Da' Dream Makin' Cold Blooded Sausage


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Did Manti Te'o Know About the Hoax? Here is the only question he needs to answer

Either very stupid, very devious, or very gay......regardless of which he is very bad at linebackering against an SEC team.

Look there are about as many holes in Te'o's story as there were in the Notre Dame front seven during the National Title game......but there is really only one thing the most over-rated defensive player in NCAA history needs to answer and here it is:

You are a consensus five star recruit.  You are the consensus #1 overall line backer in the country.  You are the consensus #1 overall defensive prospect in the Nation.  You could pick any school in the country and attend that school on a full ride.  Everyone on that campus knows who you are and what you are since before you even set foot on that campus.  Everyone knows that you are destined to play in the NFL and get paid.  You decide to go to a school that has both male and female students..................WHY WOULD YOU EVER NEED TO USE A COMPUTER TO FIND A FEMALE COMPANION?

As a matter of fact why would you ever use a computer at all?  Someone else should be doing your class work for you.  How can you possibly focus on all the evil you should intend to wrought upon your adversary if you are having to do silly things like school work?  Anyway back to my original point......God knew what he was doing when he did not bless Ol' CC here with 5 star talent because this is how my college career would have gone.

-CCRider verbally commits to UGA very early
-CCRider does on campus visits with other SEC schools just to see them and get the free trip
-CCRider schedules and cancels an on-campus visit with Clampsun 15 times......Their disappointment gets funnier each time.
-CCRider visits Ole Miss and secretly waffles on his decision because honestly.....have you seen those Ole Miss girls?
  Top row second from your left.....pregnant before my first practice.
-CCRider signs letter for UGA
-CCRider attends UGA on a full football scholarship and is immediately ear lobe deep in ladies that are consensus 10s on a scale of 1-10. 
-CCRider occasionally goes slumming and picks up a few 8 or 9s
-CCRider invents "Taking it to da Lake" while Stafford is still in Middle School, Son!

-CCRider's agent negotiates largest signing bonus in NFL history on account of preparing for the results of roughly 1,346 paternity tests.
-About 75% of those tests stick Ol' CC with the bill, but theses are 10s we are talking about so despite having a child out of wedlock they will still end up marrying some rich dude.  Said rich dudes will also be UGA alums and would feel guilty about trying to hit up a Dawg legend for child support so they tell CC to have a relationship with his kids but don't worry about the tab.  If fact they will admit to being honored that CC impregnated their now wives and CC can consider the lack of a need to pay child support as payment in full for services rendered.
-The end.............and in all of that CC most likely never ever turned on a computer!

Finally, let me say this....................at age 18-22 no heterosexual male can "fall in love" with a girl that they have never actually physically been in the presence of.....in the Biblical sense.  So Manti needs to either:
a) admit that he was in on the hoax for the publicity, or
b) was in on the hoax for the publicity and as a cover because he is the gay.


  1. I'm going to say it's b

  2. I'm sorry you lost me after the picture of the Ole Miss girls. Didn't really read the rest.

    1. I understand......same thing happened to me.