Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Of QBs Black Of QBs White and Who Is Really Racist.

This time last year we did a couple of stories all about how Cam Newton would be a failure in the NFL because he was your typical black scrambling QB.  Literally everyone who reads this site because they either love or hate us were in agreement.  Cam had a good first year but so did Vince Young.  The bottom line is Cam will eventually be a bust.
Fast forward to this past Monday and I wrote essentially the exact same things about RGIII.  However, there did exist a few differences about the RGIII post:
1. We also called BS on Andrew Luck (a white QB)
2. It came on the same day as a negative post about the Beloved which was really more of a negative post about ROP's.
The result.......outrage by the PC Police.  You see RGIII is not a QB from another SEC school.  He is not the QB of an SEC school that had just won a National Title while the years since the last title Georgia won entered into the third decade.  So what really happened is that embedded within an article in which I praise Peyton Manning, make a cut against the top two QB prospects in this draft, and then in a very tongue and cheek manner heap a little love on a Bulldog fan favorite.....one aspect of that article was used to once again attack our site and yet again have an apparent trade embargo placed on us by other sites.  Now I have a theory about this.  Had the negative Richt post not gone up no one would have complained.  Since we are such raging racists over here at S&G allow me to breakdown the topic of which we dare not speak.......Black QBs.

I am going to make two statements.  Both are 100% factually accurate.  Both are presented with no spin or alteration to fit my agenda.  One is fine by PC Police standards and the other is racist.  So here we go:

"There are more black males in prisons in this country than any other demographic."
This is not racist.

"Black males more than any other demographic in this country commit crimes."
This is racist.

So here is how this works.  In saying the prison thing we have left the deal somewhat open ended and bed wetting liberals can talk about how unjust our courts are and how the war on drugs is racist.  The committing crimes line however allows for almost no wiggle room and is therefore racist.

Now I suppose I could just say scrambling QBs are busts and that would be more PC but the only two QBs who have been considered scrambling or duel threat that have had the ultimate success in the NFL are white (S.Young and J. Elway).  Therefore to say scrambling instead of black scrambling would be factually inaccurate.  So what is the deal?  Well it is pretty simple.....from coaches to GMs to broadcasters--- the football powers that be are huge racists.  Here is an example.

Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick are contemporaries.  McNabb is a fairly accurate passer, throws and alright deep ball, and has excellent scrambling ability.  Vick is the pinnacle of the running or athletic or duel threat QB.  He is faster than most running backs, he has Barry Sanders like moves, he has great field vision, and he has a rocket for an arm.  The NFL couldn't heap enough love and lust upon Vick.  McNabb on the other hand gets hit with the black QB tag from Rush Limbaugh and then on the back side is criticized by black former players and black members of the sports media for trying to play too"White".  Popular football knowledge used to be that you need whites for certain positions (thinking positions) and blacks for certain positions (instinct positions).  So here is what most coaches from Pop Warner to the NFL want:
A White QB
A White Center
A White Middle Linebacker
A White Tackle on the QB's blind side
Black Corner Backs
Black Defensive Ends
Black Running Backs

Every other position is essentially open to anyone.  Since the QB position is the most high profile position in the NFL there began a campaign to push for the acceptance of the black QB.  However, the black QB only exists within set boundaries and those boundaries are as a running QB.  Was anyone more unfairly ignored, under valued, and unappreciated in the history of the NFL than Warren Moon?  Moon was a black man who played QB like a white man (and did it very well might I add).  Was any player given the keys to kingdom in quite the same fashion as Michael Vick when he had done absolutely nothing to deserve it?

Can a black man play QB at a high level in the NFL?  Of course. 
Can a black man play QB at a high level in the NFL while also remembering to only play it like a black QB and not a white QB?  No he will fail every time.
Why was Vince Young built up so by the media before the 06' draft and Tim Tebow under constant attack before the 2010 draft?  Both were duel threat QBs, both were inaccurate passers, both had weak arms, both had long awkward mechanics.  Yong fit the NFL mold but Tebow did not.....is that racist.
The cover of the current Madden Football game has Peyton Hillis on the cover.  Why is that?  Well because there was an Internet bracket based vote by the fans of the Madden game to pick the cover boy.  Did Hillis win because he was a better than average power runner or because he was essentially the only starting white running back in the NFL and mostly white people voted?  Is that racist?
Whites have slowly begun to break down the wall that prevents them from playing running back and defensive end.  Blacks have busted down the middle linebacker and offensive tackle walls.  Blacks have made great strides in breaking down the wall that keeps them from playing center.  There are however two walls that do not look to be broken down any time soon and that is the black corner back and the white quarter back.  The black corner back is, believe it or not, far more complex of an issue.  The white QB however is pretty straight forward.  The NFL is designed for pro style pocket passers and from flag football to pop warner to jr high to high school to college to the NFL there exists a culture and a pressure to force white QBs to play a certain way and black QBs another way.  This culture sets the black QB up for failure every time.....but just don't actually say that because then you are a racist.

MIKE SLIVE IS OUT!!

Slive is out because our very own CCRider has announced his official candidacy for Commissioner of the SEC.  We now turn our blog over to CC.


"Thank you so much.  In this time of much trepidation and maligning we have few consistent institutions by which to set our moral compass.  One such institution for the people of the South is the South Eastern Conference of Intercollegiate Athletics.  This institution is currently under attack and may not survive the relentless attack of Yankee Mike Slive.  With this in mind I feel as if my country has not asked but has rather demanded that someone step forward and save the SEC.  I humbly present myself for your consideration and your vote.  CCRider for SEC Commissioner together we can save the SEC!  Below you will find my "Contract With the SEC" in which you will see my plan to save the SEC.  As for Mike Slive....I am putting you on blast notice homeboy.  You just moved from neutral ally to hostile threat!"

CONTRACT WITH THE SEC
1.       Repeal Missouri-CareMissouri is neither Southern nor Eastern and therefore is unequivocally barred from participating in any activities with South and eastern in the name.  CCRider will sign an executive order effective immediately that will not only remove Missouri but will also place the following stipulations on any new member of the SEC:
a)      To become a member of the SEC your school’s main physical campus must be located within a State that officially seceded from the Union.
b)      To become a member of the SEC nine out of ten restaurants located within a 1 mile radius of the campus must have sweet tea on the menu.
c)       To become a member of the SEC at least 85% of your female students must pass the Z-Metts tat-tat firmness test.
The following schools will be considered for the 14th slot:
                -Virginia
                -Virginia Tech
                -North Carolina
                -NC State
                -Florida State
-Clampsun (but not really….we will just pretend to get their hopes up and then ignore them)


