Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage

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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

PITY....with these new SEC members- it ain't just for Vandy anymore!

We basically have two choices in dealing with these "new" members of the SEC:
1. Roll our eyes and pretend that they don't exist, or
2. Attempt to educate them with sage old Southern wisdom.

As we here at S&G are your classic "givers" we are going to go with option number 2.  The other day I ran across a Texas AnM fan at a luncheon (identified by his AnM golf shirt).  I asked him "Y'all excited about the SEC?"  He started beaming and said "Oh yeah!  This is just what we needed.  It will give us a chance to grow.  I think with Sumlin in charge we are really gonna be able to make an immediate impact."  I naturally responded with "Weeeelllll.....Sumlin is a good coach and all but you better have a good defense if you are gonna run that Hal Mummy crap in the SEC.  Y'all should have hired a defensive guy and then grabbed an up and coming OC."  The guy looked at me all puzzled and said... "QBs are what wins championships so I think having a guy knowledgeable in the passing game was a good move."  Naturally I laughed in his face and said...."Yeah well if QBs won National Titles then BYU would be the greatest program of all time.  Defense wins Championships!  Y'all will figure that out soon enough."  I then departed from this wretched soul and felt a strange sensation......after some intrawebs searching I think that I may have felt something called P-I-T-Y. 

Feeling all flush with this new "emotion" I have decided to formulate a little test for our new Big Soft XII brethren to help them understand if they are at a proper mental state for SEC play.

QUESTION 1.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?
A.


OR

B.
QUESTION 2.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?

A.

OR

B.

QUESTION 3.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?

A.

OR

B.

QUESTION 4.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?

A.

OR

B.

QUESTION 5.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?

A.

OR

B.
QUESTION 6.

Which of the following would you rather have on your team?
A.

OR

B.


ANSWER KEY:
1. B
2. B
3. B
4. B
5. B
6. B

If you answered A to any of the above questions then I hate to tell you but......you ain't ready for the SEC, son!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

And don't call or text me either!

https://twitter.com/LoganTillman/status/206478570661482496/photo/1 That's Michigan OL commit Logan Tillman. Apparently he doesn't think highly of Urban Meyer's recruiting methods either. In the Big 10, with the talent advantage Ohio St will always have, he'll win games. But it'll be interesting to see if Corch can enjoy the same level of success he did at Florida. It's not like the Buckeyes won't tolerate the shenanigans of his top 1% of the top 1%, like they always have, but something tells me his schtick will wear out faster there than it did in the Swamp. You shoulda stayed on the ESPNs Urb.

You Can't Express Concerns in May.....can you?

So the other day Corbindawg over at the Grit Tree (No Relation) asked could Georgia protect their name and reputation.  The story was picked up on a message board and one of our old flings jumped onto Corbin for his story.  I guess our recent time off left some of our closet case, self loathing , Richt-O-Philes desperate to go off on someone roughly associated with grits. 

Now we like Ol' Corbin over here at S&G but like all true believers Corbin was a little shocked that he could be on the receiving end of the Shiite Richt-O-Phile wrath.  So just for Corbin here are a few things you have to remember about Richt-O-Philes.

1. They treat last years record like Liberals treat the Constitution.  If you have never sat in a Con-Law class with a bunch of hippies then let me explain.  If the Constitution helps their cause they want to strictly interpret- but if the Constitution doesn't help then they want to interpret the thing until it says something that it doesn't say at all.  ROPs roll this way with the record from the year before.  If the Dawgs are 6-6 then ROPs demand that you look at the records of Georgia's opponents but if they are 10-4 then ten wins are ten wins and you may say nothing else about the matter.
2. THIS IS THE YEAR!!!!!  Sure we said last year was the year but that was just a slight mis-calculation on our part.  Now this year, this YEAR, THIS YEAR.............THIS IS THE YEAR !  (and if not this year then definately next year.....or the next..or maybe the next....maybe)
3. All writings, comments, or thoughts about the University of Georgia's football program must be prefaced with he following disclaimer or else you are subject to ROP attack:
"Mark Richt is the greatest football coach in the history of football and anything that I write, say, or think about this subject is always with the knowledge that Richt is the greatest person I have ever heard of."

So be careful there Corbin.....there are a lot of days between now and the Missouri game and anything you write short of "Georgia will win the National Title" is sacrilege to the ROP mind and will not be tolerated. 

Friday, May 18, 2012

The University of Texas....College Football's One Legged Man at a Butt Kickin' Contest

So work and other top secret projects have been occupying our time lately but nothing can bring us back to the blogging table quicker than the chance to laugh at the University of Texas.  So in case you missed it here is a re-cap of SEC expansion from start up until today.
1. SEC invites Texas and Texas A&M, then
2. Texas craps pants at the prospect of having to play more than two decent teams in a year, then
3. Texas runs and hides from the SEC.  SEC follows the doo-doo smell and finds Texas' hiding place, then
4. Texas cries, holds breath, pitches hissey fit, and says that the SEC does not have enough true research facilities, then
5. SEC offers Chokelahomo, then
6. Chokelahomo calls their Masters in Austin to ask permission for the ability to ask for permission to consider if they should ask permission to consider the SEC's offer.  Texas denies this request.
7. SEC gets stuck with Missouri, then
We get today's decision to have the Big 12 champion play the SEC champion every year.  This is confusing because the main goal of Texas and Oklahoma in all of this has been to avoid having to play the best in the SEC every year.....yet now they will......play the best in the SEC every year.  Wow!  Texas really out maneuvered all of us on this one.  So we can now officially write Texas and Oklahoma out of every having a chance to ever win the National Title ever again.  Want to hear what a retard thinks about all of this?  Well here goes:

"This is another example of the strength and stability of the Big 12 Conference," Texas athletic director DeLoss Dodds said in a statement.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Adams to Retire Today. F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE KING OF ALL DOUCHERY IS GOING TO RETIRE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST LOOK AT HIM....HATING FOOTBALL AND GRINNING BECAUSE HE HAS DONE SO MUCH TO HAMPER OUR ATHLETICS FOR SO MANY YEARS.


Todd Gurley, the next MEAST Safety?

We all got excited about landing not just 1, but 2 elitely talented rushers out of North Carolina. Keith Marshall has already arrived, and shown off his electric speed. But the under the radar back, Todd Gurley, may be even better. He has elite track speed as a hurdler, on a bigger, more powerful frame. He could be a Rodney Hampton type back for Georgia, or could he be something completely different? We've got backs, with Boo Malcome and Isaiah Crowell, as well as Marshall and the hopefully incoming Derrick Henry (amongst other potential top rushers in the 2013 class). And we all know about a desperate need to fill the disturbingly thin depth chart in the defensive backfield. So, with that in mind, and the load of backs we already have on the board, could Gurley be destined for greatness somewhere other than an offensive backfield?
Butch Davis recruited Gurley for North Carolina when he was still the Tar Heels’ coach. “He doesn’t have the electrifying speed, but I’ll tell you what’s intriguing about Todd Gurley,” Davis said on ESPNU on signing day. “In camps when you watched him, he reminds me of the kid that I recruited to the University of Miami that did similar things in high school by the name of Sean Taylor. Sean was a high school running back and we flipped him over to play strong safety and he became one of college football’s greatest strong safeties.” Gurley said he played safety the first eight games of his senior season before moving to defensive end. He said Georgia has not talked to him about playing safety.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Our beloved I HAS CRAYON

Really does have a crayon! RedCrake of dawgsports confirms our biggest nightmares, with hilarious results.