Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Thursday, September 27, 2012

Do they lack shotglasses in Tennessee?

This, is just perverse.  We never thought to try that when drinking.  Because, we had these things called shot glasses, and hard liquor, and throats that could handle alcohol.

Hillfolk are strangefolk, especially those in Orangeland.  Also acceptable, the kids are not all right.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Gameday: Prepare for the death rabbits

It's gonna be San Diego all over again.

/stolen from Anchor of Gold because it's awesome.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Support Georgia High School football

there are tons of great games, and SEC caliber players popping the pads all over the state tonight.  From Peach County to Augusta, Valdosta to Dahlonega, Brunswick to Rome.  The AJC has your full slate of games, so get off your lazy butts and go watch some great football in a great environment.

I had questions, Vanderbilt had answers

My Q&A with SBNation's Anchor of Gold is up on dawgsports.  There are some good answers there, so give it a look.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money, week 4

We've had week 1, 2, and 3, and while weeks 2 and 3 have greatly improved over week 1, I have yet to come near last year's over 60% win rate. In fact, my 10-20 mark is probably the reverse of last year's win percentage, so I'll have to step it up. As always, 10 highest AP ranked games and lines slightly adapted from what you find on ESPN's list of several. So, without further delay, your Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money this weekend.

#13 Southern Cal (-16 1/2) Cal We're having a busy week, so analysis will be short and sweet for all.  We've said it several times, the Cal Bears suck now.  At home, Southern Cal needs to reclaim their male superior position in the Pac 12 and blows it out.  Take the Trojans to cover.

#11 Notre Dame (-4 1/2) #18 Michigan Ugh.  We'll go with Michigan, just cause we aren't buying this "Notre Dame is back" nonsense.  Both sides are overranked, the Irish more so.  Go Big Blue.

#8 West Virginia (-26 1/2) Maryland HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  We're 0-3 so far on our locks of the week, let's see if it becomes 0-4.  Just 26 is playing with Maryland's emotions.  The Terps are terrible, and the Mountaineers are a possible national title participant.  West Virginia wins huge and easily covers.

#7 South Carolina (-10 1/2) Missouri We were somewhat impressed with Missouri.  If they had their LT, I'd take them.  But without him, this may be the Clowney coming out party.  The Gamecocks QB situation is worrisome, but their D and Lattimore will work the Tigers.  Chickens cover.

#6 Oklahoma (-14 1/2) #15 Kansas St K State feasts on weaklings, and usually gets slaughtered by the big boys.  But 2 TDs is a lot between top 15 teams, and Stoops is good for a brain fart every now and then.  Take the Wildcats and the points.

#5 Georgia (-16 1/2) Vanderbilt We're taking Georgia.

#4 Florida St (-14 1/2) #10 Clemson Dabo's gonna Dabo, but with Sammy Watkins back, and EJ Manuel at QB, we're taking the Tigles.  Florida St is once again overrated and will suffer for a lack of a QB.  Clemson and the points is this call.

#3 Oregon (-21 1/2) #22 Arizona Rich Rod had a big win last week.  Now comes the cream of the west coast crop.  The Arizona rebuilding project can't handle the Duck speed, take Oregon to cover.

#2 LSU (-20 1/2) @ Auburn Has Vegas not watched Auburn play?  I can't imagine LSU not doubling that spread.

#1 Alabama (-49 1/2) Florida Atlantic The starters won't see the field after halftime, if not earlier.  Bama wins easy, but that's too many points when a team will slack up for 30 minutes.  Take the Owls and the points.

*-Guarantee disclaimer nobody reads because if you want to sue me, bring it son, my lawyaz are all expert ninjas and will cut you with the quickness.

Vanderbilt had questions, I had answers

I participated in a Q&A with SBNation's Vanderbilt-focused blog, Anchor of Gold. They asked some good questions, and I, hopefully, gave some good answers. Give it a click and check it out. Their answers to my questions will be posted on Dawgsports.com tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Montana Project

Big props go out to the Senator, Hoppy, and everyone who made this happen. Screw Stweart Mandel and his random nonsense about 100 Montanans. That was beautiful, and very well done. Go Dawgs!

John L Smith officially goes over the deep end, on camera

"SMILE!  It's not like y'all in the media are entering involuntary retirement on November 24th with me."

1/4 of the Season Down.....A Little Less Disney POV.