2.       End All Recruiting RegulationsThis is the SEC and half of the fun is the flamboyant recruiting tactics.  Cheating is not really cheating in the SEC so why not get with the program here in 2012 and just let coaches and programs do what they want.
3.       All Rivalry Games Will Be Permanent- We CAN and we WILL save these games.
4.       Full Time Professional Officials- We have the money.
5.       A Real SEC Network- Not a joint deal with some network but a real channel that carries football games all day Saturday, baseball, and basketball games.  Oh and also that hunting show from the late 1990’s with Will Clark , a live Sunday Morning feed from Cam Newton’s Daddy’s Church aka the Chizik Tabernacle, and a cooking show starring Fat Phil Fulmer.
6.       No More Title 9-  Title 9 is gayer than the big gay Ole Miss Bear.  Plus all those bull-dykes are wasting football scholarships……not that it will matter under a Rider Administration because there will be no scholarship limits (see plank 2).
7.       The Return of Colonel Reb-  It’s simple Ole Miss….. bring back the Colonel or send a membership request to Conf. USA.
8.       Banana Pudding Milkshakes Year Round at Chick-Fil-A- Commissioner Rider will work hand in hand with Mr. Cathy to replace the “limited time only” tag from the BP Milkshake and make it an “Unlimited Time” offer.
9.       A Banning of All Fake Country Music-    The following allegedly “Country” acts will not be allowed in person or on the radio in or around any SEC stadium:
-Kenny Chesney
-Jason Aldean
-Big and Rich
-Sugarland
-Taylor Swift
-Cowboy Troy
-Tim McGraw
-Faith Hill
-Lady Antebellum
-And others as determined by how douchie their music is.


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Big Dust on a Tuesday? Yes Please!

***BREAKING NEWS ON THE SEC*** That's Right Breaking News and We Will Have It First


Now we do not pretend to be any sort of reputable news outlet or anything.  In fact we are adamant about being nothing more than a humor/opinion blog.  However, we do have a handful of sources and a few are in Birmingham (who are not aware of our blogging identities but will be soon enough).  This story was just leaked to us but since it is legit we are actually going to do some of the dreaded research to confirm a few things before just running with it (a la the Red and Black). 

Just as a teaser to wet your appetite we may be effectively looking at the end a rather long and storied career in the SEC!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Eastbound and Down Episode 2 Review...Spoiler Alert it was Awesome



Now normally I would be crying foul about last night's episode.  A white Southerner who lives in a Plantation home and fires a civil war era cannon at people while screaming out "Old South" is terribly racist and offensive to white Southerners.  However, in my heart of hearts I know that I was more jealous than offended.  I wish I had a civil war era cannon to shoot at people while screaming out "Old South"....that would be awesome.

Here is a Negative Post on Mark Richt---Bring Your Hatred Richt-O-Philes!

Did I miss something?

Do I need to take the day off and drive up to Athens so that I can see the National Title trophy that I missed us win this January?

I assume we won a National Title because of the way Richtie-Poo is talking out on the off-season tour......wait what is that......no we didn't.......well at least we finished the year strong with tons to build on.....wait what is that.....no....we got embarrassed in the SEC title game and then......WHAT....we LOST to a big slow team in our bowl game?

Oh that's fine--- after all this is Georgia not LSU or Bama or Florida.........Ten wins is just as good as it is ever going to get and the sooner you accept that the happier you will be.  I think most of you in the "Fire Richt" camp have missed a few very important issues:
1. Demanding Championships is absurd.  No coach could consistently compete for National Titles at any school in the SEC......well except for Bear Bryant, Spurrier at Florida, Saban at LSU, Miles, Urban, and Saban again at Bama.  
2. Richt is a good Christian man!  Which as we all know has a direct correlation to winning football games right Rick Santorum?

"Heyyyyyyy...shamelessly pandering to religious zealots in order to get or keep a job that you are unqualified for or are failing at.  I hear ya' Mark Richt."
 This past Friday at the Macon Touchdown Club in true religious-pimp fashion Richt threw in a little church humor:
Parishioners would tell Richt, “I’m praying for you brother.” Then they started 0-2, and Richt said it became, “We’re fasting for you, brother.” “So I said, ‘Wow we better win some games, or else people are gonna starve around here,’ ” he said.
 Huh......so at no point in time did he think "I better win or else I will be fired"  he was just worried about the fans not eating enough.  Do you see the problem here?  Four losses in a season is NOT A SUCCESS!!!!!!
You continue to have accomplished a fresh steaming pile of NOTHING!  If Neil Bortz can call Al Sharpton a race pimp then I can call people like Richt and Santorum religion-pimps. Yet do you see how content, smug, and defiantly unable to strive for greatness Richt really is. 
“Anybody hear ever heard of the hot seat?” Richt said, drawing laughter.
Who the F' laughed at that?  I'll tell you who RICHT-O-PHILES!  You know why they laughed?  Because of their unrestrained pleasure and raging boners in regards to the idea of keeping some absurd image in place as the HC of the Dawgs and simultaneously ensuring that Alabama, LSU, and Florida continue to dwarf us in football. 
"OHHHHH...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.....HAHAHHAHAHAH..DID YOU SEE WHAT THE BELOVED DID THERE?  HE POKED FUN AT THE CRAPPY JOB HE WAS DOING.  SURE HE BEAT A BUNCH OF BAD TEAMS AND GOT BEAT BY ALL THE GOOD TEAMS WE PLAYED BUT THOSE ARE JUST SILLY DETAILS.  HE IS SO MORAL AND JUST AND ETHICAL..... ALL MORAL VICTORIES WE CAN HANG OUT HATS ON WHEN WE LOSE THREE GAMES THIS YEAR!  HOW DELIGHTFUL.....WE ARE ALL THE SCUM OF THE EARTH ARE WE NOT, GENTLEMEN!" ~Random Richt-O-Phile in Macon on Friday night.
So the war against Richt-O-Philia rages on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnn.

We Start the "Dear Colts Take Ben Jones #1 Overall" Campaign!

In 1998 the Colts.....the horrible, horrible, horrible Colts took a four year starter from the SEC.  The Colts took one of the best pure passing prospects in 25 years.  The Colts took a hard working kid with a big enough pedigree to win the Westminster Kennel Club.  The Colts became a brand on this kid's shoulders.  Peyton has won the MVP almost every other year since 1998.  Peyton has taken the Colts to numerous play-off runs, AFC championship games, and two Superbowls.  Peyton had a real case for the MVP in 2011 without taking a snap.  Why?  Simple....the Colts went from a play-off team to the Duke Bluedevils in one off-season with essentially the same team.....oh yeah except they didn't have Peyton.  Manning is arguable--no scratch that---Peyton is the best player in the NFL(Please don't bring the Brady argument here he is a system QB and has never carried the Pats on his back).
Since the Colts are obviously STUPID  they will be picking number one overall for the next 5 to 8 years and the Washington Redskins are about to be a play-off team.  So what world beaters are coming up that are soooooooo freakin awesome the Colts are going to deal the best QB/Player in the NFL?  How about this guy?
MOUTH BREATHER

Who invited this white Erkle kid?  Close your mouth son it makes your breath stink.
CLASSIC BLACK/RUNNING/FUTURE BUST QB

Of course the Colts could be pumping these two kids up so that they can trade the #1 overall pick for a King's ransom and give Peyton some tools to work with......tools like Trent Richardson with the 4th overall pick after trading down with the Browns.  Then again I doubt the Colts are that awesome because they hired some douche to be the new GM when the Cold Blooded Ones were available to come in and re-vamp that failing franchise.  Trading away a legend for the hope of a PAC 12 QB or a Black Running QB makes about as much sense as a bluegrass cover of Snoop Dogg performed by Muppets.


