN that conducted the scientific poll that found most college football fans think that the man of which I speak is the best coach in football.....better even than Saban.
 Why don't we get on the phone and pay this man?
But...but....but..but Rider we are too far along with recruiting for the class of 2012!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
Oh, I see.  Kids are gonna want to play for a declining coach as opposed to the coach THAT EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A RICHT-O-PHILE THINKS IS THE BEST COACH IN THE NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is how that would go:

phone rings in a Georgia recruits house
Recruit:  Hello.
GP: SON THIS IS GARY PATTERSON.  I'M THE NEW HEAD COACH AT GEORGIA.  I TRUST WE CAN COUNT ON YOU TO KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO THE UNIVERSITY.
Recruit: Oh....I don't know coach.  I mean.  I sorta committed to Richt and now he's gone.  I kinda thought I could just show up, not work that hard, hear Bible stories, get hugs from coach VH, never be expected to perform in games, get arrested 5 or 10 times and chase tail for 4 years.  You seem like you would work us sorta hard.
GP: I UNDERSTAND SON.  LISTEN DO ME A FAVOR.  LOOK OUT YOUR FRONT WINDOW.......IS THEIR A VEHICLE ON THE STREET IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE?
Recruit: Yes sir.
GP: WHAT KIND?
Recruit: It's a 1972 El Camino Super Sport.  It's black with white racing stripes.  It has been fully restored......My God it's beautiful.
GP: CAN YOU SEE THE DRIVER?
Recruit: Yeah.  He is getting out now.  He is white headed.  He has a tremendous moustache.  He is walking around to the back of the El Camino. He is getting something out of the back.  It's a gas can.  Now he's shaking the can at me.  Wait he is reaching in his pocket.  He just pulled out a book of matches.  Now he is mouthing something at me.  I--AM--GO-ING--TO--BUR-N--YOU-RE---HOUSE----DOWN.  Wait what?  What's going on here.
GP: PUT MUSCHAMP ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!
Recruit: Wait how did you know Coach Muschamp is here.  He had just walked in when you called.
GP: I'M PAID TO KNOW THESE THINGS.  NOW PUT HIM ON.
Muschamp: This is Will Muschamp and I am super-duper tough and I make intense faces and this had better be darn good because I am in the middle of recruiting a player that was a commit to Georgia before they fired Richt.
GP: SHUT THE F-UP BOY!!!!!DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?
Muschamp:  uhhh.....yes sir....I mean...I know now....I didn't when I answered....I mean I would have never ever been so disrespectful to you coach......oh God you have to believe me, please don't hurt me!
GP: STOP CRYING!!!! I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU.  I JUST TOOK THE GEORGIA JOB.  SO GET THE F OUT OF MY RECRUITS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
Muschamp:  Yes sir.  I had no idea sir.  I would have never.
GP: OH AND WILL.......YOU SEE WHO IS IN THE FRONT YARD?
Muschamp: Oh Gawd......not Dick.
GP: YOU KNOW WHAT ROUTE THE GPS SENT HIM ON TO GET THERE?  THE GAINSEVILLE ROUTE.
Muschamp:  OH GOD!!!! MY HOUSE!

The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part II- Richt Stays but Bobo Goes and New S&C

Mississippi State, Tennessee, VANDERBILT, FLORIDA, NEW MEXICO STATE, Auburn, KENTUCKY, GEORGIA TECH.
 Between now and the time we wake up on November 27, 2011 Mark Richt has to find six wins in these eight games and the ones in bold and all caps HAVE to be among the six. 
A loss to New Mexico State makes Null and Void anything else done this year but the chances of that happening are impossible.
A loss to Vanderbilt or Kentucky- see above.
Richt cannot lose to a fourth new coach at Florida.
A loss to Georgia Tech causes rumblings no matter what.

Should Richt find six wins but one of those six is not Florida he is not automatically out the door.  Richt can save his job.  Heck, Richt has had the power to save his job ever since all this hot seat talk started.  The problem is that Richt is not willing to do what he knows must be done.  Mark Richt is not willing to demote or fire Mike Bobo.  Also, he continues to turn a blind eye to the concept of Strength and Conditioning.  An 8-4 record or even 9-3 with one of the three being Florida will place Greg McGarity in a difficult place.  His options will include offering Richt the chance to stay but on the condition that McGarity fires Bobo and revamps the S&C program.

OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR  
This is the tricky part of the McGarity take over.  Any hire has to be an impact hire.  However, any impact hire is also a message to Richt......any small mis-step is your last.  An impact hire becomes a defacto "Head Coach in Waiting", exposes Richt to a possible mid-season dismissal, and creates a lack of authority over the offensive coordinator by the Head Coach.  None of that matters however because if Richt doesn't want these problems he should have fired Mike Bobo after the UCF game.  So who are the best possible fits:
1. PAUL CHRYST- OC WISCONSIN- Easily the best choice.  He runs the I-formation pro set which is what we already run and is the offense that Richt ran at FSU.  He has coordinated for an O-line guru and is himself excellent in that regard.  We would bring in an OC that runs our system, runs it better than we currently run it, would bring a knowledge of and eye for O-line talent which is something that we have never had under Richt.  The draw back is that he is a Madison, WI native and may not want to leave home.  Of course the current Head Man for the Badgers does not appear to be going anywhere....that is of course unless Ohio State comes a callin' then Chryst would just move down the hall to the bigger office in Madison.
2. MIKE LEACH- UNEMPLOYED-  Now all kidding aside.  Leach can call a game.  He must accept that in order to get back to a HC job he has to accept the humbling fact that he has to take a coordinator's job  and work his way back.  You can control the circus that is Leach by having him behind the very polished and media friendly Richt.  Leach is simply reduced to being the Mad Genius that dials em' from the sidelines (a skill that not many outside of Leach and Spurrier posses).  Leach here is also not a high risk because: while the OC answering to the AD is risky with Chryst--it is actually a good thing with Leach.  It actually removes any possible tension because any argument between the two will result in McGarity going with Richt and it shortens the Leach leash.