So Brothah Sanchez has given his review of the team with the 1st quarter of the season down.  It was very optimistic and to be quite honest with you.......believe it or not........even the Ol' Rider is all smiles today.  However, let's not pile up on that 12-0 bandwagon just yet.

So what could stop us from a 12-0 run and the SEC East crown?

Yep.....he is still gainfully employed at your favorite University despite showing more times than I got fingers and toes that he is woefully inadequate to dial em' up against the Big Boys.  Now there is no need for us to review the Buffalo and FLATL games.  We put a drumming on the Bills and the Artists formerly known as the Fighting Schnellenberger's.  Was it sloppy?  Yeah of course it was because they are foregone conclusion cupcakes and most people play those teams that way.  Missouri is a little more problematic.

First of all the score was in no way indicative of the game that was played in Columbia, MO.  The score was however, par for the course in terms of providing Richt-O-Philes with ammo to skew the offensive numbers as a reason to keep Bobo once again next year.  Missouri is still (and in all honestly probably always will be) a Big XII team.  The difference between a SEC school and everyone else is depth.  You see a SEC team may have a starting DE that is a nine out of ten and a Big XII or ACC school may also have a DE that is a nine out of ten.  The difference is that with the SEC school the second guy on the depth chart is an eight out of ten and the third guy is a seven out of ten.  On the other hand the Big XII or ACC team's second guy is a six out of ten and their third guy is a four out of ten.  That is important because what you should usually see happen is a decent game for 1 quarter, the SEC team looking like the better team in the 2nd quarter, the SEC team obviously better and pulling away in the 3rd and, domination in the 4th quarter. 

In the Missouri game at no point did the offense look as if they had broken the will of Missouri.  In fact our Defense is so good that they broke the will of Missouri's offense and defense with little or no help from the offense.  Now, the O-line has been better than I thought they would be, Gurley looks like a beast, and Murray is well.......Murray.  So why did the offense look like a white guy from Kansas in Atlanta during Freaknick?  Here again is your answer:

Out finking de bade guys.
Our biggest problem is that we are about to enter into the meat of our SEC schedule and if the best way to win the SEC was with sloppy, clumsy, slow developing plays and false start penalties......well National Title here we come.  Vandy is essentially in the same boat with Missouri in that they lack overall depth so we may get another barn burner.  Tannercee has more talent than Vandy and more depth plus they are playing for the very job of Diddy's Baby Boy.  We should be 5-0 rolling into Columbia in October.  The Cocks, an off week, Kentucky, and then the Cocktail Party.  We had better have the train on the track by Carolina because 1) We ain't ever exactly "out coached" Spurrier, 2) Carolina and Florida will have the appropriate depth to avoid losing a war of attrition, and 3) Their offenses will be talented enough so that it will take all our D has to break their will....great as Grantham is I don't see his unit taking down the offense and defense against Carolina and Florida like with Missouri.....................................................of course then there is the looming specter of LSU or Bama.

Monday, September 17, 2012

3 weeks in: Could the stars be aligning?

With our depth issues, I liked some of our talent, but thought we'd struggle down the stretch.  3 weeks in, and while I know those injuries and attrition to a thin roster can start occuring about nowish, I'm getting optimistic.  Here's why:

Our D is good.  As in really, really good.  Saturday showed issues, but get everyone healthy and on the field, and we are as good as it gets.  That's not to say we are without a doubt "the best", because there's 3 or 4 Ds that could make that claim right now (like of course, Alabama's).  But with the way our remaining regular season opponents have looked, there's no one to worry about.  Jarvis Jones is the best defensive player in the country (sorry Chickens, Clowney is good, but Jarvis can rush the passer just as well, but is better against the run and MUCH better in coverage obviously).  Alec Ogletree last year was threatening him for the best player on that defense, so getting the 6'4, 250 pound and speedy knock out artist gives us another do-everything weapon for opponents to worry about.  And when they focus on Jarvis, Tree will inform them of the problems with that plan.  Get them healthy, get the DBs back together so they can refamiliarize themselves with each other, and with our front 7 ability (Shaun Williams has made me look smart calling him our best all around S since Sean Jones, and Herrera is showing out like the next in line of our great LBs), we can dominate any offense left on the schedule, and shouldn't allow 20 points to any of them.