So why not ensure that the most valuable neck in the NFL is always safe and secure?  Why not give Peyton a mantastic crotch to place his priceless hands under?  We here at S&G would like to start the BEN JONES #1 Campaign right here right now!  Don't screw this thing up Indy......DRAFT BEN JONES!

I think I just found the cover of the 2012 Colts "Program Guide"!


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Good luck to Trinton Sturdivant

with the combine going on, Seth Emerson has a story on someone that could have been there, but is moving on with his life. Good luck to the young man, and if anyone is hiring in the world of finance, he might be a good free agent signing.

Good recruiting weekend?

Dawgbark certainly seems excited, and we've already snagged one much needed potentially instant impact DB, in a JUCO out of Warner Robins, Steven Nelson. He's an explosive CB from reports, who will enroll early, and just may redshirt this year to save 3 to play 3 if College of the Sequioas is agreeable to the plan.

I said it's great, to beat, the Florida Gators



Talk about unexpectedly beautiful. Great win yesterday, and thank you sir may I have another Nemi Djurisic? That's the consistent flashes we've been waiting for from you.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Last night's basketball

This ain't horse shoes or hand grenades, so it's another loss. We played close, played good D, but we are close to wins, yet still so far away after countless times failing to capitalize when chances were presented. Not much time left before we are out of our misery on this disappointing year.

But at least baseball is still undefeated.

T Kyle King is becoming an ornery old man

and we love him for it. From his morning round up....
don’t try telling me Yankees don’t drive south for the winter; they do, in droves, and I see tons of them on I-75. They don’t like being up there any better than the rest of us do, so they should thank us for the chance to get the heck out of there. If they want to host home games in December, they need to secede and petition Canada for annexation. Being the tolerant (read: indifferent) sorts that we are, we’d let ‘em go without burning anybody’s home town to the ground.



The morning papers: Speed, speed, and more speed. Yes please.

Seth Emerson gives us an update we've all wanted, on the possibility of DB Mario Alford, and a little on OL transfer Max Garcia too.

Garcia has now been allowed to transfer to Vandy, where former Maryland assistant James Franklin runs the show, that is possibly depending on how the tampering charges Maryland is running against him go. Georgia is closer to home, and the more successful program, but Franklin has gotten Vandy up to mediocre and Garcia would see the field much easier there than he would in Athens where by the time he'd play, we'd be returning all 5 starters and their backups from the year before.

The more pressing need is Alford, who could add much needed depth to the secondary immediately.
"They are conversing," GMC head coach Bert Williams said on Wednesday. "To my knowledge, he does not officially have (an offer) extended. But that possibility is there."
...
"I told him, from an athletic standpoint, this is a guy that I think you could be looking for," Williams said. "Now, you've basically gotta look at his atlhetic skills and see if he could be what you want. ... He's got the top-end skills. he's quick, he's shifty.


And Gentry Estes brings us the likelihood of adding a speed expert to the staff. As we've said all along about Coach T, for all the good he brings in his position, he lacks a technical expertise. Well, this guy can help bring that, especially on the much needed ability to run fast. There'd be another spot to fill, with NCAA max on S&C staff set at 5, and the Dawgs sitting at 4 when/if Armstrong is hired.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Few Days Late.....Our Review of East Bound and Down Season 3 Episode 1

GREATNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kenny F'in Powers + K-Mart by the Sea = Television Magic!

The Lucid Idiocy Blog Asks a Very Important Question.

Now we don't.....well we rarely ever.....well usually we disagree with the Lucid Idiocy blog.....no scratch that.  Usually the Lucid Idiocy Blog disagrees with us.  We have had disagreements as to what is and what is not racist and who is the better fan; the blind supporter or the Cold Blooded Demander of Excellence.  Also, apparently LI majored in English or sumthin' and our often grumaticully inkorect writings make his skin crawl.  That said we are all Dawgs are we not?  I place LI right beside people like our hero Ben Dukes....they really believe what they believe and it just ain't always what we believe.  We love Big Ben, LI, and all the "real" fans.  Without them where would we be?  We would be like Skeletor without He-Man......sure we would rule Eternia but that would get old eventually.


Anyway LI has posed a very valid question here.

The gist of the question is this:
When your superior sperm produces a male off-spring what is the appropriate time to place him on a weight lifting regime, punch him in the face, and have him wrestle wild boars to the death?

A little over six years ago my sperm finished the job and made a male child....female children are the same only they lack a penis so they are incomplete humans.  My wife asked "What do you want to name him?"  I immediately said "Evil".  Naturally my wife's lack of a penis is synonymous with her mind not being fully developed.  As a result my wife hated the name Evil.  I went so far as to say to her "Ok, picture this.....I make crowd noises.....Number 66 EVIL RIDER Makes the Tackle!"  She then told me that the way our child's name will sound over the PA systems in SEC stadiums should have no bearing on what name we select.  I immediately drafted divorce paper work as I assumed we had reached the dreaded "irreconcilable differences".  Also, when she was pregos and I would sneak up on her with a needle full of a Pheno/Deca/D-Ball/Test cocktail and she would start yelling "STOP TRYING TO INJECT MY STOMACH WITH ANABOLIC STEROIDS!
Well needless to say my plan was to punch the male child in the face the moment he exited the birth canal so as to break his nose and then have it heal up all crazy looking.....oh and also to cause his front two teeth to never grow in properly.  Now that may sound drastic but understand I am attempting to groom an inside line backer so a menacing face may not be necessary for your male child.

Now that is what a Line Backer is supposed to look like!


This just in: The Red and Black still publishes blithering idiots who have no idea what they are talking about

We say so, because of this article, thankfully brought to our attention by the good folks at Sugar Falling.

Let's analyze the idiocy of Ms. Morris, FMJ style, shall we?
Mark Richt handed down a two-game suspension to Sanders Commings last Wednesday following Commings’ Jan. 21 arrest for simple battery.

Sounds simple enough right? Misdemeanor crime, some punishment.
Though I’m sure the details of the crime are better known to Richt than to myself, I have to question the rationale behind the meager suspension for a charge of assault on a woman when stronger actions have been taken for arguably less severe crimes.

Read that first part again. Essentially, though she doesn't have a damn clue about anything that happened, and the man who made the decision has a much, MUCH more intricate knowledge of what did happen, I'm gonna go ahead and run my mouth about it even though I'm completely ignorant of the situation.
... There are multiple witnesses in the case, and none of the accounts makes light of the incident. Yet Richt found two games to be sufficient punishment for Commings.

