Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

This is what the corporatization of college football is going to give us: Tim Tebow as a Dawg, and Bo Jackson on the Plains

We have been slowly seeing the ESPNization of our beloved college football. The disregard of traditions, pagentry, and hatred. Oh the beautiful hatred. Clean, old fashioned, good timey hate. Hate for our rivals that never ends. Hate like Steve Spurrier has for Georgia, and always will after Bill Stanfill stomped a mudhole in that ass during his Heisman campaign. Hate like Harvey Updyke has for Plainsmeagles, and Oklahomans have for Longhorns. So with that in mind, what on earth made EA Sports think our rivals would want to see Herschel in their jersey? Or, as the video shown below, Tebow in red and black?



It's like you don't understand us entirely and never will. Let me explain something to you EA Sports, because we've always gotten along pretty well. But in case you missed it, we don't like Tim Tebow. We don't fantasize about what if he chose Athens, because he's evil and horrible and just a bad person. Our lives are not going to be better if we spend 5 minutes in his presence, Mr. Brennamen. He sucks, and his greasy, jort loving self is unworthy of donning our glorious, gorgeous silver britches. So in response to this monstrosity, the entire SEC region should ban together, and let our voices be heard. Do not purchase NCAA 13, just keep playing NCAA 12, and make due on Madden for a year. They'll get the picture, and never again subject us to the horrors of that disgusting creature in the wrong colors.

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