Our O looks solid enough.  Marshall has shown his speed, and Gurley has looked as good as any true freshman rusher in a long time.  He is the complete package of size, speed, vision, and what looks like solid hands, as well as what we assume is a good ability to pick up the blitz (since we won't play a RB who can't as we've noticed with Bobo and Richt).  Getting Rambo and Commings back in the fold, allowing Tampa Mitchell to get more reps on offense, should help.  But while Chris Conley has been slow to make an impact, Arthur Lynch and Michael Bennett have looked capable of filling the go-to receiver voids.  And our OL, while still young, just may be coming together.  Theus has some experience under his belt, Gates is looking good, and we have been clicking against lesser competition.  The competition increases each of the next 3 weeks, with a decent front 7 in Vandy, very good in Tennessee, and one of the best we'll face in Columbia.  So we'll learn a lot over the next month of time, but it's not hard to be optimistic about the progress and potential shown offensively.

But the main reason for optimisim is opponents.  Yes yes, weak schedule meme.  But Vandy hasn't been impressive.  Tennessee's offense has no running game, and a suspect decision maker at QB.  Florida has looked like crap.  Shaw is hurt for SC and their DBs look like chickens running around with their heads chopped off.  Auburn is looking good enough to get Chizik fired within 24 months of a national title.  Ole Miss isn't much better, nor is Kentucky.  Georgia Tech may truly be the most dangerous game left on the slate, and to reiterate, if our D is fully healthy, they can really attack a triple option with our front 7 loaded with play makers and space eaters.

Is 12-0 really possible?  Or am I high on optimism?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Go to a high school football game

If you live in the south, there's a good chance you are an hour's drive or so from watching 3-4 SEC caliber players in a high school game tonight*.

Here's the schedule for the state of Georgia, pick one, go support local kids.

*Research provided by our crack team of geography and recruiting analysts.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money, Week 3

We've gotten week 1, and week 2 in the books and for those following at home, TxBaller is doing better than I am, by 1 game.  But we both suck so far.  Time to turn this around and start getting Papa paid.  As always, top 10 ranked games (AP poll, no Oregon vs Tennessee Tech, Oklahoma who's off, Clemson with Furman, or West Virginia hosting James Madison), and lines off ESPN.  If there's no half, I'll add or subtract it cause pushes are bitches.  So without further introduction, here are your week's picks guaranteed* to win you money Saturday.

#14 Texas (-10 1/2) @ Ole Miss - Texas at least has talent, which is more than we can say for Ole Miss.  We're interested in this one for a couple reasons.  One is to see just what the Rebels hired in Freeze, and how big a mistake it was for them to pass on the Pirate King of Pullman.  Second is to see how overrated the always overrated Longhorns are.  In Oxford, the 10 gets enticing.  Don't be fooled, cause Freeze has a LONG way to go to get the talent to anything close to a respectable level.  And we all know Mack Brown turns away more blue chips in a single recruiting class than Ole Miss has enrolled in 30 years.  Hook 'em Horns, Texas covers.

#13 Virginia Tech (-10 1/2) @ Pitt - Who is coaching Pitt now?  Considering the dumpster fire of Wannstedt, it has to be improved, right?  Wrong.  The soon to be ACC bottom feeder (which is saying something since, you know, Duke), has already lost to Youngstown St and Cincinnati, by more than that spread.  If Vegas wants to give money away, we'll take it.  Beamer Ball rules as the Hokies cover (lock of the week, which is currently 0-2)

#12 Ohio St (-16 1/2) Cal - What the hell happened to Cal?  They were somewhat decent when Tedford had Lynch and Jackson and Rodgers and Boller and others.  I guess he got complacent like Richt, but the hippy tree huggers were too buzy burning bowls to give him a much needed kick in the balls.  This one is a laugher cause we know Urbs ain't afraid to run up ugly numbers.  The Buckeyes cover big.

#10 Michigan St (-5 1/2) Notre Dame - Whoever wins, America loses because this game will be all that sucks about midwestern football.  It will be slow.  It will be unathletic.  It will feature a game manager QB vs a turnover prone QB.  The field will have more caucasians than the Dude.  But since we have to pick someone, and the Irish are another of the soon to be tickle pile of football in the ACC, we're going Spartans to cover.  Go Michigan St.