Again, he has been able to get a little more detail about the incident, than both the writer, and the "multiple witnesses" who were in downtown Athens in the wee hours, intoxicated, and we all know just how reliable drunken 20 yr olds are as sources of information. In a police report, that if there was actually enough evidence, both the ACC-PD and Solicitor's office have always shown a willingness to prosecute fully, have never pulled a Cervone, yet felt the reports were only worth a misdemeanor simple battery and not any of the much more serious charges warranted in cases of domestic violence.
Commings recently neglected to make himself eligible for the NFL in lieu of finishing his senior season at UGA. He started all 14 games last year for the University and tied for fourth on the team with 55 tackles — there is no doubt he is a huge asset to the team.

This has nothing to do with anything. Not on the point of domestic violence, nor on how Mark Richt hands out punishment as he has shown time and time and time again in a very long history of handing out punishment.
I am a Georgia football fan and would love to see a winning season in 2012, but it should not come at the cost of downplaying the seriousness that is violence against women.

It isn't, but glad you could climb up on that high horse to say something that was never in doubt in the first place.
Using Commings as an example, Richt has effectively told the rest of his players that not only is beating a woman OK if you don’t get caught,
Say what? I couldn't even begin to know about how to respond to how stupid that statement is. But let's continue, maybe she'll make a point that isn't idiotic and ignorant.
...but even if you do, you’ll only sit two games. Not only is this particular punishment shamefully light, but the fact that Richt has taken other arrests more seriously in the past again speaks to his devaluation of this crime.

Nope, she didn't.
Many fans will remember former quarterback Zach Mettenberger, who was completely dismissed from the football team following an arrest for five misdemeanor charges, including underage possession/consumption of alcohol, resisting/obstructing arrest and false identification.

These fans will also remember that part of Mettenbergers arrest was due to his treatment of a woman. So yeah, let's completely ignore that part of his crimes, because it doesn't coincide with the idiotic, ignorant, and incorrect point I'm trying to make. And let's ignore the fact that Mettenberger was a possible starting QB, so you were saying about valuing winning above appropriate punishments for significant wrongdoing?
Nick Marshall and Sanford Seay are two freshmen who were released just weeks ago for reportedly stealing from another UGA player. Freshman Chris Sanders was also released for “violation of team rules” according to Richt, but the law was not involved in any of the three men’s cases.

So let's again attempt to speak ignorantly about something on which we have absolutely no knowledge of any details, but can use as a general statement to cast idiotic and ignorant claims in an attempt to make a misguided point.
Good to know that beating a woman is worse than illegal drugs but not as bad as carrying a fake ID, underage consumption of alcohol or stealing.

And you draw this conclusion how? Oh, right, by being completely ignorant of the situations you are attempting to draw conclusions from. Good stuff.
I think Mark Richt needs to take a good, hard look at the “code of conduct” and “team rules” he sets for his players. What he says and does speak volumes about his priorities as a coach.

That's right, it does. Perhaps you need to take a good hard look yourself, considering you clearly have no idea what priorities he has shown repeatedly and consistently over more than a decade that would make your entire ignorant and idiotic rant look like, well, an ignorant and idiotic rant.

Glad to know that the Red and Black still hasn't changed, and neither has the moronic fools that get editorials published.

Your SEC Draft Preview Part 1.....Top 5 Draft Day Rules!

Now that the boring quasi-Arena Bowl season that is the NFL is over we can get to the most exciting part of the NFL......the Draft!

I love the Draft because it is yet another bit of indisputable evidence as to the overall superiority of the SEC in all aspects of the game of organized football.  There is all sorts of excitement coming our way in the next few weeks.  Things like:

The "Mel Kiper Hedge"
What is the MK-Hedge you ask?  Simple!  Kiper will spend the next few weeks talking up Big Ten and Big 12 players.  You will think that these guys hung the moon by the time Ol" Kiper is done.  Of course Mel will always be given a 2 minute spot on Sports Center where he slobs all over the collective nobs of these Big 10 and 12 players.......then just as they are about to cut to commercial Mel will say something like"
"Of course insert SEC player name here could be the better player and could be the first player at this position drafted."  Then when the Draft rolls around and the SEC player is picked first ESPN will cut the clip and only show the part where MK gave the SEC player love. 

Anyway for the first story in our NFL/Arena League 2012 Draft we will revive and rehash one of our original stories about the five Cardinal Rules of drafting players:

1. Thou Shall Not Draft Big 10 Linebackers:
Big 10 LB's are soft, weak, slow, injury prone, poor tacklers, and have over-inflated college stats. The main reason 98% of the world doesn't realize this is because Kirk Herbskreet, Mark May, and Lee Corso, have inexplicably established themselves as "experts" in college football. Herbskreet, May, and Corso all have one thing in common...a massive case of SEC envy. Every year we are forced to hear about how ferocious some kid from Ohio State or Penn State is and how the world had better look out because Andy Katzenmoyer/A.J. Hawk/Bobby Carpenter/Dan Connor/Paul Posluszny/James Laurinaitis/Vernon Gholston/Sean Lee is the second coming of Dick Butkus. However, all of these linebackers have one thing in common; they get owned against almost any SEC team they play in their bowl games (ahhhheeemmmmmm “almost” looking at you Arkansas 2011 Sugar Bowl and Georgia 2012 Capital One Bowl), and when they get to the NFL all they can do is get to the play late, grab the back of a player’s jersey, and hold on until help arrives.
2. Thou Shall Not Draft Big 10 Running Backs
The Big 10 produces great Offensive Line talent and has absolutely no Defensive Line talent, therefore Big 10 running backs get spotted three yards on every carry. Since the D-lines are so awful they never make tackles and that responsibility falls to Big 10 LB's (another reason for the over-inflated draft value of Big 10 LBs). The running backs win 50% of the time and the LBs 50% of the time and the result is that both the LBs and the RBs have over-inflated numbers.
Big Tenlevinie running backs are SSSSLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWW! They are also injury prone because they spent three to four years playing patty cake with Big 10 linebackers and get a serious case of the "I don't wants to plays no mores" the first time they take a hit from Patrick Willis. Naturally none of this matters to Herbskreet and his gang because every year we get to hear about how Ohio State/Penn State/ Michigan/Wisconsin should get a chance to play for the national title despite having 1, 2, or 3 losses during the season because those losses came when Ki-Jana Carter/Tim Biakabatuka/Ron Dayne/Mike Hart/Larry Johnson/Beeanie-Weenie Wells was hurt and the fill in the blank Big 10 team is completely different when their running back is healthy.
Patrick "Beast-Man" Willis the Freddy Kruger of BIG 10 running backs dreams.
3.Thou Shall Not Draft Pac-12 Quarterbacks
This one is easy, eleven out of twelve teams in the Pac-12 have refused to play defense for the past 15 years. Eleven out of twelve teams in the Pac-12 throw the ball 70-80 plays per game. The result is the one team that sorta’ plays D and runs the ball always wins the conference and 5 or 6 QBs average 300 yards passing and 3 TDs per game, and they also average 6 losses a year. When these guys get to the NFL and see SEC and (some ACC) speed on defense they become ineffective.
4. Thou Shall Not Draft Oklahoma Players Unless Thou Wantist a Soft Team
Oklahoma players are always hurt in the NFL. I know Adrian Peterson is a beast but he is always banged-up (and he fumbles...a lot...I mean he cost the vikings a trip to the Super Bowl because he fumbles...a lot and fumbles are the result of being mentally soft). Well AD aside how about The Boz, Teddy Lehman, Jason White, Roy Williams, Tommie Harris who has been hurt for five straight seasons now, the ever-injured Stockar McDougle, Dusty Dvoracek, Dan Cody, Rocky Calmus, and the human concussion machine who had a brief stint at Oklahoma Troy Aikman. Chokelahoma is SOFT but before the Texas fans get overly excited the entire BIG XII is SOFT!
5. Thou Should Always Show Preference to SEC Players
Let’s say you need a quarterback the way the Colts did in 1998. There were two players on the board that played QB. One played at Tennessee in the SEC and the other played at Washington State in the Pac-10. One played a schedule that had eight conference games in which he saw anywhere from five to nine NFL caliber players on defense in each of those eight games. The other played in the PAC-10 so if you combined all his conference and non-conference games he saw as many NFL caliber defenders in 12 games as the SEC player saw in any given two weeks in the SEC. The result is that the SEC player is always more prepared for the rigors of the NFL. The Colts took the SEC player, 4 time MVP, 2 Super Bowl trips, 1 Super Bowl win, the Chargers took the other guy 0 MVP, 0 Super Bowl trips, 0 Super Bowl wins.

