Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Monday, August 20, 2012

Texas A&M fans come to the Ol'Boys for a dose of reality.

So some AnM fan or blogger, or writer of some sort discovered us a few weeks back.  Naturally this person was immediately infatuated with our debonair swagger, striking good looks, and overall splendidness.  We of course assume that this is the reaction of all the women of the newest SEC state, Texas:
Anyway......there are a lot of Aggies and fans of that other new Yankee school that do not hate us yet so we figured we would change that ASAP.  This cat asked if we would answer a few questions.  We were more than happy to oblige....of course we must assume that any plan to publish this was 86ed when they got our answers:

1.       How excited are the traditional SEC powers about the expansion?

Uhhhhhhhh……wellllllll…….hmmmmmmmm……not very.  In fact I would say you have two camps- (1) The really don’t give a crap camp and (2) The sort of pissed that we took Missouri camp.  TXAMU brings us deeper in-roads into the State of Texas, AnM has money, and AnM brings in two large television markets.  On the other hand Missouri should contribute as much to the SEC as a ferocious case of hemorrhoids adds to the enjoyment of a bowel movement.  We understand that Texas is its own unique State but they are still associated with the South.  Missouri is a Yankee school.  Now y’all have been playing Yankees for years but we have not.  We have a Yankee commissioner who has now crammed Yankeeness down our throats.  The bottom line is AnM is alright but Missouri is a colossal mistake.

2.       Where do you see Missouri and Texas A&M finishing respectively?

I see Missouri never finishing higher than 3rd in the East.  As of right now 3rd may be where they land this year, so essentially Missouri will blow what they have pre-maturely.  The SEC East has over the past two years been as down as it will ever be.  I don’t see Tennessee or Florida making any real leaps this year and I don’t see Georgia or South Carolina being any sort of a dominant force (when compared to Alabama and LSU).

I think AnM could possibly have the tools to one day be the champion in the West.  Let us not forget that long ago an SEC West trophy was carried back to Starkganistan (so anything is possible).  I am guessing that Saban has at least a decade left in him and if all of those years are spent at Alabama then who ever his successor is should be able to maintain (heck Lester has maintained LSU so again- anything is possible.  I see Miles lasting another 10 to 20 years at LSU or possibly fired sometime in the next three (you never really know when you combine Miles, Bourbon Liquor, and Cajuns).  Regardless of when Miles is replaced- I think LSU will go for a big name.  I say all of that to say this….AnM may win an SEC West title but it may not come for 20 or 25 years. This year I see AnM, Mississippi State, and Auburn in a round robin so AnM could end as high as 4th or as low as 6th.

3.       What is the main difference between the Big XII and the SEC?

Well let me see……………….

a)      The SEC plays Defense and the Big XII does not.

b)      The SEC has depth at all positions and the Big XII does not.

c)       The SEC is stout top to bottom and the Big XII really only has two teams.

d)      The SEC is strong and the Big XII is weak.

e)      In the SEC if you throw the ball 40 times a game you can expect to be fired because of the horrible record you will have.  In the Big XII if you throw the ball 40 times in a game you can expect to be in the running for Big XII coach of the year.

4.       How far away are Missouri and Texas A&M respectively from competing for SEC Titles?

Well I sort of answered this in #2 but I can be more concise here:

Missouri- When Hell freezes over.

Texas AnM- Before you die….maybe….if you are an AnM fan and 15 years old or younger.

5.       What will be the biggest knock on each of the new comers to the SEC?

Missouri can expect to be ignored because they are Yankees.  We hate Yankees but not enough to actually show them any real respect.  Missouri will always be dismissed by SEC fans saying “Missouri?  Oh they are a Yankee school so we don’t count them.”

AnM can expect a multitude of analogies to their program being the unwilling substitute female to Texas in a fictitious prison scenario.


  1. Can't we all just get along?

    1. What!?!

      You must be a Missouri fan.....no one gets along in the SEC because what fun is that?

  2. Sanchez - you got picks coming next week? We're going head to head this year my man. If interested in a weekly pick'em on the S&G forum, let me know. I'll shoot you an e-mail offline if you want to put sumpin together. Baller vs. The Great #31 from Yorba Linda.


    1. That's a good idea Tex. And yeah, I'll have my picks, probably same set up as last year just picking the games with the 10 highest ranked teams.