Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Monday, July 23, 2012

The Unforeseen Fall Out of the Penn State Penalty.

Way back in November we assured you that Penn State would:

a) get special treatment, and
b) avoid the death penalty.

We also weighed in on what the courts should do with Sandusky...spoiler alert it involves a killing with bare hands and "The Stallion That Mounts The World", Matt Millen.

Back in January we at S&G were the only blog with the courage to ask what was really going on surrounding the death of Paterno.

All the penalties are in and now we can assess the fall out that many of you may not have anticipated:

1. Mack Brown may have a contract on his head-  If you believe for one fleeting moment that Bobby Bowden "hates he gets the career wins record like this" well you are a moron.  The only family in American History sleazier than the Bowdens, in my opinion, is the Kennedys.  When the ruling came down I'm sure Ol' Bobby was devastated and I am equally sure they didn't have all the kids and gran'-babbies over for a celebratory round of cake and ice cream.  The problem is that now one of the all time dirtiest players in the game has a record to protect.  Mack Brown is 150 wins away from Ol' Boobie.  Mack Daddy is only 60 years old, and with the new alignment of the Big XII is assured of 10 wins at least, every year.  That means that at age 75 Mack Daddy will be knocking on Ol' Boobie's door and we can't have that now can we.

2. Corch and his brain zit are about to descend upon Pennsylvania-  2 Hours before the sanctions are announced in Columbus, OH:
Corch:  Is the plane gassed up?
OSU Minion: Yes sir has been for the last three hours.
Corch: Is my list of Penn State players in my seat on the plane?
OSU Minion: Yes sir has been for the last three hours.
Corch:  Have our spies reported any other Big Ten program preparing to steal players?
OSU Minion: No sir, they are all vowing to stay away out of respect.
Corch: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!  What a bunch of Queefs (This should be read in Skeletor Voice)

3. There is officially NO death penalty in NCAA Football-   "If this is it for child molesting I"ll just start writing the checks directly we don't need bagmen anymore!"......was over heard outside of the Alabama, Auburn, and Clampsun Athletic Director's office.
"It's like they are begging us to cheat." ~ Anonymous NCAA Head Football Coach

4. The Penn State job just opened up in 2015- "Someone get me Slutty Bobby Petrino's number, STAT!"......will be overheard outside of the Penn State Athletic Director's office in January of 2015.

1 comment:

  1. A week and nothing new to say? Just looking for a fix. Glad football will be here soon.

    ReplyDelete