Here is a Story About How Much Better Nick Saban is at Football as Compared to Everyone Else.

Saturdays Down South has the article here.

I have a six and a three year old.  As a result the Ol' Rider is often reduced to doing things that......wellllllll.....let me just say are less than "adult" in nature.  Last year I took a week off of work and instead of doing something I wanted to do I spent a week in Disney World Hell.  Instead of spending all of my money on things that I want-- I spend it on crap that they break about 30 minutes after they get it.  Instead of going to lunch at lunch I am often running out to Toys R Us for whatever new wonderfully marketed piece of crap they want.

When you deal with children you cannot approach it as if you are dealing with an adult.  Often times children can be frustrating.  If you have been at work all day dealing with adults it can be difficult to return home and shift gears into the world of a child.  One thing that can help is to stop and say to yourself "Ok, I have to put myself in this child's mindset."  Of course that is much easier if you and the child have the same struggles such as reaching the sink and getting on roller coasters (that was a Nick Saban is short joke and I did it especially for Erk's Forehead who is obsessed with the notion that I am a Bammeroid).  Anyway, puberty does not an adult make and most recruits still have the mind of a child.  It would appear that Saban, more than anyone else, understands the mind of the man-child.

The article focuses on Norcross, GA prospect Alvin Kamara who Saban sent 105 letters to on the same day.  Now I know what you are saying:
1. That is stupid!!!!Who would be impressed with that staged crap?
    - Your answer.....how about a poor black kid who lays his head down in the ghetto at night and dreams about being something more in life?  How about a poor black kid in the ghetto who's grand-mother just counts him as another "guvment" check and wants nothing more than to have someone "want him" and really mean it?  How about Alvin Kamara who said “It’s because they [Alabama] want me,”  or
2. Woooaaahh, whoa, whoa......that is a waste of paper!  How can that work with a black kid?  99.9% of blacks are Democrats and the Dems hate people who waste paper and hurt the environment!
    - Your answer.....your silly environment means nothing when compared to National Titles.

Additionally, DeMarcus Walker from Jacksonville, FL tweetes us through his visit to Tuscaloosa.  Now, I understand that many of our readers are rich, old, white, Republicans who may not understand the slang lingo of a 17 year old black kid.  With that in mind I will write DeMarcus' tweet and then I shall interpret that tweet just below the tweet itself.  Here goes:

TWEET: “Alabama this weekend
Translated: "I am visiting Alabama this weekend.  They have already given me and my granmomma a lot of money and I fully expect to be given more money when I get there."
TWEET: “Headed to Alabama…..Roll Tide!!!”
Translated: "A GA from Bama just got to my Granmomma's house with three skanky white girls and a brown paper Piggly Wiggly bag full of hundred dollar bills for my Granmomma.  I currently favor Alabama because they are giving me more stuff than anyone else right now.  Also, because I grew up without any positive male role models in my life to teach me about loyalty to things like a program.  I am basically an adult body with the brain of a 9 month old who lives in a mindset in which I am the center of the Universe."
TWEET: “Just got threw eating dinner thinking about going out tonight…..roll tide.
Translated: "Coach Saban just took me to a thing called Outback.  They had these people that are sorta' like the people who give you food at the MacDonalds only they keep coming back to bring you bread and more to drink.  Coach Saban called it a "sit down" restaurant.  He left the people who brought bread and drink some cash on the table when we were done.  He called it a "tip"....white people are wild, dog!  Speaking of I really hope that one of those skanky white girls that have been hanging around will give me some later."
TWEET: “Feeling like a King up here Thank u Lord for this life.”
Translated: "One of those skanky white girls just BROKE A BROTHA OFF!!!!!!WHOOT WHOOT! Money and White Girls......Coach Saban is talkin' my language, dog!"
TWEET: “I got a feeling tonights gonna be a good night.”
Translated: "Another skanky white girl just came through, and that same GA just gave me another brown bag of cash.  Then he winked at me and said "That is for you Big Daddy D-Walk....don't tell yo' granmomma."
TWEET: “Clubin”
 Translated: "These rich, white, frat dudes have the craziest weed of all time and they made me a fake ID so I can get into bars.  White people in Jacksonville don't even talk to me!  I love these honkies.....they are ALL rich and they keep spending their money on me without wanting anything in return.  These white folk in Alabama are my true friends!  Yo, Chizik you had better warm-up that check writing hand..........It is going to be hard to top this midget here in Tuscaloosa!"

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Reminder

The Diamond Dawgs play Georgia St in Foley tomorrow at 5. later that evening, on your SEC Network channel, you can watch Georgia men's hoops head down to Red Stick for a game against LSU.

We know nothing about Georgia St baseball, but they may have some random starter who's good, and early season, mid week upsets, are common in college baseball.

LSU men's hoops, the storied program that gave us Pistol Pete, Shaq, and Chris Jackson (aka Mahmoud Abdul-Raouf), we have a little knowledge on. Trent Johnson (Mark Fox's former boss) has rebounded from an abysmal year last season and given unexpected results this year (we hope for a similar situation for his former assistant). They are 6-6 in conference, with outside dreams of an NCAA berth. A loss to us would crush those hopes, as we did to Arkansas. 5'11 freshman G Anthony Hickey has come on strong for them in SEC play. And their best player is 7' big Justin Hamilton, a transfer from Iowa St. Considering their season numbers, expect a slow paced, long scoring, poor shooting game. It'll be ugly, which we do well. Not always well enough to win (see Vandy on Sunday), but we should at least give our fans hopes of a win until some random 8 minute streak of no points kills our chances.