If the criteria is dynamic play caller, an attention grabber, and a coach that will not require an overhaul of the scheme....well this is it.  Outside of these two you could name good coaches but not coaches who will bring that "big splash" factor.
3. Kevin Rogers- OC Boston College
4. Lester Erb- RB/Special Teams Coach Iowa
5. Mike Bloomgren- OC Stanford

STRENGTH & CONDITIONING
 How a man that has had the success of Mark Richt can ignore such a crucial aspect of any successful football program is mind boggling.  Offense, Defense, and Special Teams are the three phases of the game.  Coordinators, Recruiting, and Strength and Conditioning are the three phases of the program.  Could you imagine if Richt just promoted an equipment manager to defensive coordinator?  The most devoted fan of Richt in the world would raise their eyebrows over that move.  Yet many in the Georgia fan base said nothing over a move that is equally as crippling.  Alabama's Strength and Conditioning Coach is Scott Cochran.  He is the hottest name in S&C in all of college football and Mal Moore just gave him a raise.  With that raise Cochran is paid a robust $210,000.00 per year.  Now in real people money that is a lot.  In football coaching that is chump change.  $500,000.00.......we will probably pull that off concessions in the New Mexico State game.  At $500K we could have almost anyone we want.  So who would we want?
1. JOEY BATSON- Head S&C Coach Clemson- Am I on the Clemson Love Train?  You must not read us very often.  Despite the fact that Tommy Bowden and Dabo Sweeney have the best bag men in Florida they have still found way to drop games to inferior talent.  However, none of those losses are ever due to poor S&C.  If National Titles were doled out "Looking the part off of the Bus" Clemson would be a dynasty.  Do me a favor google images of Clemson Linebackers over the past decade.  Google will pull up links to Clemson as well as links to all the upcoming gun shows.  Batson's wife is from the South Carolina Upstate but if we double his money I am sure Mrs. Batson wouldn't mind the short drive over the State line.
2. ROCKY COLBURN- Assistant S&C Coach Alabama- His name is quickly emerging as the hottest in the S&G game.  Why in the world we didn't look at him in December is beyond me.  His boss makes $210K are you telling me we don't have $225K?  Are you telling me that our program getting instantly better is not worth $225K?
3. CHRIS DOYLE- Head S&C Coach Iowa- Iowa is big and strong and their power game is second to none.  Doyle is experienced and respected within the S&C world.
4. JOHN DETTMANN- Head S&C Coach Wisconsin-  There are two things that the Big Ten gets right O-linemen and S&C.  Dettmann is the master of S&C in Big Ten Country but unlike Doyle he has Southern ties and could be had at Georgia....although he would probably be the most expensive option.

TOMORROW: The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part III-- Richt Goes So Who Does McGarity Call On?

Recruiting doesn't matter in the Richt debate

Dawgbark.net points out that we have some great recruits coming in, almost coming in, and on deck, like Theus and Pyke and Taylor and Ramsey, among several others of note.
It's an interesting point that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. If you're in Georgia, take a look around. As our research department continues to assert, there is at least 3 future BCS conference players within 49 miles of your front door, no matter where you live in the state of Georgia. That in and of itself is why we don't care about the recruits coming in. For starters, no high school kid is capable of doing anything of note in college football. They have to mature and develop, so how many stars a kid has is pretty much worthless (see the countless examples like Mudcat Elmore, Jasper Sanks, Thomas Davis, David Pollack, Sterling Boyd, Tim Jennings, etc). But more importantly, no matter who the head football coach of the University of Georgia is, they are going to get talented recruits and lots of 'em.
The state of Georgia puts more players on SEC rosters than any other state in the country, including Florida. We are the engine driving this "ESS EE SEE" greatness. Ray Goff recruited well (hey, he at least landed Hearst, Hastings, and Zeier). Jim Donnan landed Hines Ward, Champ Bailey and David Greene. Be it Mark Richt, or another name, we will land several very good, very talented, and highyl thought of recruits. Now, like the Richt or another name comment, these good, talented, highly though of recruits might go by another name besides Ramsey and Theus and Marshall, but that's not really at issue here.
Recruits will come dawgsbark, they've always come. They'll come to Georgia for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn in to Butts Mehre not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at our doors as innocent children, longing for the chance to wear silver britches. Of course, we won't mind if you sign with the program, we'll say. Just so long as we can make millions selling your jersey while the NCAA suspends you for selling the same. They'll pass over their LOIs without even thinking about it, for it's ability they have and our resources and exposure they lack. They'll trot out between the hedges; silver pantsed on a perfect fall Saturday. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere on the sidelines, where they dreamed of being when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll play the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic water. They dreams so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. Recruits will come dawgsbark. The one constant through all the years has been recruits, dawgsbark. Georgia has been rolled by an army of steam rollers; it's been erased like a blackboard, built up and rolled on again. But recruits still come. Those hedges, this state, it's part of us, dawgsbark. It reminds us of all that could be, but never has been. Recruits will come dawgsbark. Recruits will most definitely come.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

How badly do we want this game?

First off, who ever saw that coming out of anyone other than an Ole Miss, Arkansas, Memphis or Southern Miss player? But let's get past that, and focus on the statement. Wanting to beat someone badly, maybe coming out with a burning fire to whip someone for 60 minutes and leave them crumpled and lifeless on the field after a woodshedding? Oh, if only I could believe that to be true. I want to, I really do. I want to believe that fire that we haven't seen burn in these boys since Hawai'i in the Sugar Bowl almost 4 years ago, is beginning to reignite. But are we "man enough"?
As Emerson quotes Aron White again later in the article, "to lose to Mississippi State, not to knock them, but that's something we're not accustomed to at Georgia. That's not something we want to get accustomed to." And the congregation said a loud Amen to that.
But that's what this game boils down to really. We have more talent than they do, up front and in the speed spots. Our coaching may or may not be better, and the same can be said about our S&C. That was the eye opening issue from last year's game, and a sign that began to turn the tide in the wave of Richt hot seat stuff.
"I know I came here to Georgia because I knew they were a physical team and we had lots of tradition. But then Mississippi State definitely showed us we were not as physical as we should have been," Chase Vasser said.
The continued quote, about just not showing up for some games, is a main reason we have been so adament in our so called "Anti-Richtness" as we've been, in combination with the continued lying to ourselves about what we were and what type of team we were to the point where we can blindly ignore problems so Mississippi State can own our ass like Jackie Sherrill and his bull.
So that's it right there ladies and gentlemen, and the importance of Saturday plain and simple. Have we finally woken up and fixed the issues that led to the complacency and sloth so strong Mississippi St has their way with us like our name was Ned Beatty? We find out Saturday, because as bad as Miss St has looked the last few weeks, Mullen still knows how rip apart the weak link on a defensive chain, and his team still looks pretty damn well conditioned physically.

