Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

53% of U.S. Citizens are MORONS....or Maybe Just Evil

The new cool thing to do if you have the market cornered on football oriented video games is to have the general public vote on the player you place on the cover.  Madden NFL Football will announce the newest cover-boy for their yearly slightly modified but essentially the exact same game as the year before at 5pm today on the World Wide Leader in Douchery.

The semifinals were wrapped up and here are the results:

Calvin Johnson 66% wins over Aaron Rodgers 33%
Cam Newton 53% wins over Patrick Willis 47%

Now if people were not morons and they actually understood football not a single person would have voted in any of the brackets except for Patrick Willis.  Willis would have gotten 100% of the vote and no one would have gotten anything else.  EA Sports would have gotten the message and placed Beast-Man on their cover.

Of course 53% of the world could be deliciously evil and voted against Willis so as to avoid Willis suffering an injury a'la the Madden curse.  You know the curse....If you are on the cover you will get hurt.  Just ask Eddie George, Marshall Faulk, Dante Culpepper, Ray Lewis, and most recently Peyton Hills:

The rare and elusive "Great White Running Back" thought extinct since the days of Jim Taylor. Recently spotted briefly in Denver and then witnessed by all in Clevland only to be taken out by the Madden Curse.
The particularly evil part is that Cam "Wanda" Newton could be the recipient of the season ending Madden Curse injury.
Even better for us is the fact that the finals are currently Newton from Auburn vs Calvin Johnson from Georgia Tech which means regardless of the winner and the injury all Dawgs get to secretly chuckle to ourselves about a Tiger or a Jacket hero getting hurt.........Please don't even act like you won't enjoy it.



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