Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Friday, April 27, 2012

Draft Winners, Draft Losers, and Pete Carroll might actually be interested in the Arkansas job.

Each and every year at this time we are reminded of Sgt. Lincoln Osiris' time tested and sage wisdom:
Yet each and every year someone in some NFL front office simply can't help themselves and this year that man was in the Seattle front office.  More on that point in a bit.  In the mean time let's breakdown the big winners, then the losers, and then we can discuss...of course...the SEC dominance.


Steelers- You know what the Steelers always do?  Go to the playoffs.  You know why?  Because they understand how the draft works.  They stayed pat, watched multiple teams crap the bed or stretch on players, and got the best O-lineman on in the draft.  Kalil has multiple holes in his game but DeCastro is a special player and the kind of dominant O-lineman that you rarely see in the draft.  DeCastro beside Pouncey means the Steelers will run between the tackles, control the clock, and win games.

Chargers- The Chargers sat on their pick, watched as the Jets Indian food buffet-diarrhea crapped the bed, and got the best 3-4 pass rush LB in the draft.  Did you see Quinton Coples highlight reel?  It was sad.  He was playing lazy and not finishing plays....AND THAT WAS ON HIS HIGHLIGHT REEL!  Did you see Melvin Ingram's highlight reel.  Explosive, dominant, finisher of plays.  Additionally, Ingrams tape was of him against SEC talent and Coples was of him against Duke, NC State, and Maryland.

Cowboys- They didn't have give up the entire farm and got the most NFL ready defensive player in the draft. 

Eagles- Best D-lineman in the draft and got him outside of the top ten.  Well played.


Seahawks- This pick showed a fundamental misunderstanding of a) how to assess talent, b) how others assess talent, and c) how to leverage picks.  First of all here is a sentence you never want to hear about your first round pick "He had to go back and get his GED." Irvin had a late 2nd round early 3rd round grade.  The Seahawks could have traded down three times and actually gotten out of the first all together.  Had they done this they would have gotten 3 first round picks for next year giving them 4 first round picks next year.  Additionally, they could have gotten 3 more second round picks in this years draft (which lacks star power but has a lot of team building 2nd and 3rd round talent).  The Seahawks could have done all of this and still got their man in the late second round.  Pete Carroll either doesn't understand the NFL or he really does want to coach Arkansas next year.

Jaguars- Undersized, slow, overrated, wide receiver in a wide receiver heavy draft.  Just plain stupid.

Panthers- This is no less than the fourth time the Panthers have taken a white, concussion waiting to happen, undersized, inside linebacker. 

Bills-  Gilmore is a second round talent.  He has never shown any sign of anything at USCe.  They had no less than 15 better options and if they just really wanted a corner Kirkpatrick was available and far more talented.

Jets- Melvin Ingram is an elite player.  Coples is a lazy player.  Ingram was forged in the fires of the SEC.  Coples played in the ACC where only three schools are serious about football.  Ingram in a high motor guy.  Coples is a quitter who doesn't finish plays.  The Jets are stupid.


Browns-  They got the best player in the draft but took it in the pooper from the Vikings who played the Browns.  The Browns then lost control of their bowls on account of taking it in the pooper and crapped the bed by taking a 40 year old Big XII QB.

Vikings- They basically took the player they wanted all along, created a false pretense in interest in their pick, and stole multiple picks from the awful Browns.  Sounds good right?  Then they traded back in and took a Safety from Notre Dame.  That is all you need to know.  A secondary player from ND. 

 Bucs-  Took the best safety on the board but then got back in and wasted a pick on a running back from Boise St.

Patriots- Big risk on a Syracuse DE but then took the player the Panthers should have taken 16 picks earlier.  Hightower and Mayo on the inside = no running on the Patriots.

Oh and also the SEC sent nine players in the first and should send 9 to 15 tonight....You're welcome NFL.


  1. Who do you have as the best of what's left?

    1. Ah one step ahead of me Anon. My Best of the Rest post should be up by around 3:30 so check back.