Happy Birthday Larry Munson!

It is that Damn Good Dawg's birthday, and Dawgsports.com will have tons of great stuff today to celebrate.

A snippet:
My primary memory of Munson isn't really a game or a call, as with some many it's kind of hard to pick just one (like ice cream). My biggest memory of Munson is listening to a game that was only on the radio in the mid 90s (95 at Ole Miss I think), with my mother and her parents. My grandfather, who unfortunately was a Florida Gator fan, disliked Munson because of his homeristic calls. At that point, my adolescent self informed my grandfather just who Munson was speaking to, and it wasn't him. The man was a DGD, talking to other DGDs, and there will never be another like him. Thank you Larry for all you've done for the Bulldogs, and for all the memories and happiness you've given me. Happy Birthday Sir, I hope it's a great one.

The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part I - The Tip of the Tipping Point, Mississippi State

Despite the pleas of his co-consul as dawn broke over the field of Cannae, Italy on August 2, 216 BC---
Gaius Terentius Varro, ordered the charge.  The order itself was the tipping point that would lead to the greatest slaughter of Roman Soliders that the most powerful army of the ancient world would endure.  Varro foolishly assumed that Carthaginian General Hannibal Barcca was out of position.  He was not, and deployed the first successful double-envelopment in Military History.

The tipping point is the moment in time when it is do or die, put up or shut up, pee or get off the pot.  The beginning of the tipping point for the Richt regime will be this Saturday in Athens.  Like war itself no single battle will determine the results of this tipping point.  The fate of those involved may not be known until October 29th, or November 12th, or as late as November 26th in Atlanta.   Mississippi State is a tough call.  They are very well coached.  They are on the low end in terms of talent in the SEC.  They run an offense that will be a headache for the 3-4.  They lost to Auburn who lost to Clampsun, which tells us nothing really.  They gave LSU, the best team in the land, all they wanted.  In July I would have said this is a solid lock for a loss.  Now I am not so sure.

I picked the Wednesday before this game to lay this post out for a reason.  I thought we would be 2-2 at this point and I thought this would be at the tipping point.  If you listened to the Podcast I did with the Leather Helmet Blog you heard some of what I am going to say here.  I don't do too many Podcasts because I sound somewhat reasonable in them and no one wants a world without an over the top CCRider in it.  There would be no Skeletor to He-Man, no Joker to Batman, no Tammy 1 and Tammy 2 to Ron Swanson....there must be a villain, right?

I am going to step out of character for this series of posts that I am calling "The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma".  I will put on hold the calling that has been laid before my feet.  I shall for this series of posts cease to be the dashing, debonair, square jawed, leader of the Cold Blooded Sausage Making Movement.  I will allow just a glimpse at the hem of the robe of the Mighty Oz.  I will be serious and I will speak not as The Rider but as a life long fan of the Red and Black Attack.  I shall speak as one who can still remember looking at the scoreboard and seeing:
 Georgia-59  William &Mary- 24. 
At eight years old I knew not of who this William and Mary was but I did know this:  The Georgia Bulldogs are the greatest football team in the world and they can beat anyone.  Later I would come to realize what a win over William and Mary was really worth, but on that October day all was right with the world and the Georgia Bulldogs were unstoppable.  Of course I would go on to endure Ray Goff during my formative years and the disappointment of Jim Donnan.  It all seemed different with Richt.  We won the games we usually lost (except for Florida) not just the games we were supposed to win.  I could smell a National Title.  We got so close only to be so very far away. 
It is that different feel that so many people can't let go of.  It is that smell of a National Title that we got from 05-the beginning of 08.  It is that closeness.  Many fear that we will never see that closeness again should we go in a different direction.  In their minds falling short is better than falling at a great distance.  So what are the options for a fanbase that wants success so badly, has all the tools to gain that success, but is holding on to some warm feelings of times now forever gone? 

We are 2-2 at the 1/3 point of Richt's 11th season.  We have four types of games left:
1. Sure Fire Wins: New Mexico State and Kentucky
2. Games We Should Win: Tennessee, Vanderbilt, and GT
3. Games We Could Win: Mississippi State, and Auburn
4. Games In Which There is No Evidence To Show We Have a Chance to Win: Florida
If the sure fire wins are wins then we are 4-2.
If the should win games are wins then we are 7-2
If the could win games are loses we are 7-4
If we lose to Florida again we are 7-5
Of course things could always take a hard turn right or left.  We could win 6 of 8 to finish 8-4.  We could beat Florida but lose to Vandy.  We are in what experts call a "fluid situation".
All summer long people wanted a number.  What is the magic number for Richt to stay?  What is the magic number for Richt to go?  Well here are the possible options:
a) Georgia runs the table- 10-2 (a spot in the SEC title game): Likelihood- 0.00%
b) Georgia wins 7 of 8 the lone loss is to Florida: Likelihood- 1%
c) Georgia wins 7 of 8 but beats Florida: Likelihood- 1%
d) Georgia loses two more one of those is to Florida- Likelihood- 25%
e) Georgia loses two more one of those is not to Florida- Likelihood- 5%
f) Georgia loses three or more-Likelihood- 68%

Option a) and f) are easy.  Option a) nothing changes, option f) everyone gets fired.  Options b) through e) are much harder and place us in a type of limbo.  If we fall into that limbo McGarity will have four options:

OPTION 1
Likely under scenario b) or c).  Richt stays but McGarity forces Richt to fire Bobo, and VH, and demote Joe T.  Richt is charged with hiring a new OC, and S&C coach.  Richt may chose but McGarity must approve.
OPTION 2
Likely under scenario b) or e).  Richt stays but he must fire Bobo, and VH, and demote Joe T. McGarity selects the next OC and S&C coach giving Richt no say in the matter.
OPTION 3   
 Likely under scenario d), e), and f). Richt stays but he must fire the entire staff and replace them pending McGarity's approval.
OPTION 4
Likely unde scenario d) or f).  Richt stays but he must fire entire staff.  McGarity selects replacements giving Richt no say.

