|The Original Chart|
1. We could have moved Spurrier from Chaotic Neutral to Neutral Evil but in order to do that we would have needed a time machine to take us back to the 90's when he was still at Florida.
2. We could have just re-placed Petrino with John L. Smith the way Ar-Kansas did; but we decided to put a little more effort into replacing Petrino than Ar-Kansas did.
3. We could have used Muschamp but we are pretty sure his job status after this season will lead us to having to do all of this all over again.
4. Sumlin and Phillips were unusable because they are either too new or too vanilla for us to get a read on.
5. James Franklin belongs in the "Douche" category so he is out.
6. Some idiot mentioned Gary Pinkel but he coaches at Missouri and Missouri is NOT in the SEC.
So that left us with a difficult choice....leave the slot open or take a hard look at someone who we all forgot about..........Hugh Freeze. Ole Miss is so awful at football (whenever they don't have someone named Manning at QB) that it is easy to forget about them.
Now let's remember what a Neutral Evil Character is (just in case you didn't hit the above link):
Neutral evil beings consider their alignment to be the best because they can advance themselves without regard for others.
Neutral evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents pure evil without honor and without variation.
Now here is a picture of Hugh Freeze:
- He is from Mississippi so the chances of him being obese, having a sexually transmitted disease, reading at a third grade level, or any combination of the three is very high.
- He was an assistant AD at Ole Miss when Coach O was there, his formative years growing up in Mississippi were during the Billy Brewer tenure, and he is a former High School Coach in Memphis, TN.........so let's just say my man knows how to get them dollah dollah bills safely into the hands of HS Coaches and Granmommas all over the South.
- He coached Michael Oher in HS so he not only knows about illegal recruiting he also knows how to turn that into an absurd tear-jearker of a story that is then made into a movie that makes a ton of money by playing on rich white people's white guilt. (Yeah, we just called the Blindside TOTAL BS! que the outrage from reader RebelKev)
- His name is Hugh and everyone everywhere named Hugh is a total SOB.....isn't that right, HUGH!?!