#8 South Carolina (-33 1/2) UAB - The Blazers have been getting screwed over by trustees wary to create anything close to competition for the beloved Tide, up to and including the joke of a hire that was Neil Calloway.  They lost to Troy in their only game so far, and the Gamecocks may have found the ability to pass, in addition to Lattimore and Clowney owning the tackle boxes.  But 33?  Really?  We aren't buying it.  The Gamecocks win, and it'll be easy.  But they aren't getting 33.  No how, no way, let alone cover by 33.  Take UAB and the points.

#7 Georgia (-41 1/2) Florida Atlantic - Last week was an anamoly.  Georgia NEVER covers. We relax in a very disturbing way this week. Take the Fighting Schnellenbergers (admit it, you have no clue what their mascot is), and the points.  Georgia 41, Florida Atlantic 14. 

#5 Florida St (-27 1/2 )Wake Forest - The Seminoles are NOT a national title contender.  ESPN will keep shoving that narrative down our throats, and then I will watch EJ Manuel play QB and remember why I quit caring about the opinion of ESPN "experts" when I was 16.  But as much as Jim Grobe plays spoiler to the Garnett and Gold, it won't be this year.  The Demon Deacons are drifting back to their usual cellar home, and the athletes of FSU are too much.  While history says Wake, we spit in history's eye, and do the Tomahawk Chop.  FSU covers.

#3 LSU (-42 1/2) Idaho - We still love Rob Akey.  But seriously.  Idaho, in Red Stick, and it's just 40?  LSU caan pick their score, and likely pick a larger margin than that.  Take LSU.

#2 Southern Cal (-9 1/2) @ Stanford - They've lost Harbaugh, and now Luck.  Stanford was made to look a lot better than they really are by those two.  The Trojans have two losses in them, one to Oregon and another in some slip up to a weak school.  But while Stanford is weakened this year, Southern Cal wants payback for 3 straight losses.  They come out hyped, and the Trojans cover.

#1 Bama (-20 1/2) @ Arkansas - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Ah Bleacher Report, your Onion style journalism is always good humor.  Petrino was a huge loss, as we've been saying since he was so flagrantly stupid in the spring.  Those who think last week was just them overlooking a weak team before a big game, are ignoring just how weakened they are now that Coach Dick got Lorena Bobbit'd.  Bama won't over look them, and will make this one uglier than Western Kentucky.  Roll Tide, they double the spread.

*Guarantee only valid for blood relatives who have predeceased me

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

S&G re-cap of the Missouri game.

First of all I have been surprised that every Georgia fan in the world has not showered Grantham with the freshly scalped pelts of large and exotic big game and offers to deflower their daughters upon their 18th birthdays.  Let's re-cap just what the old shaft thumper did on Saturday:
1. Won despite Richt suspending F-I-V-E  THAT IS 5 AS IN 1,2,3,4,5!!!! Of Grantham's starters and not for anything that was even suspension worthy.  WEED!  Guess what Richt all of your black players and half of your white players smoke it.........SO GET OVER IT AND STOP SUSPENDING THEM FOR POT!
2. Won despite the worst, most vanilla, biggest waste of a paycheck in all of major college football calling offensive plays which did nothing to help the defenses.
I's aren whut de Doctor called uh Weetahrd.
3. Grantham at some point this off-season was able to harness the power of all the elements and forge them into one linebacker.  Grantham was then able to wield this God-like power with hope crushing efficiency late in the game:

The Heisman goes to the best player in the country, right?  So if Denard Robinson gets it over this man someone tell me how the Heisman is still relevant.
Grantham did all of these things and yet there was not the Monday morning rush at our office by Georgia fans to "write" Grantham into their wills.
Needless to say that as we sit upon our throne of sorrows deep within Snake Mountain the over lords of all that which is evil are most pleased with Mr. Grantham......most pleased indeed.

Now at this point when I watch a game I say to myself "what will happen if we play like this against Bama or LSU?"  Can I tell you what would happen?  We would be crushed.  Make no mistake about it....our offense is not very good.  We struggled to move the ball against Missouri and did not put the game away until late when our SEC depth kicked in and JJ went ape stankey.  I can not express this with enough gusto and emphasis:


Additionally it would be awesome if our O-line was aware of the fact that a false start is the exact opposite of what you want to do as an O-lineman. 
The schedule itself as well as the returns of Tree, Rambo, and Chief Slapahoe should be enough to get us to Atlanta although Boboz could always raise up and drop one to South Carolina or Florida before it is all over with.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

AWWWWWWWBURN SUCKS!!!! and so does Florida.