Of course under scenario b), c), d), e), and f) there always exists the Nuclear Option and McGarity fires everyone.  I personally feel like Option 2 is the most likely.  However, in taking the ability to select his staff from Richt you run the great risk of having him step down.  In fact under Option 2 I think there is a 90% chance Richt just walks away.  The reason is because under Option 2 McGarity will hire the unofficial "Head Coach in waiting" and Richt would be subject to dismissal at any point even mid-season from that moment on.  If Richt is fired after Georgia Tech it is what it is.  If he steps down after GT then chances are he was offered the option to stay but not his staff and he would only be able to stay if he relinquished his ability to select that staff. 

We do not know the end game but what we do know is that we are on the brink of  four games in 5 weeks that may very well decide the fate of Mark Richt.

TOMORROW- The Complexity of the Richt Dilemma Part II- Richt Stays but Bobo Goes and New S&C is Brought In.  We break down the top candidates to replace Bobo and save Richt's job.  We break down the top candidates to bring a real S&C program to UGA.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

So What Is Our Obsession With Gary Patterson and Mike Leach?

There exists within each and every fan base in this country a group of people that one could classify as stupid.  Now I am sure that there are not more stupid Georgia fans than any other fan base but as Georgia fans we are far less tolerant of our own brothers who fall into this classification.  We are often times rude, or curt, or dickish if you will to our own stupids. 

We have had particular fun over the past few months demanding that Richt be fired.  We have even more fun when we demand that he be replaced with someone who is the polar opposite of his Joe Cool, Super Nice, Beaver Cleaver persona.  It is fun because so many of our fans are in fact more the fans of the Richt Image than of the football program.  Statements like:

- "All I know is our boys will be better people in the end because of Richt."
- "I would want my son to play for Mark Richt."
- "He is just such a good Christian man."

If you think any of the above then you are the type of person who gets
a) suckered into ponzi schemes,
b) stays in an abusive relationship,
c) is easily confused by bright shiny objects,
d) considers yourself a Liberal,
e) is considered weak and or stupid by family and friends,
f) settles for a crappy job,
g) settles for a horrible spouse, and
h) rewards your children for making Bs instead of demanding As

"All I know is our boys will be better people in the end because of Richt."
Have you seen the boys on our roster?  On every roster of every good team not named Wisconsin?  They are at the very least 50% thug.  Billy Graham could coach these boys with Ghandi as his OC and they are not going to be good people.  They are going to be drug dealers, welfare recipients, AIDS spreaders, dead beat dads, life time guests of one of Georgia's many fine correctional institutions, or NFL players.  Please stop with this notion that we are running a boys and girls club of America.  We are running a football program in the most hardcore, cut-throat, sink or swim conference in the land.  I want Championships not Lifetime Network movies.  Ole Miss beat us to the punch is was called the "Blindside" go rent it so you can have a good long cry and your wife can wish you had a pair.
"I would want my son to play for Mark Richt."
I have a son and I would love for him to play football at Georgia but hopefully not for Mark Richt.  I wouldn't want him being subjected to sub-par assistants and position coaches and I would not want him to be behind everyone else playing D-1 football in terms of his strength and conditioning.  That is what would happen to my son if he played for Mark Richt.
"He is just such a good Christian man."
I am myself a Christian but that does not qualify me to be able to do my job.  Attila the Hun wasn't a Christian and he was pretty good at his job, no?  Your religion has nothing in the world to do with Football because Jesus doesn't care about football! 

So we write at length about about cranky, foul mouthed, portly, pagans.  We love up on ruthless, cold hearted, concussion curing, arrogant, a-holes because they are the total opposite of Mark Richt.
I was asked in an exchange with one reader named 88Dawg, why I gave Patterson a pass (on a single loss)and not Dabo.
I started to answer the question but it got so long I decided on a post instead.
So let me explain our deal with Gary Patterson with a series of statements:
1. I think Gary Patterson is twice the coach that Mark Richt is.
2. I think Gary Patterson has 101 wins in 11 seasons at one of the worst programs in the country
3. I think Gary Patterson's career wins have increased each year as opposed to Richt's which have declined.
4. I think that the above proves that Patterson is building a program.
5. I think that the majority of Richt's wins came with Donnan's players, and while BVG (or at least his influence) was still in Athens, and from 02-05 when the SEC was down.
6. I think that the above proves that Richt was more of a maintainer than a builder and now that the building is falling down he has no idea how to build it back.
7. I think Patterson demands excellence and results while Richt is complacent and cares more for "relationships","mentoring", and any other word you want to use to describe overall weakness.
8. Patterson has Dick Bumpas who is awesome for a multitude of reasons and Richt had Willie "Football AIDS''Martinez.  When your nickname is AIDS you probably suck.
9. I think the fact that Richt-O-Philles want to dismiss a man who has done more with less than Richt over the same time span because he lost with a non-AQ school to an AQ school with a top Heisman contender shows how long the sentence is and how stupid Richt-O-Philles really are.
10. While making their case for why Patterson should never coach again because he lost to Baylor--ROPs seem to have forgotten Central Florida, Colorado, and Vanderbilt.
11.ROP's do not want Richt judged for "One Bad Season" which was in fact the third year of decline in Athens yet want to judge Patterson for a single loss.  That loss came after a Rose Bowl win.  Richt lost that same week to a team from Idaho all while coming off of a loss to CENTRAL FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!

12. And finally.....I think there is about a 10% chance Gary Patterson would be hired by the Georgia Bulldogs.  The problem is the guy that I really like and think we have a good shot at and the guy that Mr. Sanchez really likes......well neither of them are particularly entertaining to write about.

