b) MOST GAY, and
c) MOST DEMANDING OF OTHERS THAT THEY MAKE FUN OF IT THING EVER PLACED ON THE INTRAWEBS IN THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET.
Someone actually wrote this....read it.....and then said to themselves......"The world needs to see this."
|I assume that one of these two adult children wrote this little gem.|
Now if you clicked the link you will notice that the author of this craptastic flaming pile of turd is employed at the Red Lobster. Now, I am not making any accusations....but this guy goes to the bathroom, gets poo-poo on his thumb, doesn't wash his hands, and makes your Cheddar Bay Biscuits......if I were you I would stay away from the Anderson, Sakerlina Red Lobster.
Now shall we approach this poetry.....stanza by stanza:
1. In 2029 Dabo would be in his 19th season but has only had success in the last 8 which means that Clampsun would have 11 years of sucking and he would be allowed to keep his job?
2. Clampsun could not possibly find enough money to expand their stadium to 126,843. That would be an expansion of 45,343 from the current 81,500. There is not enough room to expand the stadium by 45,343. Clampsun does not have 126,843 fans worldwide. Why such an odd number? Stadiums hold round numbers like 98,500 or 105,000......why expand by 45,343?
3. "Tears flowing from their face as they think back to all the practices, hours in the weight room, and tough victories over ACC foes." There is no such thing as "tough victories" in the ACC.
This thing is so bad that one has to wonder if a Gamecock fan opened an account on a Clampsun message board just to write this so that I would one day find it and make fun of it.
Here are a few things that you need to know about Clampsun:
a) Their entire program is just one big elaborate knock off of Auburn........really....Auburn? I mean if you are going to rip off a program shouldn't you aim a little higher than Auburn?
b) If they were to sale out their 81,500 seat stadium (which they never do) then 20,000 of those seats would be occupied by the other side's fans and band. This means that of the 61,500 there for Clampsun exactly 43,200 have never taken a single college level course, 29,650 did not graduate from high school, and 21,375 did not even bother to go back and get a GED.
c) Their head coach is named Dabo.........D-A-B-O.......that is his first name.....I did not make that up.
d) Here is a picture of Dabo:
|This is the man that an alleged "Football School" decided to put in charge......this guy right here.....they think he can win National Titles......oh, and his name is Dabo.|
I have been on this earth for over 30 years and I have come to the conclusion that there is no more delusional fan base anywhere in the world than the Clampsun fan base.
"WELL MR. CCRIDER WHAT ABOUT THE DOMINANCE OF THE CLAMPSUN PROGRAM UNDER A ONE MR. DANNY FORD?" ~ Random Clampsun Fan.
I am glad you bring that up Random Clampsun Fan. Let's look at the storied record of Danny Lee Ford, greatest football coach of all time, a god amongst men, and the man who did not lose a football game in 11 years at Clampsun. In those 11 years at Clampsun Ol' Danny was 96-29-4. "WHAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!?????!!!! Danny Ford lost 29 games? Surely this cannot be true......but it is. What does that record look like when stacked against other coaches? How about a peer of Ol' Danny.....how about Vince Dooley's last 11 years at UGA. Dooley's last 11 years would have been 78-88 while Ford was at Clampsun from 79-89. In those years Dooley was......98-28-5. That's right.....2 more wins, one less loss, one more tie, each with one National Title. While we fondly remember Dooley we don't worship at his alter and yet he was by the record a better coach. How about our favorite Hillbilly, Phat Phil Fulmer? In Phil's first 11 full seasons at Tannercee his record was 109-28 with one National Title. Now I ain't exactly a math major but for God's sake Phat Phil was a better coach than Danny Ford and Fulmer is a dirty word in Knoxville. Heck in Mark Richt's first 11 seasons he was 106-38 (ten more wins and nine more losses).