It is 5:00 pm and Auburn looked hopeless against Missy St.

Florida is looking like they can't play with AnM's toughness.

How do your boys feel about all that?

Me and Sanchez.......true story.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Tomorrow Night is a MUST WIN....A must win in September? You Better Believe It!

Not just a win but a drumming.  I really mean it.......we had better come out looking like we just snorted a few kilos of bath salts.  Missouri is inferior.  Missouri is not deserving of a spot in the SEC.  If we can't kick Missouri's teeth out of their collective rectums then what are we doing in Athens?

I occasionally take the hate and spread it around other places.  One of my new favorite spots is www.SECtalk.com.  This past week I put it all out there:

"Yes Sir!  I am sick of bringing a knife to a gun fight.  I am sick of these imaginary rules.  I am sick of holding onto assistants because they are personal friends when they are inadequate.  I am sick of hearing about what a good Christian Man Richt is.  That is great but guess what...if I need brain surgery and my choice is between a  good Christian man who flips burgers and an atheist who is a brain surgeon I want the atheist.  God ain't got nothing to do with football.  I am sick of hearing all about how our kids will be better people in the long run because Richt cares and Saban, Chizik, and Miles do not.  We recruit black thugs from the ghetto and spoiled brat white kids and then when they act like thugs or brats we act surprised.  This is college they are going to drink, smoke, and fornicate.  Bring them in, milk at least three years out of them, and then send them off to the NFL or prison.  We want wins not good citizenship awards.  Do you really and truthfully care about Isaiah Crowell's soul?  Do you care about what he contributes to society?  Do you care about what kind of man he becomes?  You can say you do but that is a lie.  Why live a lie?  Why not be honest....we love you because of what you do for us on Saturday.  The moral victories have got to stop because they are nothing but excuses that we allow someone who's job depends on them to pawn off on us.  Georgia v. Missouri should be a foregone conclusion....it should have been a foregone conclusion months ago but it is not because of self-inflicted "moral high road" rules." 

 There it is......I have had enough.  I should not be sitting in Augusta, Georgia typing this with anything other than 100% confidence that we will annihilate some yankee white trash school.  So why do I not have that level of confidence?  Well here are a couple of reasons:


The Crayonator for obvious reasons but Richt is causing me indigestion because of his absurd, weak, sand filled female naughty part approach to dealing with and suspending players.  I covered this as well over on SECtalk:

"....everyone hates Slive for this Missouri pick so Slive schedules them against Georgia early...why?
 1) Richt is a pussy who follows absurd rules that no other coach follows.  Have any of these players been convicted of murder.....no?  Then play them and stop being a pussy!
 2)Georgia always starts slow under Richt (also on account of the pussy suspensions).
 3) If Missouri gets beat then...hey they still belong because Georgia is the defending Eastern Champ.  If they win then they belong and no one can ever call Slive a dumb@$* for his bastardization of the conference with a Yankee school.  Either way Missouri gives Georgia a better game this Sat than they would in November.
 4) We still have "I Has A Crayon" calling plays so everyone is automatically in a better position to win against us.
Missouri may win because no matter how good Georgia ever is Richt and Has Crayon Will Travel are on the sidelines and they are playing by imaginary rules that Saban laughs at and Miles doesn't understand because he can't read.  No matter how good Missouri is and no matter how bad Georgia, Tennessee, or Florida are Missouri should NEVER beat any of those three and should only win 3 out of every 10 against South Carolina.  It's nothing personal Missouri....hey if I was program with no real recruiting base, traditions, or hope of ever being anything other than middle of the pack in some AQ conference I would jump all over the SEC and all that money. You just don't belong...geographically, demographically or historically.  You will always be the yankee that married one of our distant relatives and your only hope is that SEC teams are so deflated by having to play an average yankee team that they fall asleep on y'all."

We better win.  We better win big.  Boboz better melt my face off with his mastery of the playbook, adjustments and befuddling of Missouri.  Everyone who in not injured or suspended by an official NCAA rule had better play and they had better play well.  We better look like we did against Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl a few back.  RICHT NEEDS TO PROVE TO US THAT ALL HIS EXCUSES, DELAYS, "BUILDING", AND ALL THE OTHER CRAP THAT HE DOES THAT HINDERS THIS PROGRAM IS A THING OF THE PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Picks Guaranteed* to Win You Money, Week 2

Does that say week 2?  Sorry for the typo, I didn't make any picks last week.  Nope, and you can't prove it.  Oh, what's that, I went 1-9?  Well, read the small print. 