As for Dabo..........I hope all our readers see this classic case of Richt-O-Philia.  A Georgia fan defending a Clampsun coach.  Richt-O-Philles just keep getting more disgusting by the day.   So just for 88Dawg:  Dabo gets no love from us because he has the most talent of any team in the ACC, keeps pulling 5 star, out of state, black players to a school that is a glorified Klan rally, and gets beat on the Reginald by Wake, BC, and GT who are all far less talented and lack the overall SEC-level speed that Clampsun has.  Gary Patterson has to fight tooth and nail for a 3star recruit that only got his third star because back when he was a junior Texas gave him a brief look.  Dabo pulls multiple 5star kids and Patterson has likely never even had a 5star in on an official visit.  Clampsun is the most talented team (or at the very least tied for most talented) in the yearly Botard-off that is the ACC.  The ACC has Duke, Wake, GT and their 1924 offensive attack, Maryland, the $500,000 crack party that is Miami, FSU which is just emerging from the wasteland that was Bobby Bowden's less than glorious era "On Golden Pond", BC and all their killer speed, NCST and their 1824 offense, Virginia, The Beamer-Turkeys who play Beamerball which is the college version of Martyball which is a nice way of saying "Can't win against equal talent", and North Carolina.  A murder's row, no?  When Dabo got the job (because he was the only person Clampsun could afford) he had tons of talent.  When Patterson got the TCU job he had a bare cupboard.  Coach Fran left him with nothing.  TCU has steadily inclined which is proof of a building job.  Dabo is just like Richt he walked into a pretty good situation, got rid of some of the mistakes that had killed his predecessor, will improve based on that, incline a little, plateau, and decline.  Of course at least the Richt death has been slow and painful--Dabo keeps pullin' 5star kids from the Gators and his death might be quick and of the SMU variety.  Dabo gets no love because if you want to give someone in the Clampsun program love try the bag man that they have down around Orlando way.

You think those are smoke cannons but in fact they spray the masculine aroma of Patterson sweat into the Texas air.


Should Blair Walsh sit?

It's pretty clear that our boy has a bad case of the shanks. He's been a great kicker, arguably the best in the country since he arrived, but something's off right now. We're not willing to say he's got Rube Baker disease (aka Steve Blass Disease, Steve Sax Syndrome or the Knoblauchs), but something is obviously wrong and he's missed as many FGs in 4 games this year as he did in the entirety of the last two seasons.
So what's wrong with him? We're not kicking experts, so we've got no clue. But we do have a backup K on scholarship, probably the only school in the country with 3 kickers on scholarship. And Walsh is giving us a gift to at least get some use out of the ship. We're not saying sit him permanently, but Bogotay does have a powerful leg. Maybe let him take over kickoffs full time, allowing Walsh to focus on the different swing and aiming point of an XP/FG kick. Maybe just let him sit down for a week, focus hard on every aspect of his plant foot and swing leg on film both this year and the last two year's looking for anything he's doing differently now vs. then, and taking the time to fix whatever needs to be tweaked.
Plain and simple, it might be time to let the young man sit for a minute to clear his head and get with John Kasay (Sr or Jr now that he's retired), or Kevin Butler (since Bill Hartman is hopefully resting in peace) to work on his mechanics, and get things straightened out, with the added bonus of actually getting some beneficial onfield use from a scholarship worth nearly $2,000,000. Besides, if Bogotay struggles, it's not like you have to DL Walsh or put him on the inactive list, so he can steal come in Saturday, or in Knoxville, if you need to make a big kick. But that's kind of the point with this idea of letting Bogotay get a week or two while Walsh fixes his ailings. If we're down 23-21 Saturday afternoon with 0:03 left on the clock and the ball on Miss St's 27, just who do you trust to give us a W? Anyone?

Monday, September 26, 2011

Will Muschamp did not go to Georgia Tech, and does not like your nerd question

The story is here. The video is absolutely hilarious. Apparently Coach Boom is not a Star Wars fan (he went to Georgia, not Georgia Tech woman), and judging from the final answer "Sure", he really does not care for the ladies line of question. Click the link, watch the video. This game in Gainesville Saturday will be an intriguing one, and for a Georgia fan, hopefully a lot of fun watching the Tahd roll.

How big are these next two weeks for Mark Richt's seat temperature?

Real Big.

Starkganistanians to Jihad in Athens!

The following correspondence was picked up on Sunday.  Warning do not approach the Missy State fans this Saturday.
Your Prototype Missy State fan.
 Greeting from Starkganistan, Infidales! *STOP*


There is but one coach, Jackie Sherrill and Dan Mullen is his Prophet!  *STOP*


My name is Buh-Buh Mustafed Muhammed Reynolds and I am here to let you infidales know that y'all can't be converted therefore you must be put to the sword.  We of the truth faith is a sick and tired of all your fancy-schmancey technology and ways of Lucifer.  What with y'alls "indoor plumbin'", "lights that ain't produced by the sun", and "stationary houses".  Worstest of all is the abomonation of an are-conditioned dog houses.  Our bulldog ain't got no are-conditionin' cause we don't want to spend an eternity a barnin' in Hell.  If y'all should win on Satreday it won't matter cause a life given on behalf of Jackie Sherrill is a gonna be rewarded mightly in Heaven.  All marytars is a gonna get a triple wide trailer and 77 Waffle House waitresses to do with as we please!  *STOP*

You have been warned DawgNation.  McGarity has officially raised the Mullet Warning to RED!

DO NOT APPROACH!

Now this is happening.
 The Blondie is in fact a chick because if you look carefully it's index finger is just slightly longer than it's ring finger.  You learn all sorts of things from Spike TV's Manswers.

Christian Robinson may be back this weekend

According to Richt, according to Mark Weiszer. That would be huge this week against Mississippi St. The Bizzaro Bulldogs come to town, and pose a much smaller threat, or so it seems, than they appeared to be before LSU took over that game late, and they dropped one to Auburn and then almost La Tech last week. But Chris Relf is a big QB who is dangerous with his legs and arm, and we need strong LB play to neutralize him. That's where Robinson comes in. He is a good LB, decent against the run and pass, although nothing special. But most importantly, he's our defensive QB, making calls and getting players set up properly. Against Mullen, his misdirection and quality trickery means you really need to be set properly and have disciplined players on the field. Our DL is controlled the tackle box, which is all you want out of a 3-4. Our DBs have begun to make plenty of plays and look like ball hawks as Rambo returns. It's our LBs that have been the problem area on what has the makings of a D we can ride to wins. But we need Jarvis Jones turning some of those pressures in to sacks and tackles for loss. We need Cornelius Washington or TJ Stripling to step up at the other OLB, since if he collapses in this week like he did last week, Miss St will burn Vasser on failing to keep outside contain with misdirection this week. We need Robinson and Ogletree to get healthy, solidify and bring depth to a middle LB unit that has gotten good production from Gilliard and Herrera the last two weeks.

