Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Kentucky's Next Football Coach....The Odds On Favorites

A google image search of "Kentucky Football Logo" will yield the above so let's just say that the first in our four part installment on the impending coaching carousel ain't exactly going to produce a bunch of shiek or exciting names.  With that in mind here are the top contenders to have the following said of them after they are fired in 3 to 5 years...."I mean he just werent no Rich Brooks, ya know what I'm sayin'."


1. SONNY DYKES- HEAD COACH- LOUISIANA TECH
Now there is a 13 out of 14 chance that if you look just like Brad Scott a SEC program will avoid you like the HIV.  However, if you are Kentucky and someone mentions Brad Scott and your head coaching job in the same breath you would say...."You mean we could have Brad Scott-level success......sign me up right now!"  Ol' Sonny Boy has had a little success at LATech and lets just all be honest with ourselves.......LATech is about the only job out there that Kentucky is seen as a step up from.ODDS- 15%

2. KLIFF KINGSBURY- OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR- TEXAS A&M
Not to be too obvious but.....uh.....skraight up out da' box Special K is rockin' an Affliction T-shirt......which means.......Kentucky has more trailer parks than any other state + More people who wear Affliction T-shirts live in trailers than in homes = IMMEDIATE FRONT RUNNER FOR THE JOB!
S&G:  What is it that you like about Kingsbury?
Random Kentucky Fan:  Well I mean he is just so well dressed.....He's got deme dere Affliction shirts with the shiny letters......the ones that a'come from the JCeeee Pannys not the ones from da TeeeJayy Maxx.
ODDS- 15%

3. GARRICK MCGEE- HEAD COACH- UAB
Holy Crap!!!!! This dude looks like a character from an early 90's black TV show.  He was either the building super from Martin, or a professor from A Different World, or guy who only lasted one season on In Living Color.  The sad news for Kentucky is they would be his second choice if Arkansas passes on him....the sad news for McGee is that Arkansas will almost certainly pass on him and the Kentucky job may be off the table leaving him stuck at UAB. ODDS- 20%

4. HOUSTON NUTT- CHILLAXIN UP AT DA' HOUSE.....DOIN' LUNCH AT THE S&S....YOU KNOW....LIVING THE DREAM
Oh I see you rolling your eyes, snickering, skipping down to the bottom to comment on how stupid I am.  You just keep on thinking that the right Rev. Nutt is done.....and then when you least expect it.......the everlasting evangalist is back in the saddle.  You want to hear another truth that you will try and deny....if your a fan of an eastern program this man will get you once or twice when you least expect it.  Also try not to forget that desperate times call for desperate measures. ODDS- 20%

5. WILLIE TAGGART- HEAD COACH- WESTERN KENTUCKY
Wow it looks like we jumped the gun on using the 90's black TV jokes.  Thank God we held back on the Fresh Prince because Willie looks like some dude that Uncle Cliff brought home and tried to force Hillary to go out with....but she wasn't interested and it turns out that he wasn't either and just accepted Cliff's invitation as an excuse to get into the house and make a move on Carlton.  Of course Carlton would be oblivious and would invite him to the pool house to listen to some Tom Jones....then the next thing you know this dude lays one on Carlton tongue and all just as Will Smith walks in, makes a funny face coupled with a squeel, and they cut to commercial.  On a quasi-football related note he is Les Miles choice for Kentucky but only because he is the only human being in the world with a bigger head and thus a bigger hat than Miles.  ODDS- 30%

1 comment:

  1. UPDATE:

    Showing that they are even worse than initially thought at Football....Kentucky hired one of the 23 Stoops brothers.........Good call Kentucky...good call.

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