Football position changes

Seth Emerson brings us a bit of roster news, although not the news we'd like of adding a late signee in the form of a DB or OL (or both).

Emerson mentions the long expected, at least around here, move of Ray Drew to DL. He just has that size, and as kids mature, they geet bigger. Drew was near OLB limits on size as a freshman, and like Sterling Bailey, as he matures and continues in S&C, he outgrows the spot and sticks his hand in the mud. He should improve DL depth, allowing Atkins and others to focus on the nose (or perhaps Atkins to shift to OL) and could compete with Garrison Smith for the starting spot opposite Abry Jones.

He also mentions Josh Harvey-Clemons perhaps taking the Ogletree path of starting at S (which depth wise isn't a bad idea) until his body matures and he adds the weight to move closer to the line and play (what we expect to be) ILB once Gilliard, Ogletree, and Robinson graduate. We don't need LBs next year nearly as much as we need S, so it makes a lot of sense from a temporary depth chart perspective.

And finally, on the not surprising roster moves, is Richard Samuel to FB. With Gurley and Crowell and Marshall, among others, at TB, and just Xander Ogletree and a true freshman in Hicks, at FB, the depth chart screams for this move, as does Samuel's unnatural ball carrier history. Richt notes he's still a TB "right now", which may be precautionary depending on how Crowell, and Boo Malcome and Carlton Thomas have had off the field issues, but if all TBs on the roster return, a move for the now heavier Samuel to FB seems inevitable.

Monday, February 20, 2012

What the hell is taking so long on Mario Alford?

that is all. We have the need, either at WR or DB depending on where the staff feels he's best. We have the room. What's the deal here?

Baseball sweeps Presbyterian to get the season going

The Diamond Dawgs opened the season dominating the Blue Hose for the most part this weekend. The compiled score for the 3 games would be 22-5 (yeah for Easton bats!), with 34 hits to Presbyterian's 18, and dominating outings from Alex Wood Friday, the bullpen Saturday, and a committee of arms Sunday. Aside from the 2010 disaster, Perno's pups have done their best in even years, so 2012 may have the chance to be something special.

Their season continues Wednesday, when Georgia St comes to Foley Field at 5, before a weekend series at home against Winthrop.

How much leash is left on Mark Fox?

CorbinDawg brings up an interesting topic for discussion today. He recaps a conversation regarding current basketball coach Mark Fox, and his increasingly insecure job status. Now, as the preeminent Fire the Coach website in the Dawg blogosphere, we couldn't let this slide without some sort of commentary.

All in all, we agree 100% with Corbin. Mark Fox, despite a disappointing season, and increasingly disappointing season, can not be let go within the next 12 months, if not longer. Now, there are some excellent coaches possible to be had if we're willing to pay them at or near Mark Richt money (cough*JoshPastner*cough) who've proven they can recruit with the best out there and also coach a little game too. But that's a discussion for another day, if and when an unfortunate time comes.

We've gone on record with our like of Mark Fox. He's a good coach to our eyes, although warts have certainly been shown this season as well as in the past. And considering the long unstable and lacking support environment surrounding Georgia men's basketball, you have to give the man an honest opportunity to fail before pulling the trigger on his tenure. Hell, Dennis Felton got 6 years of showing complete incompetence before we parted ways, and while his recruiting may not be any better, Fox's coaching and PR skills have been vast improvements over his predecessor.

But that recruiting is an issue. We've said it before, and we'll say it again, regarding the tie between coaching and recruiting, the best driver in the world ain't winning Talladega in a Honda Accord. You have to have the horses to succeed in college basketball, and that's recruiting. You need coaching too, but having talent to work with can cover up coaching issues (see Billy Donovan at Florida) a lot easier than coaching can cover up talent issues. And therein lies Fox's biggest concern. We disagree with Corbin in the sense that we think there is a growing discord with this staff and that increasing number of the relatively very small contingent of basketball fans are not pleased and getting concerned with the direction of the program. But that is not the same as saying a coach should go.

Plain and simple, Georgia has long had issues with men's basketball. A big part of those issues are an obvious lack of support administratively and a willingness to cut and run at the first sign of trouble, often hurting the kids within the program. By cutting Fox loose this soon, we continue that pattern of cut and run behavior and lacking support through difficult times. But make no mistake, this is a difficult time. We have a problem in terms of talent with this team, and while there are some solid role players in the incoming recruiting class, we have yet to land a star aside from Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, and whiffed in a huge way on a very talented group in 2012 despite being in prime position to pounce on that class. We desperately need to reload with a talented 2013 class to get things back on track.

And again, that's the issue, can we recruit those 2013 kids, after whiffing so badly in 2012? Do we have the connections as a staff with the people we need to have relationships with in state and in Atlanta, to get the talent we need to succeed? Mark Fox has done a good job cleaning up the mess he was left with, but is he the right coach to take this program out of the problems of its past? We just can't say right now. What we can say is that things aren't working, and changes (perhaps to his staff, or perhaps in the way his staff operates) need to be made to correct the current failures.

We have a good group of role players developing, around a legit star in Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. What we don't have is a second star to complement KCP or for him to complement, and a confidence that things will continue to improve in the future.

Friday, February 17, 2012

DBT! DBT! DBT! DBT!

Baseball's back this weekend, and what goes better with the slow game than some good drinking. So in green house tradition, we'll start this weekend with some drinking songs from their recent stint at the 40 Watt.





Highlights of Yulee RB Derrick Henry: The next Brandon Jacobs?

Hedges to Hardwood notifies us of a highlight reel for 2013 commit Derrick Henry.

The clips are just sick (competition for the small school in Yulee?), especially starting around the 45 second mark, where on one play he shrugs off defenders Earl Campbell style before leaving everyone in his dust. And then on the following play, he pulls a Barry Sanders-like scramble around the backfield to get all 11 after you before turning a corner and pulling away.

The skill is clearly there, and while he looks a bit thin on the film for someone 240+, his size is a intriguing factor for his position. Tailback might be the only spot on the football field where all else being equal, shorter is better. Low center of gravity and hiding behind lineman before bursting loose being part of the reasons. You see a lot of TBs in the 5'9-5'11 range. You rarely see them in Henry's 6'3+ height. Adrian Peterson, Eddie George, and Brandon Jacobs are amongst the few who can be successful at that height. His size reminds a bit of the manbeast that is Jacobs (who looks as big as some of his New York Giant OL teammates), and his upright running style of Eddie George. George was very successful for a long time before that style, which leads to a lot of hard hits, finally took it's toll and he physically just couldn't do it anymore. As great as Henry looks, is his height a serious concern for his long term success?

Weekend starters

Roger Clarkson has a nice article on former freshman All-SEC performer Colby May making the transition to 1B from 3B, and attempts to refind his past success. And another on the unusual amount of seniors on the roster.