The hot seat from Saturday, this game (combined with next week in Knoxville) is a huge part of cooling it off.

The Aggies Are IN FINALLY! There is Now Only One Golden Ticket Left.

The Evil that knows no bounds, ESPN, is calling it official via Joe Schad.
Confirmation rolls in from Aggie-Land.

For the one week leading up to the SEC Championship game last year perennial doormat South Carolina got a brief taste of the good life.  It was a true underdogs story.  This year's "Rendercella at the Ball" is Texas AnM.  Everything is coming up Aggies this week.  Rick Perry is going to be President:
I mean lets be honest here....Obama has the same chance of re-election as.....well....as Jimmy Carter.  Also, while we are being honest.....Mitt come on, Bruh.....you're a Mormon.  You can't win on account of you are a Mormon.  Obama was a Black American Muslim (an odd quasi-black panther perversion of Islam which is really more a political movement than a religion).  He went to a "church" whose "Pastor" was at one point a member of the American Black Muslim Movement and then a, Christian?  When it was time for Ol' Barry to run for President what was he?  A Christian, not a member of a fringe cult.  Try to pay attention Mitt.
Anyway, even better than having an Alum as Prez is the fact that AnM is finally looking over Jordan and what do they see?  Coming for to carry them home. A band of angels coming after AnM to sweep them into the Promised Land:
The money train is now set to depart the station but pump the brakes cause there is one seat left and Daddy Slive is looking to grant just one more wish.  It is so cute the way the ACC came up with a $20 MILLION DOLLAR BUY-OUT!!!
 HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.  Hey little white girl who thinks she is Randy Moss....if Mike Slive wants an ACC team tell these good folks how he will pay that $20 Million:

In case you didn't know the odds on favorite is Virginia Tech because:
a) D.C. is the #9 TV market in the US, and
b) Virginia is one of only two Southern States left now that Texas is in- without an SEC presence, and
c) They are pretty good at football.

Wanna know how we know Daddy Slive will drop the cash flow to get what he wants?  Read the Joe Schad article from ESPN and look for this quote:
“…the schools' play in the conference next year is "unconditional." If any school, including Baylor, files litigation against A&M, it would be addressed at that time.” 

"Bring It LAWYAH"~ Slive.
Mike Slive sounds like the Wal-Mart Legal Department when someone calls threatening a slip and fall law suit.  Wal-Mart can say-Ok, sue us then we have more money than Disney and we will drag this thing out until the statute of limitations is about to run and then offer you chump change just to teach your lawyer a lesson. 
Being Rich means you don't have to care about other people......it is the American Dream.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

What Has Clampsun Got To Do To Get a Little Love Here on the Computer Box?

Hey Dabo 1984 is on the phone they want that sweatshirt and calculator watch back.
Everyday I'm Shuffelin'
The title of this post was asked of me by one of my oldest and best friends who just so happens to be a rabid fan of the Clampsun Tiger.....and he ain't even a pig farmer.  So this is for Moxie-baby, a true Granite-villain.

Give Clampsun a little love.  They were staring down the barrel of a three week stretch in which they played the defending National Champs (Auburn), everyone's pick to win the ACC (Florida State), and the team that no one picked to win the ACC but who everyone knows will win the ACC (Virginia Tech).  Two weeks in and HEY DABO has his boys all fired up and undefeated.   
Let this be a cold lesson to all the Richt-o-Philes out there.....College Football is a cruel cruel mistress.  Your beloved, whom you believe to be a God amongst men in terms of coaching football is 2-2.  Yet the above seen freight train full of incompetent and retarded is undefeated this year.  Go figure, huh?
Now chances are you didn't know this--but the ACC is divided into two divisions (chances are you didn't know because it involves ACC football and people care about that in the same way that they care about Pepsi and Burger King--get it--all the second rate stuff).  I suppose I could easily look up the names of the divisions and the teams in each but alas that sounds like research and/or fact checking and y'all know we is a fundamentally opposed to that sorta book learnin' nerdy doins.  So I will just call them the Basketball Division and the Please God Let the SEC Pick us as the 14th Division.  Tonight's win over the artists formally known as the Florida State Bowdens puts Clampsun in the driver's seat of the latter division.  That's right baby Clampsun is now officially the tallest midget at the Little People's Convention.  They can expect a three day weekend of having countless teenie tiny pairs of panties thrown in their general direction.
Of course the BeamerTurkeys, Wake, and BC are still on the schedule so Clampsun can expect drop at least two games before all is said and done.  However, for right now let all the pig farmers, Dodge Ram Pick-ups, and Klansmen descend from those Red Clay Hills of the South Carolina Upstate and enjoy their week of triumph.  It has to feel a lot like 1981 what with your big wins, young coach that everyone else thinks has the brain function of comatose 5 year old, and all the impending recruiting violations you will be dealing with in 3 to 5 years.  Remember SMU didn't get the death penalty for recruiting Texas players they got it for pulling the top players from other States.  Of course I am sure that all the racism, country music, and field parties just have a certain allure that black 5 star recruits from Florida can't resist, right?

Plus, chances are pretty good you will beat the Gamecocks.  Heck, y'all usually do....it's y'alls claim to fame.  The Battle for the Palmetto State or as the rest of the country calls it The Battle of the Delusional Fan Bases.  Here's a sample:
If that is not the prototype Gamecock fan then I don't know what is.

Lester Miles Would Like to Remind You and Dana Hologorosoneniennienin of One Thing

Bout to see if this cross-eyed girl is rocking hooks or snaps.