Now, for round 2 of the picks, we're sure to get back on track this week.  As always, we use a close proximation of the lines off ESPN, and start with the team ranked #1 in the AP and go down until we got 10 games (but I list from the lowest ranked choice to the top game).  And if the law of averages is anything, considering our 60% or so win mark last year, these picks are going to be fire from here on out.  They are truly guaranteed* to win you money.  West Virginia (off), Florida St (Savannah St), and Oklahoma (Florida A&M) drop us 3 more spots, so we begin with the Badgers from the Coldlands.

#13 Wisconsin (-7 1/2) @ Oregon St - The Beavers had their opener postponed with purchased win Nicholls St couldn't fly out of Louisianna due to the Hurricane.  So this is their opener, and the papers are hyping it up as the biggest ooc game ever in Corvallis.  Oregon St's coach Mike Riley did have them humming along nicely for a while, but the wheels have fallen off of late.  The environment should help keep it close for a half, but the overwhelming power of Wisconsin beef should pull away late.  Take the Badgers, give the points.

#12 Clemson (-27 1/2) Ball St - Yeah, they still lack Sammy Watkins, but this is Ball St.  The Tigers should be able to knock off some weak MAC team, right?  Nope.  The MAC has that nice, defensive focused, slow down brand.  Clemson wins, but they don't cover.  Take the points, and Ball St.

#11 Michigan St (-20 1/2) Central Michigan - MAC team again.  Against a controlled Michigan St?  With an in state, we must earn respect aspect from the Chippewas?  Don't care.  D'Antonio's D, and their power running game grind a big win, and the Spartans cover.

#9 South Carolina ( 20 1/2) Eastern Carolina - That's a low number, but Connor Shaw is already turning to a hunk of junk, and Ruffin McNeil will go all out to stop Lattimore.  If SC's backups have any ability (which we doubt they do), it'll be tight.  But, while we doubt their offense is effective, that Gamecock D is stout, and Clowney creates 14 points on his own.  South Carolina covers.

#8 Arkansas (-30 1/2) La. Monroe - The Warhawks didn't play last week (Hurricane Isaac again).  That doesn't bode well for the Warhawks.  Struggling in week 1 fashion against a stronger opponent who's already knocked the rust off?  Look for the piss to get firey as John L Smith hits his highest point with the Razorbacks and blows Monroe away.  Give the points, take Arkansas (#1 pick of the week).

#7 Georgia (-2 1/2) @ Missouri - If Richt would say what is going to happen with Rambo and Tree, this would be an easier pick.  We're glad he's making it difficult.  Without those two, the Tiger passing game becomes a huge problem.  With them, and our defense is deadly.  But Mark Richt, on the road, giving a team a chance for a signature win?  That's not a good sign.  After last week though, we're going opposite of our instincts.  They say take Mizzou for the upset.  Richt gets things on track for a big year, Georgia wins 34-24.

#4 Oregon (-34 1/2) Fresno St. - Pat Hill must have shaved his moustache at some point, because the mojo left years ago.  Oregon is a scoring machine, and hopefully won't give up in the second half like last week.  Take the Ducks, give the points.

#3 LSU (-23 1/2) Washington - Washington will have to travel a long way for a rough game.  LSU should be able to run things along the lines all night long.  Considering LSU barely covered that on North Texas, I want to take the Huskies.  But then I think about the differences in the lines, and how the Sarkisians struggled to beat San Diego St last week, and the Bayou Bengals roll.  Give the points, geaux Tigers.

#2 Southern Cal (-26 1/2) @ Syracuse - Syracuse struggled in a loss to Northwestern last week.  That's a lot of points to be given on the road, but the Trojans should feel fine on the fast track of a dome turf.  Take Southern Cal, huge.

#1 Alabama (-40 1/2)  Western Kentucky - Last year, we rode Bama.  We are sorry we forsook you almighty Saban in week 1.  It won't happen again.  60-0 sounds about right here.  Take Bama, forever.