He also lists the weekend starters for the series againsst Presbyterian, starting tonight at 5:30.
Southpaw Alex Wood goes tonight. Michael Palazzone Saturday, followed by Taylor Hicks on Sunday.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

And while we're on the subject of baseball

Don't forget, the Diamond Dawgs have opening day tomorrow night against Presbyterian. Let the Green House get to rocking again!

Better news: Eastbound and Down is back Sunday night

The third and final season of Eastbound and Down begins Sunday night on HBO, with our hero, Kenny Powers enjoying the Redneck Riviera that is Myrtle Beach. We've been looking forward to this even more than the soon return of Game of Thrones in April.


Don't Embarrass Yourself, Son! This Week Is Becoming JB Week

Just like all heterosexual men over the age of 21 I had never heard of Bruno Mars before I was told that he tried to dress and dance like James Brown at the Grammy's earlier this week. 

You can dress like Soul Brotha #1 but please don't embarrass yourself past that kid.

Sanders Commings Suspended.........Native Americans Are People To You Know!

We will be without Sanders against Buffalo and Missouri.......well that ain't too bad at least we won't lose him against a Conference opponent......wait what.......Missouri?  In the SEC?  That's crazy talk.

Most disturbing about this story is:
a) We suspended a starter with no "real" NCAA violation, and
b) The Native American culture and way of life is still, in 2012, being oppressed.

Sanders is a young brave in the Slapahoe tribe and his culture dictates that when shawtys be trippin they be gettin a fat lippin.

It's crazy how much our quaint little blog affects the day to day life of the Georgia program.  Yesterday we drop a little James Brown love and next thing you know we lose a starter for Gettin' Up Offa That Thang JB style and disciplining his mouthy woman.

For real though...these Hoes be trippin, dog!



In a battle of incompetence, South Carolina wins

well, that was ugly. The old Georgia team showed back up, the one that struggles to rebound, where Gerald Robinson makes horrible decisions like he did with 11 seconds left, and the team goes a Felton-like 5+ minutes without scoring.

At least we had last week.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Get them tickets! Hartman Fund Deadline is today

so if you're ordering season tickets, today is your cut down day.

Maryland LT Max Garcia may transfer to Georgia? Doubtful.

It was in the AJC the other day. Basically, Max Garcia is joining the mass exodus away from Randy Edsall and the dumpster fire that is Maryland (who shoulda hired Mike Leach when they had the chance, pansies). But a quality OL is looking for a new home, and we could always use some OL. Garcia isn't ideal LT size, but he's done a good job there for the Terrapins the last two years, and could probably be effective anywhere on the OL. he's said he wants to transfer closer to home, and with Edsall restricting all ACC schools, plus Vanderbilt just to be a petty dick since they have former Maryland HC in waiting James Franklin making him look bad and his hire stupid, that makes Georgia an option. Richt has made contact, so there is mutual interest, and a quality OL would be a great addition.

That said, I just don't see us becomming his school of choice. Maybe South Carolina or Tennessee, since Tech isn't an option. But if Garcia factors in playing time, we just don't have it. At least not right away. If he has some family medical issues that would make him eligible to play immediately, it'd be a great fit, and he could start at LT letting John Theus redshirt. But if not, and he had to have a mandatory redshirt season, that just leaves too much competition. In that scenario, by the time he could play in 2013, we'd have a sophomore Theus probably locked in at LT, returning SRs at LG and RG in Dallas Lee and Chris Burnette. A returning starter at C in David Andrews, and a returning starter at RT in Watts Dantzler, or Kenarious Gates, or Mark Beard. And whoever of those 3 wasn't starting at RT would give solid depth, along with the Xzavier Ward and Zach Debell as more prototypical tackles, plus the Long brothers, Pyke, maybe Kolton Houston, and several others.

It'd been great if we landed Garcia out of high school. Or if we could have landed him before last year. He'd still be a good fit if he could play right away giving us the luxury of redshirting Theus (and as good as he is, every lineman can benefit from redshirting). But as it looks, this seems like something that just isn't a good fit, and I'd think he ends up at an SEC school in a bordering state (UT, SC, Aub, or Fla).

Basketball, tonight, in Soda City vs. the Chicken Penii, 7 pm on CSS

That's right, the headline says it all. We play at South Carolina tonight on CSS at 7.

Darrin Horn is doing a wonderful job over in Columbia, or at least all opposing coaches think he's doing a wonderful job, and you should not only keep him around, but lock him up on a new 10 year extension Eric Hyman.

Georgia is coming off back to back wins for the first time since Winthrop and Delaware St in late December, so we're feeling good right about now. Gerald Robinson is becoming more effecient, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is blasting through that freshman wall like the KoolAid man, and our big men are starting to work the glass. Fox's hounds are playing by far the best they have all year, after bursting Arkansas' bubble, then upsetting a top 20 and very talented Mississippi St in Starkville (and has there ever been a better name for a town considering stark means "harsh, grim, or desolate, as a view, place, etc"). So not only are we warming up, but the Poultry are cooling off.

South Carolina has lost their last 5 games, and 9 of their last 10, with their only W being a buzzer beater against the inconsistent Alabama. As for their roster, since WR Bruce Ellington rejoined the team after football season, they've added someone who can work from the outside. He'll be a good matchup for Gerald Robinson. They struggle offensively in a big way, and struggle rebounding the ball in a big way. So if we revert back to our form from 2 weeks ago, it'll be a contest to see who's the most incompetent. If we play like we have the last week, it could be a blowout. Of note, they have two players Fox recruited very hard, in sophomore C Damontre Harris and freshman wing Damien Leonard. So it's not like they don't have talent. It's not great, but they have solid players. Coaching has been a huge issue, and if they weren't hurt up for cash after building a new baseball stadium and leveraging several other facilities improvements in the last few years, Horn would be as good as gone within 30 days. But they are South Carolina, and always lack the cash to play with the big boys, so Horn's buyout is something they can't afford, and they'll just suffer for another year or two unless a big Chicken wants to cut a big check.

Get Up Offa That Thang!

And dance till you feel better!  It's Wednesday and I just found this awesome pic of the Godfather!

Call the Augusta Mall and Ask Them Why They Hate the Georgia Bulldogs So Much!