Hey Fagic Johnson, guess who is still undefeated!
I thought this Hornsnot cat was supposed to be the second coming of Mike Leach.  Guess not since he didn't confuse the Old Boy once all night (oh yeah, that's right Les Miles now refers to himself in the 3rd person with a nickname that Les Miles gave Les Miles himself-- The Old Boy, it has a ring to it, no?).
Awwwwww poor wittle Dana Wholesale who pissed in your Red Bulls?  Oh that's right it was The Old Boy Himself!  Hahahahaha I am so awesome

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Really Clemson? Rushing the field again?

Have y'all been that bad for that long? Are y'all that desperate for wins? That's two weeks in a row now your pitiful fans have rushed the field, against an overrated and injury-depleted FSU and an Auburn team scared to keep up payroll with the NCAA eye on 'em and almost lost two weeks before to Utah St of all teams. And y'all rush the field?

It's not like y'all are South Carolina fresh off a 22 game losing streak here Clem. Show a little pride, and as coaches used to preach to us as kids, after you win, act like you've done it before.

Ole Miss- Halftime Thoughts


CCRIDER:
-I want to see Ole Miss' LT Sowell.  He is supposedly a beast and I want to get a look at him for our SEC draft preview coming this Spring.
-Both sides have to realize the importance of this game for their HC's job. 
Ole Miss looked a tad more "crunk" as the kids say, early on but we settled in.
 -Crowell is a MONSTER!
Yes, yes, yes we know Ole Miss is the dregs of the SEC, but they are still talented.
Yes, yes, yes we know Tyrone Nix is a functioning retard, but still-- Crowbar is ferocious.
 -The O-line is run blocking much better
In fact a lot of the pass protection problems appear to be at least 1/2 Murray's fault
 -The flag on the Ole Miss TD was a good call
The flag on the late hit on Murray was tickey-tack.  This ain't the Pac-12 let em' play.
The pass interference against Ole Miss on 3rd and goal that led to the second TD was very very close (but I am a defensive guy).
 -Orson drops easy ones and then goes all AJ on TD passes
 -99 yard drive.  That has to be a first for Brother Bobo
-WHY CAN WE NOT GET LINED-UP ON DEFENSE!?!
Who wants to tell me about how great Grantham is?  Football AIDS never made the right call but at lest they lined-up for the wrong call (**DISCLAIMER** We do not mean this as if we would ever under any circumstances want Football AIDS back on our sidelines)
- Getting beaten on Special Teams is a sign of poor coaching.  It is a failure to pay attention to details.
-God grants us a favor and gives Rambo a gift.
 -Murray has settled in and is using his legs just like last year.
 -So you are telling me that establishing a running game opens up the deep pass in the pro set? 
You are telling me that utilizing your TE's makes the pro set almost impossible to defend? 
Who'd a thunk it! 
Perhaps Brother Bobo got a hold of a little Wisconsin game tape.
-Our retarded OC is far less retarded than Ole Miss' retarded DC 30 minutes in.
-Crazy play.  The Right Reverend is the man that will not die.

MR. SANCHEZ:

-Crowell is our horse and it is amazing how much better we look with a running threat.
-Orson Charles drops too many balls
-The D looks good except for the fact that Vasser is totally incapable of keeping outside containment.
-You can really see all the "Natural" talk about Crowell.  Especially when you compare his vi son to our Middle Linebacker, Samuel's.
-I like Ole Miss using the different color jersey for the back-up QB.  Never seen that before.

Let the Game Begin



Ole Miss isn't confident and is pretty sure they'd need to be playing AA or lower just to make the GHSA playoffs. We're beat up at LB and OL and have had our share of struggles as well, especially on offense.
Our prediction is on record:

31-14, Georgia. Being in Oxford gives me pause, and I respect Houston Nutt as a dangerous coach, and [Ole Miss does] have some talented players. But after losing to Vandy, and knowing that Richt, while underperforming with his talent, has brought in a lot of skill, I have a hard time seeing otherwise. I'm not sure what threat the Rebels bring offensively, and our defense has been very stout in it's second year adapting to a 3-4. I think our defense plays strong, our offense begins to focus around Crowell, and Boykin or Smith break off a couple big plays to make the score seem a lot easier than the game will actually be.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Week 4 Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money