*guarantee is not actually a guarantee and should not be relied on, nor is it enforceable in any court of law civil, criminal, domestic, foreign, or universal

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Re-Evaluating the SEC After One Week

So the big boys down in Dixie have one week in the books and we now have an opportunity to re-evaluate each of them.  To save time we will cover em' by two...deuces:

Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

Alabama-  This just in......Alabama is real good at football.
Kentucky- This just in.......Kentucky is not.

Botanical Connoisseurs

LSU- LSU looked good but hard to say where they are in regards to Bama because under the Hat Molester they always play to the level of their competition.
Georgia- They looked solid with contributions from younger players.  The Dawgs scored a bunch of points but that is necessary so as to create an air tight statistical defense for keeping Bobo despite his habitual bed pooing against top tier teams.

You Didn't Know But Now You Know....You Know?

Auburn- The Barn was hard to read in the off-season.  They could have been solid, could have been bad, or could have been a fly in the LSU/Bama ointment.  Turns out they have a Dondrel Pinkesque QB which means they can't beat SEC-lite Clampsun.....soooooo.....6-7 or 7-6 if not worse for the Plainsmeagles.
Tannercee- The Kiffikins experiment left the residents of Dollywood with a bad taste in their mouths (which is not as bad as you would think due to their lack of teeth so there is not much for the bad taste to cling onto).  Diddy's baby boy was brought in to right the ship and provide stability.  In order to do that Precious needed to beat all the schools in the South who don't really care about feetball (i.e. Vandy, Kentucky, The Missisyphillus Scrools, etc.). Tannercee hasn't been doing this for the past few years and Precious is now square upon the seat with heat.  The drumming of the oh so vanilla Wolfpack could signal that Diddy's Boy may be competitive enough to save his job until the Tannercee Athletic Department can get out of the red.

Auburn lost to this guy with out Sammy Watkins....oh the shame it all!

Of Those Who Are And Those Who Will Shortly Be Fired.

Arkansas- The Hawgs scruggled against their cupcake-a-liscious opener in the first half.  John Lamont Smith pulled it together at the half although we are pretty sure he told his boys all about how Spartans fight till the end.  Arkansas' dreams of competing in the SEC are gone like the 20 year old Blondie tail that get you in trouble with the Court and all their talk of alimony.
Florida- Perhapse you jumped the gun on the "hottest assistant in college football"?  Karma sucks eh, Will?

It's Done Took A Whole Lotta Ty-rying And You Still Ain't Over That Hill

Mississippi State- Two years ago it looked like the Missy Dawgs had it all figured out....then SEC Defensive Coordinators figured out the Urban Spread......We give Danny Boy two or three more before the hill folk want to send him up to Ohio to reunite with Urban and his Brain Zit.
South Carolina- Got the Coach...check, Got the non-Crack smoking version of George Rogers...check, Got a defense....check, Got Clampsun's number...check, ready for the big boys in the SEC.....well that depends on Conner Shaw's shoulder.

Oh.....We Didn't Realize That Y'all Were Still Here.

Ole Miss- A pox lay upon the stoop of Brother Faulkner's institution until they restore the Colonel.  Or until they get back to getting they cheat on Billy Brewer style.
Vanderbilt- "You know Vandy is really starting to turn things around with Franklin."........."Oh, Arkansas hired James Franklin....well scratch that then."~ Said Everyone at the end of the season

Texas Oil Money and Yankees That Contribute Nothing At All To The SEC

Texas AnM- Hard to say just yet because we like Sumlin but we aren't sure he is going to like SEC Defenses.  The SEC however is going to love the in-roads to all those delicious Texas recruits.
Name Redacted-  Sports and Grits is a fine upstanding publication that sullies itself not by discussing Yankeefied abominations.

Y'all missin' ya' Boy yet?

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Thoughts on the Buffalo game

You may have noticed a lack of thoughts on the Buffalo game.  Because it was Buffalo.  We'll know more in a week.

About the only thing we can say pro or con is we love Richt giving a big middle finger to the media regarding the suspensions of Alec Ogletree and Bacarri Rambo.  We hope their both back this week, and not sure which would be a better return.  Rambo solidifies coverage over the top.  Ogletree is almost a guarantee to knock someone out, and make 3+ big plays.

Otherwise, we showed good signs and bad signs.  But it was game 1, so no one is what they're going to be in a month.  But it was Buffalo, and we had them severely outclassed.  Opinions on the team are worthless for another week.