In fact call them right now at (706) 733-1001. Or click here to send them a stern e-mail.
J.B. White store at the Regency Mall.  Back when a mall was a mall and before Dillards fagged up the Whites.
Augusta used to be just like Chris Rock says-- a place that has two malls "the mall white people go to and the mall that white people used to go to."  The mall that white people used to go to in Augusta was the Regency Mall.  Now as you can imagine I am not a big fan of malls on account of my having a penis and everything; but as a kid that grew up with a mother, a young man with girl friends, and now a slightly less young man with a wife I have been in a few over the years.  With those credentials I can safely say that the Regency Mall is the side boobage of all malls.  If you want proof here is undeniable proof as I remember it from childhood:
  1. It had 2 count em' 2 toy stores!  A KB Toys and a Playland Toys, greatness!
  2. It had a pizza place that was a store that you actually walked into with tables and everything.  None of this "food court" pizza crap.
  3. It had an ice cream shop that was a store that you actually walked into with tables and everything.  None of this "food court" ice cream crap.
  4. Everything was painted a soothing and masculine doo-doo brown because brown goes with everything.
  5. It had a store called "Ol' Calcutta" and it sold nunchucks, ninja stars, and basically everything you need to be super awesome.
  6. At Christmas if the line to see Santa was too long you could just head on down to see Rudolph!  Oh, I didn't stutter Rudolph the Motherlovin' Reindeer was all up in that Humpty-Bumpty.  They had a real reindeer inside of a wooden fence with a little red and green barn and if you walked around to the back of the barn there was Rudolph.  One time some kid tried to say it was just a puppet but that dickhead probably didn't get anything for Christmas that year.
Anyway the Regency Mall had one fatal flaw.......it was built within City Bus/1974 Buick Regal driving distance from public housing.  That is white people code for the ghetto.....which is white people code for a bunch of poor black people who don't pay for their housing or food.... so they don't need a job..... so they hang out at the mall all day long committing crimes.  Well long story short the mall tried to stop the buses and they got called racists (just like I am about to be called in the comment section below).  Eventually all that "being within City Bus/1974 Buick Regal driving distance from public housing" caused the department stores to close and resulted in their being nothing left except for 17 different Foot Lockers, a store that sold cheap suits with 11 buttons on the coat, a place called the "Nubian Hair Connection", and a Chinese Restaurant that said it had all sorts of stuff on its menu but really only sold chicken wings and "ernge chicken" (which is surprisingly similar in taste to Orange Chicken).  In the end Augusta was left with a brightly painted mall that had only one toy store and didn't even dabble in the booming nunchuck retail industry.
In fact there are really only three reasons to ever be in the Augusta Mall:
  1. The person who you made an oath to God to be with forever before you read the fine print about her spending all of your money and crushing your spirit makes you go, or
  2. You are about to partake in "business" lunch at the Chop House and yes you do need a receipt because this is about to get wrote the F off of my taxes, or
  3. You need to go into Hometeam Sports to buy something....anything....with a Georgia Bulldog logo on it.
I went in the other day because Mrs. Rider thought it would be okay to put a zebra print shower curtain in my newly completed Man-Cave bathroom again with the fine print. Needless to say you can't be very Cold-Blooded with a zebra print shower curtain....unless of course it is from a real zebra that you hunted and killed on the Serengeti during and African Safari you took with LSU defensive end Barkevious Mingo.  So I went into Hometeam Sports because I needed something (a shower curtain) with a Georgia logo on it.  Of course they had one but they also had a "store closing" sign up as well.  Turns out that Augusta Mall wants a king's ransom for the use of one of their store fronts and Hometeam just can't continue to afford it.  Look Augusta Mall you can't put the squeeze on peoples balls while Barry is up in the White House......everyone is broke.  To make matters worse you are talking about putting the squeeze to people who are doing the Lawrd's work!   Where am I supposed to go to get a Georgia Bulldog back scratcher or framed painting of a baby sitting on a Georgia helmet with a little baby headset on and Larry Munson with angel wings smiling down on him from Heaven at? 
These is hard times Augusta Mall so quit being gigantic queef sniffers and cut Hometeam Sports a break, you are already about 2 Foot Lockers away from being the mall white people used to go to as it is.
Big Dust......tell em about Hard Times!

I Are Plotting A New Offense.

Fiwst off all Me would wike to congwadulate mines good fwiend Wiwwie Mawtinwez cause he has fooweled yet anotter team into giving he a job. 
Wiwwie is uh basebaw genie!  Me are wooking foward to matching wits against such a woofie anniversawee. 
Now evewy otter OC on evewy otter basketball team in da SEC will be frowing da balls against Awwburn.  So I wonduah what Me's pwan will be.................................................what you say?  Wun da baseball tween da tackles..............how for did you guess?   Shhhhhhh.....don't tell anynobodies for da ewament of suwpise are mines gweatest stwengfh.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

4 Star Recruits and Chicken Tortilla Soup........You Doubt the Power of S.Truett Cathy?

Someone told STC that Mexican food is popular right now.  In true Cathy form STC said "ok well I will make something Mexican." The result:

Delicioso, Ole!
Oh it ain't just spicy chicken noodle soup, oh no.  STC takes it to the house Georgia style and gives you a little bag of Doritos to sprinkle on top of the soup.  Clampsun and Mexico are both now on notice that they had best to get their acts together and recognize before STC ruins their lives.  

UGA Action Figures......You Can Take It To Da' Lake at Home!

The McFarlane Toy Company makes a number of sports based action figures.  A few years ago they decided to start making a yearly set of Action Figures (THEY ARE NOT DOLLS!) featuring current NFL stars in their college uniforms.  They have since made three sets of these college Action Firgures and each set is riddled with SEC players (they should all be SEC players because I am sure that SEC country is the only place where these things are in-demand).  The first set included Hines Ward in his Georgia uniform.  This summer there will be a new set including Cam Newton- Auburn, Tim Tebow 2nd figure- Florida, Peyton Manning 2nd figure- Tennessee, and this little bit of greatness:


Now I am not telling you how to play with your Action Figures but I would buy Manning, Tebow, and Newton......then I would use my "Munson Voice" and have all three scramble around, throw the ball, and have Champ stick em' for a pick six.  Then of course I would have Champ dance around while singing
"So I can get to stompin' in my Air Force Ones, Big Boy!"


McFarlane also makes an NFL set every year and just in time for Christmas you can get:

Again, not to tell you how to roll with your figures but.......you could buy a couple of Barbi dolls in bikinis, fill the tub up with water, and have the Sexay Beast TAKE IT TO DA' LAKE!

Congrats to Gerald Robinson

SEC Player of the Week after scoring 40 points leading the Dawgs to big wins over Arkansas and Mississippi St last week. He's had his ups and downs, and we've been critical of his play, but he's been tremendous the last 2 games. Well earned good chap.

Video of Mark Fox's newest PG commit: Ludowici's JJ Frazier

Mark Fox secured a commit from 2013 PG, 5'something JJ Frazier out of southeast Georgia. Below are the youtube videos of the speedy playmaker.




S&G the First Major College Football Institution Since the Big X to Get a New Logo.

See above.

Yeah its awesome. 

Anabolic Steroids- check

Murdering Opposition- check

Saving Murdered Oppositions Heads as Trophies- check

Paying da' Cost to be da' Boss- check

Auburns Gots the AIDS! Is BVG Still On Our Payroll?

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's gross Auburn!  Your AIDS is showing.  Your football AIDS that is.


BVG is the gift that keeps on giving.  Not only did he field some of the most blood-thirsty defensive units in Georgia history he is now acting as a covert double agent and infecting Auburn with the football AIDS.  Now when BVG bolts in two or three seasons guess who will be in-line to take over as DC?