a little later than normal, but still in time to win you money, and you like money, right pal? Hey, we all like money, and these picks, these picks are guaranteed* to win you money (17-11-1 so far on the season). So take these picks and I'll be by for my cut on Monday.
#13 Virginia Tech -20 1/2 @ Marshall-This ain't Randy Moss or Jim Donnan's Marshall. The Whatizits are rolling along nicely, and while Beamerball doesn't usually like 20+ point spreads (they only won by 21 vs. Arky State last week!), Marshall is really bad right now. Take the Hokies to cover, although they will make it as difficult and boring as possible.
#12 South Carolina -16 1/2 Vanderbilt-Navy almost made us look smart last weekend, but Vandy is different. Sure, they roughed up the Daddy Bears, but those masochists at Ole Miss like a women who'll smack you in the face with a weight belt after they get through grinding you in to snu-snu submission. And Vandy is no Navy. To be honest, no one can play that style of offense with their level of precision and execution. This spread will be a contest of Lattimore vs. El Stephano. Garcia will throw a pick or two to keep it close, Lattimore will continue his Heisman campaign on ESPN2. Take the Manchild to push 200 again, and SC gets a defensive score or near score to cover late.
#11 Florida St -2 1/2 #21 Clemson-#21? Really? Just cause they beat their non-laked brethren, who nearly lost to Utah St in the opener? Need we forget, these are the same kitty cats that nearly lost to Wofford two weeks ago, and it wasn't a spelling contest. The Seminoles are beaten and bloodied, but AP voters are Dougs constantly seeing squirrels. Seminoles cover in a fight of offensive ineptitude that would make lil' Jeffrey Bowden proud.
#10 Oregon -15 1/2 @ Arizona-Yawn. The only reason it's not bigger is that road symbol. LaMichael James continues to produce in obscurity as the best back in the land of easy running (seriously, when was the last time the Pac 10 didn't have some smallish highlight reel rusher making all their defenses look like middle schoolers playing flag football), and may crack 250 as the Ducks mudstomp the Desert Dwellers.
#9 Nebraska -23 1/2 Wyoming-23? That's not even funny. The Children of the Corn have posted over 40 every week, and Wyoming ain't hitting 20. Take the Screaming Pellini's in this week's gift game.
#8 Texas A&M - 4 1/2 #7 Oklahoma St-The Aggies have been playing well, but the T Boones have been too. We can spit off some numerical nonsense we found on google, but we haven't paid attention to either team. But we like I'm a Man Gundy over I Worked With Brett Favre Sherman, and the Cowpokes schedule looks tougher than A&M's so far. We'll take the T Boones, cause it'll probably be close, probably hit the over by halftime, and at worse, even if they lose, they can still cover the points if they keep it within a FG. Keep the points and take Okie St.
#4 Boise -31 1/2 Tulsa-So Tulsa has to score at least 30 to cover? Not gonna happen on the smurf turf. Take the Broncos, who'll push 60 or 70.
#3 Alabama -11 1/2 #14 Arkansas-Bama is football machine right now. Arkansas is one of the few bumps on the tracks that might derail them from the game of the century in Tuscaloosa on November 5. Trent Richardson shows Arkansas why they probably should have scheduled better than a steaming pile of pig piss before Saturday, and Saban's unholy army of demons on defense pitch a shutout. Take the Tahd, 28-10.
#2 LSU -5 1/2 @ #16 West Virginia-Oh my. The crazy gets turned up to 21 in Morgantown, from it's usual 11. This one will be pure awesomeness. Grass vs. Red Bull. Drunken crazy vs. plain crazy crazy. Couch burning vs. corn dogs. It'll be a dream wrapped in a fantasy. Oh, and LSU's behemoth blue gums continue that march to November 5th. LSU more than doubles the cover. It'll be close for a half, but the fires will run out of gas around 40 minutes in, and those Bayou Bengals know how to finish a victim, 24-14 in the end.
#1 Oklahoma -21 1/2 Missouri-Big Game Bob will choke eventually, and while he won't lose, he won't cover either. 21 is a decent amount of points, and it'll be tougher when the Sooners come out flat. Their talent will win in the end, but Mizzou keeps it close. And man, Mizzou must be feeling like a below average girl in Athens that just transferred to Tech, as they went from a 4 to a 9 in a hurry. Nothing special, but the Big 10 and SEC will be fighting for one of the few not ugly girls still on the market. Our suggestion, keep feeling pretty and go with the rest of the uggos in Big 10 land, because you'll be back to a 4 real quick in the Playmate party we call the SEC.
*-guarantee only good on Christmas Eve, between 4:30 and 4:49 in the morning, if you're on your way to Toys-R-Us to get your kid the last Transformer doll, and right before you go inside you get smacked upside the head with a brick

Support your local high school

It's not the morning, but if you catch this late at work, you've still got time to get around the corner, and find a great high school talent. Remember, our research department promises there is an SEC caliber player or 3 playing a high school football game tonight within 27 miles of your own front door.
Again, this week's slate of game's in Georgia is here. If you're too lazy to leave your coach, you can catch several big prospects for Buford or Norcross on your local GPB TV station (both Buford and Norcross have multiple SEC/ACC commits on their rosters).

Richt-O-Phile Nation's Theme Song

I am hesitant to place America's poet laureate on the same post with Richtie-Poo but the song is too perfect.  We should get back to .500 on Saturday--BUT--a road game in the SEC against a tricksie coach gives us pause for concern.

Even if we lose on Saturday the Richt-O-Phillics will still worship at the alter of Richt with their high priest Mike Bobo.  After all its all part of the master plan so these loses are actually beautiful:

Georgia vs Ole Miss 2012

On a not so brisk Autumn day about this time next year-- Ole Miss will travel to Athens for a game betwixt the Hedges.  The thing that will make this game more than just another SEC match-up is that it will feature two coaches brand spanking new to the SEC.  The year before the sidelines were inhabited by the two longest tenured coaches in the SEC.  Mark Richt was in his 11th season at the University of Georgia.  Houston Dale Nutt was in his 5th season at Ole Miss and his 14th consecutive season in the SEC.  Richt had steered the Bulldogs from middle of the pack in the SEC, to SEC championships, back to middle of the pack in the SEC.  Nutt on the other hand saw immediate success with the surprisingly well stocked pantry left by Lil' Bebe Orgeron at Ole Miss.  However, Nutt failed to bring in his own players and steered the Rebs to the very bottom of the SEC.....below even Vanderbilt. 

October 2012 will see a very different game with very different teams on the field.  The Ole Miss Rebels enter the game at 3-0 with three very impressive blow out wins.  Georgia enters the game at 3-0 with three dominant defensive performances including the total shut-down of Heisman favorite Marcus Lattimore.  The Ole Miss band blows out "From Dixie With Love" as the anthem will have been re-introduced along with Colonel Reb (evidence that God hates political correctness is the pox that had befallen the Ole Miss program).
As the Ole Miss Rebels begin to crowd the tunnel leading from the visitors locker room the sea of blue helmets is parted as their Head Coach moves to the front.  Atop a solid white horse and in a complete and time authentic Confederate Generals Uniform sits Michael Leach.  Lech unsheathes a bejeweled Confederate sword, casts a look of disgust upon his own team, and then sounds the charge.  Ole Miss takes field to a chorus of boos from the Georgia faithful. 


As the last Rebel straggler makes his way onto the field the entire Stadium is shaken with the ferocious bellowing of assorted profanities and racial slurs.  The Crowd erupts as they know that their beloved Bull Dawgs will be taking the field lead by their stout, sweaty, foul mouthed, head coach......Gary Patterson.

All this purple could be Red, son!
Leach's Ole Miss squad is 3-0 having out scored their opponents 300 to 105.  Georgia is 3-0 having given up only 7 points in their first three games.  It will be a classic case of Offense vs Defense, of Insane Genius vs Insane Madman, of Solitary confinement in small dark places vs YELLING! 
Mark Richt is perfectly fine as he and Mike Bobo are settling in at the University of North Carolina.  Houston Nutt and Tyrone Nix are doing just fine down at Tulane. 

The Rebels and Dawgs are suddenly relevant and Sports and Grits is happy to dish out the optimism and a few delicious recipies